Attraction Archives | American Dating Society

How Guys Text When They Like You – 7 Things They Do Differently

June 22, 2021June 24, 2019

Be honest: how much time do you spend trying to decipher texts from your new crush?

It can be hard to figure out if a guy is into you, especially during the early stages of getting to know someone.

Texting replaces tone, so sometimes you have to read between the lines and the emojis.

While every guy has a different texting style, they do text similarly when they’re into someone.

While they might not want to show all of their cards right away, there are a few commonalities that guys tend to use when they’re into you.

If you’re not sure whether your new match likes you, here’s how to tell through his texting.

7 Texting Things Guys Do When They Like You

They Text You “Good Morning”

Did you wake up to a good morning text from your new guy? That’s a good sign he’s into you.

Dating expert and matchmaker Susan Trombetti told Cosmo magazine that a good morning text from a guy is “just the appropriate amount of flirting for the start of a new relationship.”

Think about it: if a guy is sending you a good morning text, then you must be the first thing he thinks about as soon as he wakes up.

Yep, he’s definitely into you.

He Asks a Lot of Questions

If a guy is into you, he’s going to want to know as much as he can about you.

From asking about your favorite food to your favorite movie to what was the best thing about your day, a guy who is into you will want to know it all.

Asking questions builds a connection between you, and is a surefire sign that he wants to get closer to you.

Related article: Flirting with a guy on text

He Sends Long, Detailed Messages

Guys generally don’t communicate a lot via texting. In fact, when it comes to messaging their friends and family, less is more.

Which means if a guy is sending you long, detailed paragraphs in response to your questions, even if it was about his day, then you can bet that he likes you.

Certified counsellor Jonathan Bennett told Bustle that when a man sends you a novel-like message almost every time he texts you, then not only does he feel a connection to you, but it also means you’ve become a priority in his life.

Think about it: typing long messages can be tedious and time-consuming. So if he’s taking the time to explicitly fill you in on his life, he’s into you.

Check Out Amy North’s Text Chemistry System Here

He’s Not Afraid to Text You First

When a guy likes you there are no guessing games when it comes to who should text who first. That’s because an interested guy won’t hesitate to connect with you no matter how busy his day might be.

He’s so excited to hear from you that he doesn’t even want to wait for you to push send – he’s already on it.

On a similar note, a guy who likes you will reply back to you ASAP.

Bennet told Bustle: “This shows that the other person is excited to receive your messages and wants to keep the conversation going. It demonstrates that answering you is a priority, even above and beyond other commitments.”

They Seem Concerned About You

A guy who’s into you will be naturally concerned about your well-being. If you mentioned that you’re under the weather, he will ask how you’re feeling. He might even offer to cook you chicken soup.

Other signs he cares about you: texting you to make sure you’ve arrived home safely after your date or if you’re away on vacation, he will check in if your plane/train/bus has arrived at your destination safely. Any sign that he cares is a good sign.

He Texts “I Wish You Were Here”

According to dating expert Amy North, a guy who’s interested in you might text you, “I wish you were here.”

This insightful message means that not only is he thinking about you but he also thinks that being with you will make things better wherever he’s at and he misses you. (However, North adds this isn’t a good sign if he’s texting you from his bed late at night or at the strip club.)

He Wants to Impress You

North also says that when a guy sends you texts boasting about all the awesome things he’s doing – whether it’s winning a soccer tournament or going to a fun event with his buddies – he’s not typically bragging — he just wants to convey how fun and interesting a person he is to you.

In short, he wants to impress you. If you’re curious to learn more about the texting habits of guys and how to attract a guy through texting, then you’ll want to check out Amy North’s Text Chemistry System.

Final Thoughts

So now that you know what to look for in a guy’s text, scroll through your recent messages with your new guy.

If he’s texting you novellas about his awesome day and telling you how much he wishes you were there with him, you can rest assured he’s into you.

To know exactly what to text back to get him to ask you out or commit to you in a relationship, send him one of Amy’s recommended texts here.

5 Tips To Up Your Texting Game

June 22, 2021June 4, 2019

Texting. We all do it. It’s instant, accessible 24/7 communication that also includes cute emojis – what could go wrong?

Well, unfortunately, plenty.

For many of us, we worry about what to text, when to text, the length of the text, and how much, or how little, should we flirt?

In the dating game, we want to build a memorable connection with the new cutie in our life, and since we’re all practically glued to our smartphones, text messaging is one of the most immediate ways we can do that with someone.

