It goes without saying that any kind breakup is never going to be easy. However, if you want to be able to break up with your boyfriend nicely so that the two of you can leave on good terms, there are a few different pointers that you may want to keep in mind.
No matter how long the two of you have been together, saying goodbye in a kind, thoughtful manner will reduce the blow a great deal. More good can come of finishing things on good terms than carelessly hurting someone or potentially making an enemy.
Tips One Breaking Up With Your Boyfriend Nicely
- 1 Tips One Breaking Up With Your Boyfriend Nicely
This Means Moving On
Once you know that the relationship is just not going to work, then the time that you need to say something should always be sooner rather than later.
If you hold onto a guy simply because you are not looking forward to bring single, it could cause both of you more pain in the long run. While there is never any pleasant way to break up with someone, it is going to be a necessary stepping stone for moving on.
The both of you will have the ability to benefit when you remain true to your feelings, and you are honest and open with each other. It is not going to be fair to either of you if you avoid breaking up simply out of fear. This is when the bad things start to happen, including fighting, cheating and constant regret that you are still in the relationship that you would rather not be in.
Think About What You Want To Say
Take some time to think about your reasons for wanting to break up with him and decide upon the things you want to say. Be honest with him, but don’t be harsh, brutal or rude.
Go About It Gently
Your boyfriend has feelings too, just like you do, which means that he is going to have feelings about the breakup of your relationship. However, any breakup is going to be a lot easier when you are able to point out valid reasons for your decision.
Talk about the things that don’t feel right to you instead of any faults you feel he may have. This is not an opportunity to have a dig at him and bring up all his flaws, at the end of the day we all have some. The main aim is just to convey to him that you do not want to be in the relationship any longer.
Breaking up will take a certain amount of preparation, as well as timing. Always use compassion, remain matter-of-fact and keep the line of honesty and communication open.
See also: 7 Signs You Should Get Back Together
Speak In Person
You should always be the one to convey the news yourself and in person. Never send a text and never have someone else tell him for you. At the very least, you should tell him that you would like to talk so that you two can be part of an honest, two-way conversation.
If for whatever reason, you are still too nervous or perhaps even fearful of breaking up in person, then, in this case, a phone call may be acceptable, just as long as it is not over text. However, this is definitely not the best way to finish a relationship with someone. At the end of the day, he still deserves to hear your voice and sincerity and have an opportunity to say his bit.
Keep It Private
Never break up at a social gathering or event. A breakup can feel like a stab in his pride and it may take him some time to digest his feelings before he is ready to be in public with it.
Talk together about how you are going to handle the breakup, including status changes on social media and so forth.
Talk About Your Feelings
Being honest with your boyfriend and telling him exactly how you feel is always the best way to go.
If it is true, then you can tell him that you just don’t feel the same way as you once did and although you think he is a great guy, you just don’t feel that the two for you are right together. At the end of the day, no one can argue with your feelings as that’s just the way you feel.
What If You Love Someone Else?
If you are in love with someone else then in most cases, it isn’t necessary to tell him about this, as this will only hurt him more. Be tactful and let him down gently in a way that both of you will be able to respect each other’s feelings and opinions and move on.
Once you have spoken about your feelings, then he may also be likely to want to talk about his. Be willing to listen openly to what he has to say and show that you do care about how he feels.
Related Article: How To Heal After A Breakup
Saying It Gently
The way that you bring up the feelings that you are having and how you talk about the breakup can have a major impact on how he feels when it all takes place.
If you would like to do it gently, there are words and phrases during your approach that may work better than others. For example, instead of just stating that you want to breakup straight off the bat, you may want to try to pull a few things out of him by seeing if he has noticed that there are things that are not perhaps right in the relationship. If you are able to get him to see that the pairing is not quite what it should be, you may even have a chance to get him on board with the idea during the conversation.
When the breakup happens, if the two of you want to remain, friends, you need to be able to give him some space so that he can get over it. The two of you need to move on, which is something that could be difficult to do if you are still bumping into each other everywhere you go.
You may also want to read our article on meeting up with your ex after you have broken up.
One Last Kiss/Night Together
When breaking up, some guys seem to think it is appropriate to ask for one last kiss or even a final night together. This is never a good idea and will only confuse the two of you and drag things out for even longer.
Once you have made your decision that you definitely want to end things, then that needs to be it. Stay strong and true to your decision and not only will the breakup be a smoother process, but he will also respect you more for it in the long run.
With all that being said, a final hug is okay, but nothing more.
Always be prepared to stop with the calling and texting during this time of healing after the breakup. Even though you may be the one doing the breaking up you will also likely be hurting a little too if it has been a particularly significant or lengthy relationship.
If the two of you are really meant to remain, friends, you will know it soon enough, and if you are able to ensure this break, you will see that the friendship is worth the effort. Our article on when to get in contact after breaking up may also provide you with some useful information on this.