It’s pretty fair to say that men love sex. The average male not only enjoys sex, but they also love all of the elements associated with sex – everything from conversations with their friends to social media and marketing, to porn, fantasies, and, of course, the hot topic of dirty talk.
When it comes to dirty talk, some women are uncomfortable with even talking about dirty talk, let alone acting the part with her man.
No matter where you stand, whether you are the queen of dirty talk yourself or if this is something you feel like you could never take part in, it is both interesting and insightful to understand the psychology behind why men enjoy dirty talk so much and what it can mean for you and your relationship.
Why Guys Like Dirty Talk & How It Gives You Sexual Power
Dirty talk and his brain
Scientifically, there are many reasons why men enjoy dirty talk and hearing all those naughty little words from you.
For starters, the evolution of his brain has been wired so that he is primitively oriented with the goal of reproduction in mind. This is why men have the reputation of constantly thinking about or acting in sex or sexually related activities.
Our brains are actually the most powerful sexual organ, even more, powerful than our sexual reproductive organs themselves.
Think about a time when you were not in the right mental space for sex. Maybe you were upset about something, stressed, feeling emotionally unavailable, you name it. When your mind is not in a sexual state, your body will not be either.
The mind plays arguably the largest role in sexual pleasure and the evolution of the male brain shows us time and again that the primitive creature inside is sex driven.
When dirty talk is involved, it will turn him on and ignite the spark in his brain to dramatically enhance the experience. The mind is a powerful element that we often forget about when it comes to our sexual interactions.f
Related article: What you need to know about talking dirty to your boyfriend
His fantasies and dirty talk
Speaking of the brain… the male brain constantly plays out fantasies. He may have fantasies that he has seen from porn, ones that he has thought of since he was younger, or ones he may have developed as a result of thinking of all the things he wants to do to you.
An important aspect of a healthy sexual relationship is to communicate about your fantasies to each other. If you are both comfortable with them, it’s great to actually play out, or pretend to play out, these fantasies for an exciting sexual experience.
Whether you have talked about them or not, the “dirty talk” that a man may exhibit during sex OR the “dirty talk” that he asks you for all plays into his fantasies, large or small.
Talking dirty shows your confidence and enthusiasm
There are few qualities that are sexier than a woman with confidence. When you’re using language that constitutes as “dirty talk” it shows that you’re confident in yourself and your sexuality to go along for the ride, and this is sure to turn him on even more.
Your enthusiasm makes his endorphins go wild. Endorphins are hormones that are released to make us feel good, emotionally. When you are in sync with each other and you allow yourself to “let your hair down” with engaging in dirty talk, it will arouse him and release those endorphins (really for you both), which makes you both feel good!
On the contrary, if you are quiet you could seem bored, insecure, distracted, etc. While a happy medium should be established (you don’t want to talk TOO much), it is important that you are not completely quiet.
Being quiet can cause your man to feel worried that he isn’t able to perform to please you. It can also make him wonder where your mind really is. These thoughts will leave him feeling insecure and it could result in a negative sexual experience.
Being able to talk dirty to him, even just a little, will greatly increase how attractive he finds you and will make him less likely to be interested in other women as he will be more sexually satisfied when he is intimate with you. If you are concerned about keeping your man faithful then you can read my article here to stop him straying.
Talking dirty shows your naughty side
In addition to confidence, partaking in dirty talk shows that while you maintain the image of a “good girl” in all of your other interactions, you have it in you to be a “bad girl” in the bedroom.
Most men can attest to the idea that they want a “lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets” so if you get comfortable with the dirty talk, this makes you even more attractive because of your confidence and your versatility.
See also: Ways to text him with dirty talk
Dirty talking is complimentary
Think about this scenario. You are going out for a girl’s night. For the first time in weeks you pick out an outfit that you feel confident in, you wash and style your hair, you put on that new lipstick you ordered two months ago, and you get yourself together for a night of fun. When you see your girlfriends they immediately notice the efforts and respond to you with, “Wow you look good!” and “Damn girl, you look hot!”, or “Sexy mama!” How do you feel? AWESOME, of course!
Women tend to be on the receiving end of compliments way more often than men are. When you dress up to go out with your man, you wait for a compliment to come and the likelihood of that happening is pretty high.
However, men are not on the receiving end of compliments as often. We (as women) know better than anyone how good it feels to be appreciated for who we are and also how we look, especially when we put effort into it!
A similar concept comes into play when we talk about dirty talk for men. The dirty talk that you engage in in the bedroom is the male equivalent of the many compliments you receive about how you look.
Overall, dirty talk for men helps to make them feel good, feel confident, and be reassured that they are performing well and pleasing you.
Being able to talk dirty to your man will make him feel more attracted to you. Dirty talk is deeply satisfying for men and being able to confidently whisper all those naughty words and phrases in his ear will help to keep him sexually satisfied and less interested in other women.
While it can be uncomfortable for some, in the beginning, it helps to understand what it means for men and why it is important so that you can work on becoming more comfortable, letting loose, and enjoying the dirty talk yourself!
Suzanne is a certified counselor with 6 years of experience working with individuals of diverse backgrounds and age groups. In addition to working full time as a School Counselor servicing students ages K-12, Suzanne began a side business in 2014 geared toward providing relationship and individual counseling services for adult clientele. She has worked with an extensive range of individuals helping them gain insight, foster changes, and continue to grow. She has acquired a wealth of information about relationships through her professional and personal endeavors and finds great value in sharing what she has learned.