While there are no hard rules for texting, there are some simple tips that will help you stand out from the crowd and make texting less stressful and more fun.

Top Tips To Improve Your Texting Game

Be Positive with Your Texting

For a recent blog post on texting etiquette, dating coach and relationship expert, Amy North said that it’s important to keep your text messages positive.

Texting can be confusing at times because we can’t hear someone’s tone of voice, she says, which means it’s better to err on the side of keeping things light.

If you don’t know each other well, it’s especially important to keep things playful because you don’t know their texting style yet.

When in doubt, throw in an exclamation mark or a friendly emoji. And if you want to know more, you should check out North’s highly acclaimed program, Text Chemistry. It’s a highly effective system to attract a guy through texting, and certainly worth checking out if you crave more of a deep dive into the art of texting.

Don’t Forget to Flirt a Little (or a Lot!)

Don’t forget that texting is a perfect little tool for flirting with him.

Maybe you want to add a little anticipation for your weekend date. Shooting a message like;

“I can’t wait to see you on Friday night!” ? with a little heart-faced emoji can ignite his passion and yearning for you.

Maybe you’re thinking about him (which you probably are), so let him know!

Dating is supposed to be fun, so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and spice things up a bit. Throw in that winking emoji and express your playful side.

If you’re really wanting to ramp things up to the next level and get his pulse racing for you then check out Amy North’s attraction text messages here.

Be a Gamechanger (Because You’re Valuable!)

Anyone who’s ever received a “hey” text knows how boring that is, which is why dating expert Matthew Hussey says to refrain from using dry text messages that don’t really say anything at all.

In his video, “3 Texting Secrets Men Can’t Resist,” Hussey says it’s important to add value to your text messages so that your intended recipient looks forward to your messages and appreciates hearing from you, which, in turn, means he appreciates you.

So, what is value?

Hussey suggests sending a funny picture or a GIF of a private joke between you.

Maybe you send a snap of the place where you went out on your first date or a link about his favorite band. Anything that instils connection.

You can catch Matt’s video here.

Ask Engaging Questions

You want to refrain from the “how was your day” or “how are you” messages. Why? Because it’s so easy to glance over a text and/or respond with one-word answers, which don’t move a relationship forward.

Instead, get more curious and initiate a conversation that’s engaging and interesting for both of you.

Instead, ask, “what’s the best thing that’s happened to you today” or “what’s your biggest goal this week?” and further cement your connection.

Avoid Using the Word “Just” and Instead Hype Yourself Up

The word “just” is one of those little words that you might not think too much about, but which actually speak volumes about your confidence.

Dating and relationship coach Mat Bogs wrote that texting someone, “Just checking in” or “Just wondering what you’re up to” screams unworthiness and neediness.

If you’re going to send someone a text, you should be deliberate and confident about it.

Instead of “just checking in,” he suggests sending something like, “Want to do something fun tonight?” or “I want to check out this new art exhibit with a few friends. Wanna join?” It shows your new crush you’re not afraid to take charge a little and you’re confident with who you want (and you want him, right?).

Final Thoughts

Text messaging doesn’t have to be anxiety-riddled or fruitless. In fact, when you keep it positive and confident while adding value to your new love (and maybe an emoji or two), you can help develop a deeper connection.

Now that you have a number of amazing texting tips at your fingertips, it’s time to get typing!

While you don’t have to try every item on the list for your first message, try out the one that feels the most natural to you right now.

If you really want to ramp up his attraction for you then check out these testing tips by Amy North.

Before you know it, your texting game will be on fire – just like your love life.

The Strange Thing That Makes Him Adore You

June 22, 2021May 28, 2019

Has there ever been a time that you were attracted to a man but you didn’t know why?

Maybe you even had some feelings for somebody you actually didn’t want to be attracted to?

Why on earth does this ever happen? How could you fall in love with someone even when your conscious mind actively resists it?

Experiences such as these are hints into the hidden world that drives our feelings of romantic attraction.

This hidden world is one all about emotional reactions. These emotional reactions are of course things we don’t control consciously.

The simple truth is that falling in love isn’t something that we choose to do. It’s actually kind of like getting thirsty. You never choose to actually get thirsty. You just happen to notice it. The stronger that your thirst gets, the harder it is to ignore it.

What if I were to tell you that there’s a sort of relationship ‘thirst’ that all men actually experience? It’s a kind of thirst which is impossible for them to quench on their own.

