Men can seem like complex creatures to women, but they’re actually pretty simple once you understand how they think.
If you’re spending all your free time trying to turn yourself into the type of woman that society has told you that men are attracted to then it’s likely you’re way off the mark.
However, it’s not your fault. Women have been culturally conditioned by society to think that men want only a particular kind of woman who dresses and behaves a certain way.
Most women spend a considerable amount of time making themselves look physically attractive and sexy and trying to show him what a funny, interesting and all around amazing woman they are…
While guys do, of course, like these things, they’re not what’ll actually make him want to be with you and make you his woman long-term.
While you’re working hard to appeal to his sense of desire, make him attracted to you and want to commit to you, he’s likely enjoying your company, but not really feeling like you are really the one.
So what’s wrong with this picture..?
The simple answer is… you’ve been chasing him and putting in all the effort and he doesn’t value it.
While women have been conditioned this way to be appealing to guys, men have also been conditioned. They’ve been conditioned to go after what they want and prove to themselves and others that they are successful by winning their prize, be it through financial success, getting the job they want and, of course, catching the woman they desire.
If you’re in a hurry then you can learn the answer to this mystery here.
If He Has Nothing To Work For To Get You, Then He Won’t Value You or The Relationship
- 1 If He Has Nothing To Work For To Get You, Then He Won’t Value You or The Relationship
- 2 Most Women Drive Men Away Without Even Realising They’re Doing It
- 3 How To Invite a Superhero into Your Life in 3 Simple Steps
Make him work to get you
The fact is that men place the most value on the things they have to put effort into in order to obtain.
If you give a man a university degree on a silver platter, he will not give it as much value as if he had to work and sweat to get it.
If you give a guy the absolute perfect woman, he will not value her the same way if he had to pursue her for a while just to get the chance to take her out on a date.
That’s why it works so well to play hard to get. He’ll enjoy the chase and value you so much more once he manages to catch you.
However, the trick is you also need to make sure that he also feels that he is in with a chance of actually making you his woman or he’ll likely just move on.
So, this is all very well and good, but there’s also a problem with this strategy… it ceases to work once he’s actually caught you.
I’m sorry to say ladies, something happens inside a guys mind once he feels like he’s won you over.
It’s kinda like he thinks, “Mission Accomplished!” Their mind then starts to wander onto the next challenge.
So, what in the hell’s going on with this and what can you do about it? And more importantly, what can you do to prevent it from destroying your relationship?
The Problem Is NOT You – ALL Women Encounter This Problem at Some Point
So, that’s the good news, it’s not your fault. So stop beating yourself up.
When this keeps happening, many women just give up on guys. They stop themselves from getting too close with a guy because they are fearful of scaring him off.
However, for the women who get past this, they approach it differently. They reach out for help.
While there are many relationship coaches out there, many women turn to James Bauer due to his unique understanding of this problem and of guys in general, as he explains here.
Not only is James an experienced relationship coach, but he’s also a man, he’s a guy, which means he knows and understands exactly how men think and why they behave the way they do.
Through his work, he noticed a particular pattern of women coming to see him for help about guys being hot for them one minute and cold the next. Some women were even getting ghosted completely.
For most of these women, everything would be going well with their guy, and then out of the blue…
Something was suddenly different overnight.
The guy would be loving and warm, caring and interested but then for no apparent reason would become distant. It was like he no longer had time to see her. His energy felt closed off, the loving eye contact seemed non-existent and his kisses lacked the passion they once had.
After a lot of investigation work, James discovered a surprising pattern that was causing guys to react this way towards all these women.
After piecing it together, James quickly realised what was behind this mysterious behaviour. He knew precisely why these guys were backing off. He knew exactly what they needed… and exactly what they were not getting.
And the most interesting part is, it was not that there was anything actually wrong with any of these women.
Instead, James realised that it all comes down to what he calls “The Hero Instinct.” He explains it how you can turn it to your advantage here.
