American Dating Society
The Psychology Of Making A Guy Fall In Love
Getting a guy to start falling in love with you can seem like a difficult task. However, if you pay attention to the right things, look for the right clues and work to fulfill his needs on a level that no other woman has before, then it may be possible for you to tip the odds in your favor and start to get him to fall in love with you.
One key to this is to understand the psychology of a guy when he is falling in love. Furthermore, it is also very helpful and insightful to examine closely your own processes for when you have fallen in love in the past.
A good place to start understanding this it to take a closer look at your own current beliefs about love. For example, what do you believe right now about love? Do you believe you have no control over it, or that love is a matter of fate?
Is it your perception that when a guy doesn’t love you from the start that he never will?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then chances are you are likely someone who simply believes in fate, chance, and luck. You are not alone! Most people believe that love cannot be controlled or changed.
I, too, also once believed this.
However, there has been extensive research done that proves otherwise. Using your mind correctly can certainly influence someone to fall in love with you.
What you need to understand is that love is just another emotion with psychological implications. It is indeed possible to gain some degree of influence over love just as we can over fear, jealousy, anger and so forth.
Just as all of these emotions can be controlled, so too with love, to a certain extent anyway. It may seem daunting, but it is on par with controlling all the emotions mentioned above. Where we run into difficulty is with the perceptions and beliefs that we’ve amassed over the years. We are typically taught that love is completely out of our control and is simply a matter of fate.
We now know that reality tells a different story. If you learn the psychology of making a guy fall in love with you, your love story can be created. Of course, there is no 100% guarantee, but you will be able to improve your chances dramatically. So why not give it a try?
A. How and Why We Fall in Love
Before learning how to make someone fall in love with you, you need to examine the psychology of love. Making a guy fall in love with you is not done through magic potions or chanting sessions under the moon.
You may not realize it, but you, along with everyone else, has a hidden checklist in your mind. You have a set of criteria that a love interest must have before you can fall in love with them. The psychological term for this is “Lovemap.”
If a person fails to meet any points on your list, you immediately, though likely unconsciously, disqualify them from your list of potential loves. In such an instance, you will probably just remain friends with that person.
Each person has a unique checklist. The checklist is based on your values, your beliefs, your past experiences, your background and your previous relationships.
This is also the reason your friend’s significant other or love interest may seem just ordinary to you. Remember; she has her unique love map she’s reading. The mind calculates our love map for us. It is a subconscious act, just like when our brain sends a message for our heart to beat. Since our love map is created subconsciously, we may not understand exactly why we fall in love with the person we do.
As a result, we view love as a mystery and often attribute it to destiny. However, this is not the case. It is all related to the way our subconscious minds work. If you grow your awareness of your subconscious mind’s criteria, you can quickly figure out why you fall in love with a particular type of person. You can then use this information to begin to understand what fulfills another person’s love map.
A love connection will only happen when your checklist is met or when a potential partner sees that you meet their criteria. As a result, your subconscious will keep you in love with that person. It will help you to understand them and will keep you two in love and on a solid foundation in your relationship. Since your subconscious grabs onto that person specifically, you often find it challenging to let go of that love even years later.
B. How to Use Psychology to Ensure Your Love is Reciprocated
Below are a series of methods, tried and tested, that can make a guy fall in love with you. Learning what makes a guy fall in love will really improve your chances of catching the guy you have set your sights on.
1. Ensure that You Meet His Criteria
Everyone has the list of criteria, a.k.a. The love map in our heads. The list has our basic expectations for the person we meet as a love interest. It’s certainly not guaranteed that we will immediately fall in love with a person we meet who checks off all the boxes we’ve created.
However, if they don’t meet any of those criteria, it is highly unlikely we will fall in love with them. That’s true for the other person, too. Some examples of those criteria might be: “He must be intelligent,” “he must like hiking,” etc. Before trying to use the psychology of making a guy fall in love with you, make sure there’s that potential.
Research his interests and general background. The more you can learn, the more your likelihood of success.
2. Figure out what needs have not yet been met and fill those needs
People looking for partners are typically looking for similarities. For instance, they want to see similar strengths to their own. On the other hand, they want someone with strengths they do not possess. For example, they may struggle with confidence, so they’ll look for someone who exudes confidence. So, if you know, that’s an issue for the one you love, work on your confidence. Working on that confidence will send a message to them.
3. Are you trying too hard?
While many people believe they have to be persistent and continually chase after their love interest. However, this can have greatly adverse effects. Such persistence can also put a person off. You might come off as too needy. Also, if a person does respond well to such persistence, it could create an unhealthy, dependent relationship. So, while you certainly want to speak up for your interest in the guy, you don’t want to obsess over him or make him think you are desperate.
See also: How To Tell If A Guy Loves You
4. Connect through mutual friends
If you share friends with the guy you are in love with, so much the better. You can discuss the things you like about your common friends. Talk about how you met them, what bonded you and all that jazz.
When you speak about these things with him, you will wire that information into his brain. This will help you to stay fresh in his mind and give you a better chance of getting him to fall in love with you.
5. Get inside his head
The best way to do this is through repetition. So, if you mention something about you that piqued his interest, make it a regular topic of conversation.
The continual conversation will stick in the subconscious part of his mind. It doesn’t mean call them or find them every few minutes just to talk about it.
However, if you do have opportunities to connect with him in this way, you are likely to be successful. If you are shy about talking to him, you could ensure you are in his periphery on a regular basis (not so often that you appear to be stalking him, or that will certainly backfire big time). However, if you see him around and smile, perhaps he’ll smile back, and you’ll keep each other in mind.
6. Make it so you are associated with things that are positive
How do people respond when your name is mentioned in a crowd? Do they think of you as happy or fun or do they associate you with something negative like constant complaining?
Do your best to create a positive image in everyone’s minds. This will easily translate to a positive image in his mind. While we know everyone has negative attributes, focusing on the positive is a better way to create good perceptions of you among your peers. This, of course, includes the guy you are hoping will fall in love with you.
C. Does love at first sight really exist?
It sure does. If you meet a guy, and right away he meets your love map criteria, you could very well fall in love with him right away. You might be wondering how that’s possible if you’ve never spoken to them. Sometimes physical attributes or the way they carry themselves meet significant aspects of your list. It could very well happen if the way they act, look, etc. brings up images of someone else with whom you have fond associations.
Not surprisingly, a classic example of such an association is when you meet someone who brings memories of someone you’ve loved before. Our lives are often made up of patterns. One such pattern is how we choose the people we fall in love with. We tend to fall in love with similar people.
So, if you see a guy who looks like one you’ve loved before, you may very well find yourself falling in love with him. It is unlikely that you’ll immediately be aware of the reasons you’ve chosen this particular guy. You will likely think of it simply as fate, chance, or fluke.
Of course, the psychology of making a guy fall in love with you is rather complex. However, these tips should give you a good start.
Pay attention to your patterns and highlight your positive attributes.
Also, keep an eye out for what your love interest’s desires and what his patterns are. Talk about your mutual interests and friends. Ask him what else he likes to do and start learning about the things that make him tick. Keep in contact, but don’t loom over him.
To learn more about how to make a guy fall in love with you, we are currently giving away free copies of our powerful ebook, ‘How To Get A Man To Love You’, for a limited time only. This offer is limited so grab your copy now by going here.