Do you want to know just what he is so thirsty for?

If you want to skip right to the answer, then you should check out this video which reveals how you can actually trigger his thirst for the very thing he craves and needs.

It will also show you just how to make sure you’re the only one he will depend on for satisfying this very powerful longing.

The Strangest Thing That Makes Him Adore You

Here’s why a man that’s in your life cannot tell you just what he craves the most from a relationship with you…

…He is too embarrassed to actually admit the truth.

That’s because the admission of his desire can actually wind up moving him even farther away from his goal.

This is why…

Imagine a woman that is frustrated that she has a man who never does a romantic thing for her. She winds up breaking down and explaining her desire to be pursued and romanced by him.

However, he acts as if she’s being unreasonable, and demanding her to name the one thing which is missing from their relationship.

So, she offers him a specific example. She tells him it’d be nice to get some flowers on occasion. Simple things just like that.

So, the very next day, he brings her some flowers.

But guess what?

There’s no magic in this gesture. It won’t feel special to get flowers if you actually had to request them.

It’s sort of like that in regards to men, except they have a totally different kind of relationship need. Men have an unquenchable thirst for admiration from you. He just can’t ask you for it.

How this plays out

Okay, here’s the picture…

He’s not going to tell you that he really likes you but…

“what’s missing in the relationship for me is you not admiring me enough. You seem to admire other men elsewhere in your life, which makes it really difficult for me to envision having a future with you.”

He’s never going to say that since men believe that admiration has to be earned. It’s like trying to get popular by telling the world that you’re cool. It just doesn’t work.

He’s only going to feel like he’s your hero if you wind up speaking the non-verbal language that is admiration. He’s got to read it for himself between the lines of the things you actually do and say.

Now, you could be thinking that this isn’t so crazy. You might understand why any man craves your admiration. However, if you’re thinking about this, then there’s something really important you should know.

Admiration isn’t just something that men crave. It’s that they can’t actually sustain an ‘in-love’ feeling unless the admiration is there.

Nothing will kill the attraction of a man faster than any relationship where he feels unneeded.

He needs to see himself as some kind of provider. Someone that is admired, desired and wanted by his lover because he has a value that he can offer.

If he doesn’t feel like he’s needed, then he feels emasculated, like he’s less of a man. That will kill his romantic drive.

What’s the worst part of all this?

You can’t just go about giving him admiration. It will only work when he actually believes he’s earned your respect, admiration, and trust.

However, there is some good news.

It can be both easy and even fun to let him actually earn your admiration once you figure out how you can set him up for success and you can find out exactly how to do it here.

Just find different ways to let him wind up being your hero. I should say at this point that there’s really an art form to doing this in ways that will make him crazy for you.

On the other hand, I’ve seen a woman wind up using this basic concept to wrap a man around her finger. I’m a guy, so I know what us guys need and respond to. However, it all boils down to this…

You have to trigger his innate hero instinct

If you can accomplish this, then you’ll be genuinely astonished by what will happen next.

He’ll get so loving, and so attentive, and so glaringly more interested in a long-term and committed relationship, that you’re never going to want things to wind up going back to how they previously were.

The hero instinct of a man is a subconscious drive that makes them gravitate towards those who make him actually feel like he’s a hero. It’s amplified even more in romantic relationships.

There are some life-changing ideas. For a romantic relationship, this is definitely one of them.

This is why relationship coach, James Bauer shot a video so you can make this secret your own. James exposes the secrets to his desire here.

Triggering a man’s hero instinct is certainly one thing, but learning how to do it repeatedly means knowing a few more things.

One thing is that most women don’t actually need someone to come to rescue them. That’s particularly true in this modern era. Here’s the irony…

Men still need somebody to rescue. It’s built right into their DNA to look for relationships which allow them the chance to feel like they’re a provider.

This is one tiny distinction in the genetics of men and women that winds up making a huge difference in terms of what attracts men to women. He will feel drawn to women that let him step into a hero role. That’s because his natural instincts make him thirst for this role.

Here’s the great thing about it…

He will never know why he is feeling so drawn towards you. That’s why this is an under-the-radar method because it will trigger attraction subconsciously.

The tug of his emotions will be undeniable, but if his friend asks him why he has gotten so crazy about you, then he can’t put that into words.

Our feelings surrounding attraction dive into a hidden world. Now, you have the power to see the immense possibility in that hidden world, and it’s a possibility that you can control and influence and use.

