By Erin Elizabeth
Uh, how can you keep a man who is pulling away? How about… keeping a guy interested once he seems to truly be losing interest? And does not even go out of his way to text you anymore… let alone show his affection?
For once in your life, you’re with someone you truly love and who loves you back. You’re crazy about each other! But a part of you is starting to panic. Everything is so perfect that you’re certain something will eventually go wrong. A voice in your head is saying that he’ll soon get bored with you and leave you for a better girl. This voice is getting louder and louder each day and it’s getting in the way of your happiness.
How do you keep a man, you ask. First of all, accept the fact that there’s no surefire way to keep any relationship. Once you accept this fact that there’s no assurance in any relationship, you will start to enjoy your guy as who he is and what he brings to your life. But, of course, you can try to at least maximize your shot at keeping him forever.
See also: Four steps to get your ex boyfriend back
Steps You Can Take To Keep Your Man
Step 1. Have Fun With Your Life
Most of the time, when we’re in a steady, long-term relationship, we neglect our own needs– from getting a facial to getting a new degree– because we are lazy creatures. Since we have boyfriends who truly love us, we are convinced we don’t need friends, or good skin (they’ll accept us for who we are, right?). This kind of security has a tendency to make us lazy. Fight it, sister! Please don’t do it for him, though. Don’t say “I’ll exercise so he won’t leave me” or “I’ll have hobbies so he’ll think I’m interesting.” Do things for you because you’re an awesome woman, with or without your man! Here are the basic things that you have to do:
- Stay in touch with old friends
- Meet new friends
- Try new hobbies
- Do the things you’re passionate about
- Exercise, eat right, meditate
- Shop for good clothes and make-up
- Travel more
- Cultivate a good relationship with your family
- Try sports and other activities where you meet people
- Have Me Time
See also: More Tips To Keep Him Interested
Step 2. Don’t Focus on Keeping Him
The moment you make “keeping him” a project, a life goal, you will feel the vibe. He can feel that you’re panicking deep down and although he might comfort you, a part of him will get turned off in a major way. Men like to keep chasing and making you feel loved, so by being insecure about how you think he feels about you, you’re actually doing more damage. This insecurity spills over every part of your relationship. Your mood will certainly be different and men can easily feel this. You’ll also over-analyze everything which will cause unnecessary worries and arguments. Here are some things you should focus on in your relationship instead:
- How you can grow together
- Fun things you can do together
- Ways you can help each other
- How you are good together
- How you can be better for the relationship
- How the relationship can help you be a better person
See also: Why he’s pulling away before committing
Step 3. Realize Sex is an Arena Where You Can Make a Man Go Nuts
Let’s be brutally honest here. Men crave for sex. It’s like air or water for them. Give your man mind-blowing sex and he’ll be like a poor little puppy waiting for his treats. He’ll adore you and do everything for you, basically. But let’s also get real. Mind-blowing sex has its limits. If you’ve been together for five years, chances are you’ve done all the sex positions in the Kama Sutra. Here are the things you can do to improve your sex:
- Try toys (vibrators are a good option and not too “out there” if you are shy)
- Ask each other’s fantasies and try to fulfil them (trust me, men go nuts for this)
- Seduce him even when he’s at work
- Try dancing and yoga (yoga puts you in touch with your body)
- Sext him once in a while (nothing nuts, just a few silly texts hinting that you are turned on)
- Be open to crazier sex “tricks” (by crazy I mean… lots of saliva when giving “oral,” going out of your way to make him happy, perhaps putting his two things in your mouth, you know those two things I am referring to…) I’m not saying put on a wig and say you are an anime character with a fetish for comic books… all I am saying is to be a bit open to experiencing new sexual things. Nothing too crazy just fun
When you try these things, you’re doing yourself a favor more than your man. This is a checklist of a goddess and any man would want to be your guy if you’re this awesome. Your boyfriend would have a tough time leaving you because you’re simply a catch: empowered, independent, and a beast in the bedroom. And if he would, it would be sooooo easy for you to say “Next boy!”
I don’t mean this in a rude way. I am just saying… if he is not into you, you need to be into yourself. Be happy with YOU. Realize you are more than what he thinks and feels. This is a generic, silly statement but it’s generic and popular because it’s true!
You can’t not love yourself and expect someone to want to be with you.
Ask yourself: do you truly love who you are? If not, get yourself to a place where you can honestly say you either love yourself or are making specific changes in your life to get you on a path where you will love yourself. Life is way too short to not love yourself. I mean that.