Most Women Drive Men Away Without Even Realising They’re Doing It
A wonderful trait that almost all women poses is how naturally nurturing and caring they are. To most guys, this is also an attractive quality.
If you’re like most women in a relationship with a guy you love then you want to take care of him. You want to always be there for him and do anything for your man.
While this is all part and parcel of a happy, healthy relationship, you’re also taking away his sense of purpose in the relationship.
You’re probably thinking, “What?! That’s crazy??!”
Let me explain…
Your man wants to be your superhero. He does not want to feel like you are the hero in the relationship.
Guys have a natural, ingrained fascination with heroes. You only need to stand outside the cinema when a Marvel movie is on and see how many fully grown men go to see the movie.
You may already be aware of this and wonder why guys seem to like superhero movies so much.
It’s because pretty much every guy fantasised about growing up to one day be some kind of superhero. In the process, he’d also get the girl.
Unfortunately, for most guys, they don’t get to satisfy their need to be a hero in their everyday jobs.
Reality just doesn’t require them to rip their shirts off and jump into action and prevent some kind of disaster. They can’t really save the world, but they can still get the girl.
Being able to get the girl they want is a satisfying challenge for an everyday guy, even if he has the beating heart of a hero. It takes heroic charm. Heroic confidence. Heroic withstanding of pain. The only thing he needs to find is…
A woman who wants and needs a superhero.
As cheesy as this sounds, this is just how guys are wired.
So, do you need to have a superhero in your life? I’ll take a guess and say, that’s not you, right?
You don’t need a hero because you’re a strong, self-assured independent woman. You can change a light bulb, you can put up a shelf and even fill up the oil and water in your car. You’re not the kind of woman who needs a man to make her feel complete.
No, instead, you have got a lot you can offer to a guy. You’re kind, caring, supportive, generous and affectionate. What you are looking for is to find a guy who is able to accept all you have to offer.
Unfortunately, that’s why a hero is not appearing in your life. That’s the reason you seem to only attract guys that just want to take from you instead. Men who just take all you have to offer and then leave you.
If you want to attract a superhero, then all you have to do is advertise that you need one.
Here’s how to do it…
See also: Seducing a man with your words
How To Invite a Superhero into Your Life in 3 Simple Steps
Ask a guy to help you
Guys love to feel wanted, especially by a woman. Ask him for help with buying a new car, a new laptop or a new cell phone.
If you’re having car troubles then get him to have a listen to the strange noise your car is making every time you start her up.
You can even ask a guy to help you with something simple, like passing you something from the top shelf.
Once he’s helped you, give him a warm thank you and a heartfelt smile of gratitude. Don’t worry, this does not make you look needy. Instead, it conveys the message that you’re a woman who has space for a guy in her life.
Spend time with guys and enjoy company
Guys find women attractive who appreciate them for just being themselves, for being men.
Who cares if his home makes him look like an obsessive sports fan? If he spends a lot of time reading up on his favourite sports team just appreciate that he has a hobby. Don’t worry, you don’t need to be a part of it. In fact, it’s healthy for couples to have interests that do not involve their partners.
If his idea of a clean pair of trousers is the ones with the least wrinkles then that’s okay. He’s a guy. You don’t want your man to me like you, you already have the feminine part of the couple covered.
Get him to gain your trust and respect
Guys love to have a challenge. While they do want your love and all the wonderful gifts you can offer him, he doesn’t want you to just hand it to him on a silver platter. He wants to earn it, and in the process, he’ll place a high value on you and your relationship.
So, give him chances to prove that he is worthy of you. You don’t need to keep doing all the work to try to win him over. Instead, relax and allow him the gratification of trying to win your affection and admiration.
If you want to discover how to do this in such a way that will make him view you as the most unique and wonderful woman whom he’s ever met, the one he absolutely has to make his own, then watch this video by relationship expert James Bauer.