It’s not just something chemists might see like oxytocin levels of the bonding hormone in the blood. Instead, you can see it all around once you know how you can spot it.

It’s a universal pattern of interactions between males and females.

Relationship experts have always known this existed, but they didn’t quite recognize how powerful this trigger is. This is a trigger that will drive his thirst to have companionship.

So, how can you use this trigger for building romance and passion?

The simplest way to do it is by translating your desires into things that speak directly to his innate urges to be your provider. He desires to love, protect, and serve. He desires to be your hero.

If this is something that sounds fun to you, then you can learn more about this tool to enhance your relationship to the next level here.

It’s something you can learn once and use to your advantage for the rest of your life.

How to Keep a Man Interested In The Early Stages

June 22, 2021May 21, 2019

Finally, after weeks of scrolling and swiping through your favorite dating app, you met this amazing guy. You went out on a date, the sparks were flying, the conversation was flowing.

You might’ve even shared a brief “good night” kiss. It’s official: you’re definitely hooked, or at least, you’re interested in exploring where this new connection could go. While the first few weeks and months are easy to gauge a man’s level of interest in you, let’s be honest, sometimes it’s hard to keep a man interested in the long-game.

While clear communication and shared values should make your connection strong and built to last, in those moments of insecurity and doubt, there are some things you can do to help further the relationship along. Here are some tips on to keep a man interested in you.

3 Tips To Keep Him Interested In The Early Stages

Find Common Interests and Have Fun

Dating is all about connection, and how do we stay connected with our sweethearts? By spending time together. By doing activities that are fun, and allow our connection to grow and strengthen.

Find out something that he loves to do, and volunteer to do it with him. Maybe it’s playing soccer or going rock climbing. By taking an interest in his hobbies, you’ll be finding something that you both can enjoy together and he’ll also appreciate you more for wanting to be a part of his life.

Or maybe you can find a different type of activity that you both like to do together.

Whatever it is, try to schedule a common activity as part of your regular schedule. It will feel less like a “date night” where there might be added pressure and more like “fun time”. And when a man associates fun with you, he’ll feel closer to you and will definitely want to spend more time together.

Give Him Space

Are you feeling something’s a little off with your guy?

One of the most popular reasons why you might be reading an article like this one is because you’re sensing some disconnect from him. You have crazy chemistry in person, but maybe he hasn’t been in touch with you for a few days. Maybe it’s been a week.

So you’re beginning to doubt whether or not he’s still into you. The best thing you can do in this situation is to relax, and give him space. Yes, even more space.

Dating expert Single John told a reader in a similar situation for Glamour that it’s completely normal for a guy to fall off the face of the earth once in a while. Maybe he’s genuinely busy with work, or maybe he’s less emotionally involved at the moment and is being (unfortunately) a little insensitive to your needs at this time. Translation: he’s hanging out with friends, lost in his own thing, and isn’t really thinking about you right now.

So if your man needs some space, then give it to him.

If he’s truly interested in you, he will be back around and will respect the fact that you gave him the time to sort his stuff out, and will be happy to reconnect with you once again. Of course, if he’s gone off in no man’s land for weeks without communication, then that’s your cue to reevaluate your connection. Is this someone that you can really get serious with?

Be Your Best Self

Being scared that your new interest is going to find someone else more attractive than you or being worried they might become distracted by work and thus have little time to spend with you are things that are out of your control.

According to dating expert, Matthew Hussey, you can’t control someone but you can influence someone’s behavior.

And how do you do that?

By being great. By being your best self.

In a must-see video entitled “The Real Secret to Keeping Your Man”, Hussey says by focusing on growing as a person and becoming a more evolved version of yourself is the secret behind keeping a man interested.

Maybe it’s improving your communication skills or following your passion project, or just making more time to hang out with your friends.

Whatever it is, by committing to be the best person you can be, you’re spending less time worrying about how to keep a man interested in you, and more time on becoming more interesting.

Ultimately, to paraphrase Hussey, love wins. Love seals the deal. The connection is the connection. If there isn’t a genuine connection between you, one that is based on a shared feeling of respect, attraction and a willingness to learn and grow together — and, yes, love together — then there’s nothing that will keep a man interested. He’s either into you or he’s not.

The most important thing you can do is keep learning and focusing on becoming the best version of yourself. Because, one day, a man will find everything about you to be very attractive, and you won’t have a hard time keeping him interested at all.

The 3 Things Men REALLY Want From a Woman

June 22, 2021April 22, 2019

Men can seem like complex creatures to women, but they’re actually pretty simple once you understand how they think.

If you’re spending all your free time trying to turn yourself into the type of woman that society has told you that men are attracted to then it’s likely you’re way off the mark.

However, it’s not your fault. Women have been culturally conditioned by society to think that men want only a particular kind of woman who dresses and behaves a certain way.

Most women spend a considerable amount of time making themselves look physically attractive and sexy and trying to show him what a funny, interesting and all around amazing woman they are…

While guys do, of course, like these things, they’re not what’ll actually make him want to be with you and make you his woman long-term.

While you’re working hard to appeal to his sense of desire, make him attracted to you and want to commit to you, he’s likely enjoying your company, but not really feeling like you are really the one.

So what’s wrong with this picture..?

The simple answer is… you’ve been chasing him and putting in all the effort and he doesn’t value it.

While women have been conditioned this way to be appealing to guys, men have also been conditioned. They’ve been conditioned to go after what they want and prove to themselves and others that they are successful by winning their prize, be it through financial success, getting the job they want and, of course, catching the woman they desire.

If you’re in a hurry then you can learn the answer to this mystery here.

If He Has Nothing To Work For To Get You, Then He Won’t Value You or The Relationship

Make him work to get you

The fact is that men place the most value on the things they have to put effort into in order to obtain.

If you give a man a university degree on a silver platter, he will not give it as much value as if he had to work and sweat to get it.

If you give a guy the absolute perfect woman, he will not value her the same way if he had to pursue her for a while just to get the chance to take her out on a date.

That’s why it works so well to play hard to get. He’ll enjoy the chase and value you so much more once he manages to catch you.

However, the trick is you also need to make sure that he also feels that he is in with a chance of actually making you his woman or he’ll likely just move on.

So, this is all very well and good, but there’s also a problem with this strategy… it ceases to work once he’s actually caught you.

I’m sorry to say ladies, something happens inside a guys mind once he feels like he’s won you over.

It’s kinda like he thinks, “Mission Accomplished!” Their mind then starts to wander onto the next challenge.

So, what in the hell’s going on with this and what can you do about it? And more importantly, what can you do to prevent it from destroying your relationship?

The Problem Is NOT You – ALL Women Encounter This Problem at Some Point

So, that’s the good news, it’s not your fault. So stop beating yourself up.

When this keeps happening, many women just give up on guys. They stop themselves from getting too close with a guy because they are fearful of scaring him off.

However, for the women who get past this, they approach it differently. They reach out for help.

While there are many relationship coaches out there, many women turn to James Bauer due to his unique understanding of this problem and of guys in general, as he explains here.

Not only is James an experienced relationship coach, but he’s also a man, he’s a guy, which means he knows and understands exactly how men think and why they behave the way they do.

Through his work, he noticed a particular pattern of women coming to see him for help about guys being hot for them one minute and cold the next. Some women were even getting ghosted completely.

For most of these women, everything would be going well with their guy, and then out of the blue…

Something was suddenly different overnight.

The guy would be loving and warm, caring and interested but then for no apparent reason would become distant. It was like he no longer had time to see her. His energy felt closed off, the loving eye contact seemed non-existent and his kisses lacked the passion they once had.

After a lot of investigation work, James discovered a surprising pattern that was causing guys to react this way towards all these women.

After piecing it together, James quickly realised what was behind this mysterious behaviour. He knew precisely why these guys were backing off. He knew exactly what they needed… and exactly what they were not getting.

And the most interesting part is, it was not that there was anything actually wrong with any of these women.

Instead, James realised that it all comes down to what he calls “The Hero Instinct.” He explains it how you can turn it to your advantage here.

Most Women Drive Men Away Without Even Realising They’re Doing It

A wonderful trait that almost all women poses is how naturally nurturing and caring they are. To most guys, this is also an attractive quality.

If you’re like most women in a relationship with a guy you love then you want to take care of him. You want to always be there for him and do anything for your man.

While this is all part and parcel of a happy, healthy relationship, you’re also taking away his sense of purpose in the relationship.

You’re probably thinking, “What?! That’s crazy??!”

Let me explain…

Your man wants to be your superhero. He does not want to feel like you are the hero in the relationship.

Guys have a natural, ingrained fascination with heroes. You only need to stand outside the cinema when a Marvel movie is on and see how many fully grown men go to see the movie.

You may already be aware of this and wonder why guys seem to like superhero movies so much.

It’s because pretty much every guy fantasised about growing up to one day be some kind of superhero. In the process, he’d also get the girl.

Unfortunately, for most guys, they don’t get to satisfy their need to be a hero in their everyday jobs.

Reality just doesn’t require them to rip their shirts off and jump into action and prevent some kind of disaster. They can’t really save the world, but they can still get the girl.

Being able to get the girl they want is a satisfying challenge for an everyday guy, even if he has the beating heart of a hero. It takes heroic charm. Heroic confidence. Heroic withstanding of pain. The only thing he needs to find is…

A woman who wants and needs a superhero.

As cheesy as this sounds, this is just how guys are wired.

So, do you need to have a superhero in your life? I’ll take a guess and say, that’s not you, right?

You don’t need a hero because you’re a strong, self-assured independent woman. You can change a light bulb, you can put up a shelf and even fill up the oil and water in your car. You’re not the kind of woman who needs a man to make her feel complete.

No, instead, you have got a lot you can offer to a guy. You’re kind, caring, supportive, generous and affectionate. What you are looking for is to find a guy who is able to accept all you have to offer.

Unfortunately, that’s why a hero is not appearing in your life. That’s the reason you seem to only attract guys that just want to take from you instead. Men who just take all you have to offer and then leave you.

If you want to attract a superhero, then all you have to do is advertise that you need one.

Here’s how to do it…

See also: Seducing a man with your words

How To Invite a Superhero into Your Life in 3 Simple Steps

Ask a guy to help you

Guys love to feel wanted, especially by a woman. Ask him for help with buying a new car, a new laptop or a new cell phone.

If you’re having car troubles then get him to have a listen to the strange noise your car is making every time you start her up.

You can even ask a guy to help you with something simple, like passing you something from the top shelf.

Once he’s helped you, give him a warm thank you and a heartfelt smile of gratitude. Don’t worry, this does not make you look needy. Instead, it conveys the message that you’re a woman who has space for a guy in her life.

Spend time with guys and enjoy company

Guys find women attractive who appreciate them for just being themselves, for being men.

Who cares if his home makes him look like an obsessive sports fan? If he spends a lot of time reading up on his favourite sports team just appreciate that he has a hobby. Don’t worry, you don’t need to be a part of it. In fact, it’s healthy for couples to have interests that do not involve their partners.

If his idea of a clean pair of trousers is the ones with the least wrinkles then that’s okay. He’s a guy. You don’t want your man to me like you, you already have the feminine part of the couple covered.

Get him to gain your trust and respect

Guys love to have a challenge. While they do want your love and all the wonderful gifts you can offer him, he doesn’t want you to just hand it to him on a silver platter. He wants to earn it, and in the process, he’ll place a high value on you and your relationship.

So, give him chances to prove that he is worthy of you. You don’t need to keep doing all the work to try to win him over. Instead, relax and allow him the gratification of trying to win your affection and admiration.

If you want to discover how to do this in such a way that will make him view you as the most unique and wonderful woman whom he’s ever met, the one he absolutely has to make his own, then watch this video by relationship expert James Bauer.

The Truth About Why Men Like Dirty Talk

June 22, 2021November 1, 2018

It’s pretty fair to say that men love sex. The average male not only enjoys sex, but they also love all of the elements associated with sex – everything from conversations with their friends to social media and marketing, to porn, fantasies, and, of course, the hot topic of dirty talk.

When it comes to dirty talk, some women are uncomfortable with even talking about dirty talk, let alone acting the part with her man.

However, many women have been able to step into their sexual confidence and talk dirty like a pro thanks to these tips from Felicity Keith.

No matter where you stand, whether you are the queen of dirty talk yourself or if this is something you feel like you could never take part in, it is both interesting and insightful to understand the psychology behind why men enjoy dirty talk so much and what it can mean for you and your relationship.

Why Guys Like Dirty Talk & How It Gives You Sexual Power

Dirty talk and his brain

Scientifically, there are many reasons why men enjoy dirty talk and hearing all those naughty little words from you.

For starters, the evolution of his brain has been wired so that he is primitively oriented with the goal of reproduction in mind. This is why men have the reputation of constantly thinking about or acting in sex or sexually related activities.

Our brains are actually the most powerful sexual organ, even more, powerful than our sexual reproductive organs themselves.

Think about a time when you were not in the right mental space for sex. Maybe you were upset about something, stressed, feeling emotionally unavailable, you name it. When your mind is not in a sexual state, your body will not be either.

The mind plays arguably the largest role in sexual pleasure and the evolution of the male brain shows us time and again that the primitive creature inside is sex driven.

When dirty talk is involved, it will turn him on and ignite the spark in his brain to dramatically enhance the experience. The mind is a powerful element that we often forget about when it comes to our sexual interactions.f

His fantasies and dirty talk

Speaking of the brain… the male brain constantly plays out fantasies. He may have fantasies that he has seen from porn, ones that he has thought of since he was younger, or ones he may have developed as a result of thinking of all the things he wants to do to you.

An important aspect of a healthy sexual relationship is to communicate about your fantasies to each other. If you are both comfortable with them, it’s great to actually play out, or pretend to play out, these fantasies for an exciting sexual experience.

Whether you have talked about them or not, the “dirty talk” that a man may exhibit during sex OR the “dirty talk” that he asks you for all plays into his fantasies, large or small.

Talking dirty shows your confidence and enthusiasm

There are few qualities that are sexier than a woman with confidence. When you’re using language that constitutes as “dirty talk” it shows that you’re confident in yourself and your sexuality to go along for the ride, and this is sure to turn him on even more.

Your enthusiasm makes his endorphins go wild. Endorphins are hormones that are released to make us feel good, emotionally. When you are in sync with each other and you allow yourself to “let your hair down” with engaging in dirty talk, it will arouse him and release those endorphins (really for you both), which makes you both feel good!

On the contrary, if you are quiet you could seem bored, insecure, distracted, etc. While a happy medium should be established (you don’t want to talk TOO much), it is important that you are not completely quiet.

Being quiet can cause your man to feel worried that he isn’t able to perform to please you. It can also make him wonder where your mind really is. These thoughts will leave him feeling insecure and it could result in a negative sexual experience.

Being able to talk dirty to him, even just a little, will greatly increase how attractive he finds you and will make him less likely to be interested in other women as he will be more sexually satisfied when he is intimate with you. If you are concerned about keeping your man faithful then you can read my article here to stop him straying.

Talking dirty shows your naughty side

In addition to confidence, partaking in dirty talk shows that while you maintain the image of a “good girl” in all of your other interactions, you have it in you to be a “bad girl” in the bedroom.

Most men can attest to the idea that they want a “lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets” so if you get comfortable with the dirty talk, this makes you even more attractive because of your confidence and your versatility.

See also: Ways to text him with dirty talk

Dirty talking is complimentary

Think about this scenario. You are going out for a girl’s night. For the first time in weeks you pick out an outfit that you feel confident in, you wash and style your hair, you put on that new lipstick you ordered two months ago, and you get yourself together for a night of fun. When you see your girlfriends they immediately notice the efforts and respond to you with, “Wow you look good!” and “Damn girl, you look hot!”, or “Sexy mama!” How do you feel? AWESOME, of course!

Women tend to be on the receiving end of compliments way more often than men are. When you dress up to go out with your man, you wait for a compliment to come and the likelihood of that happening is pretty high.

However, men are not on the receiving end of compliments as often. We (as women) know better than anyone how good it feels to be appreciated for who we are and also how we look, especially when we put effort into it!

A similar concept comes into play when we talk about dirty talk for men. The dirty talk that you engage in in the bedroom is the male equivalent of the many compliments you receive about how you look.

Final Thoughts

Overall, dirty talk for men helps to make them feel good, feel confident, and be reassured that they are performing well and pleasing you.

Being able to talk dirty to your man will make him feel more attracted to you. Dirty talk is deeply satisfying for men and being able to confidently whisper all those naughty words and phrases in his ear will help to keep him sexually satisfied and less interested in other women.

While it can be uncomfortable for some, in the beginning, it helps to understand what it means for men and why it is important so that you can work on becoming more comfortable, letting loose, and enjoying the dirty talk yourself!

How To Be Irresistible To Men – A Woman’s Guide

June 22, 2021September 25, 2018

As women, we tend to overthink every detail and wonder if we’re doing the right thing, saying the right words, wearing the right outfits, presenting ourselves in the right way, and so forth.

To help avoid some unnecessary exhaustion, this article will help to simplify the traits and characteristics that make a woman much more attractive to men. Understanding what these traits are will help you to enhance these qualities in yourself.

However, understanding what men truly want from a woman beyond her physical appearance is the key to making yourself insatiably attractive to him. According to relationship expert, James Bauer, there is a secret obsession that all me have, and it is the woman who are able to trigger this reaction in him that appear far more attractive in his eyes than any other woman. James explains the secret and how to trigger it here.

A Woman’s Guide to Attract the Kind of Man You Want

Confidence is key

But not cockiness. How you present yourself speaks a thousand words before you even say a single one. Your physical presentation and your body language is the foundation for every other detail that the male brain is calculating about you. Check your posture. Stand straight, tall, and proud! Be conscious of your eye contact.

Lift your head high (but don’t break your neck) and make eye contact when you’re speaking to someone. When you speak, speak with conviction. You are a smart, courageous, interesting, funny woman so let that shine through your presentation of yourself. You have so many things going for you – a great job, hobbies, a social life, etc!

Anything that isn’t exactly how you’d like it to be is a work in progress and you have the confidence to know that that’s okay! Be aware of your body language, your eye contact, the language you’re using, and the conviction to the words you speak.

Kindness is just as important

Everybody likes people who are nice. Now, not to complicate things here, but there is such a thing as being TOO nice and being viewed as a “pushover”. Be kind, but also (once again) be confident to know your boundaries and your expectations. When you think kindness, think respect. Use positive and helpful language toward yourself, toward others, and in all of your engagements.

Remember the “Golden Rule” to treat others the way you want to be treated and allow that message to shine through all of your interactions and handlings, including the way you treat yourself and allow others to treat you.

Respect yourself and others

Similarly to be kind, be respectful. Self-respect entails so many variables – be kind to yourself through positive self-talk, treat yourself by taking care of your body and the way you look, respect your body’s needs through physical activity and eating well, allow yourself to try new experiences to grow as a person, take pride in the way you look and maintain your appearance. Respect others.

Speak positively and constructively of others and with others. Be helpful in all that you do. Remember that the way you act when no one is looking says way more about you and your character than you could ever describe.

Put effort into how you look

There is no need to go above and beyond or to obsess over the way you look, but when you put effort into your appearance it is a direct reflection of your self-confidence and self-respect, which in turn, will make you irresistible. Take time to work out. This does not mean that you need to be a fitness model, but you do need to treat your body well.

It is the only one you will ever have. Work out regularly, eat healthy foods, give your body the nutrition it needs, and take care of your mental health as well by resting, trying some meditation or yoga, and doing the things that make you happy!

Work on your own happiness

There is no better way to attract the right kind of people into your life than to work on your own inner wellness and happiness. Men aside for a second, you want to be surrounded by like-minded, positive people who will enhance your life and contribute to your growth and wellness. You also want to contribute to others, by the way!

Look within yourself to identify how you really feel about yourself and your life. What changes do you need to make to improve your happiness? Start with gratitude by identifying what you already have. Then, figure out concrete ways to work toward making your life even better. This is YOUR life and only you truly have the power to make it the best it can be.

Your true inner happiness will attract other happy people and other happy things.

Have fun and laugh!

Truly one of the most attractive qualities in any person is their ability to be at ease, laugh, take a joke, and make light of any situation. Of course, there are people who take humor to the extreme and act inappropriately with making jokes too often or in bad taste. But, overall, most people would say that they are drawn to people with a good sense of humor (usually coupled with maturity).

When you can show this side of yourself, people feel more relaxed around you, therefore they are drawn to the sense of comfort that you exert through your laid-back attitude!

Most importantly, always be yourself and when you are being yourself, be sure to be the best version of the person you are. Always look for ways you can improve (without criticism), be aware of how you present yourself, and let your colors shine!

What To Text a Guy to Make Him Want You

June 22, 2021September 23, 2018

When it comes to texting, we ask ourselves a million questions – What should I say? Am I being interesting enough? Am I texting too much? How long should I wait to respond? Does he know I’m joking? Should I double text? Is it too early to message him? Should I text first..?

Below is a list of the best suggestions on how to text – including what to avoid.

How To Text a Guy To Get Him To Want You

Be interesting

Talk about your plans, your friends, your family, positives of work, the hobbies you have, events you’re looking forward to, and your interests. Share positive parts of your day and ask him about the positives of his.

Tell him about a fitness class you’re taking and ask what type of workouts he is into. Let him know you’re excited about an event in your city that you’re going to attend.

Cheat! Get The ‘Exact’ Text Messages To Send To Get Him To Want You Here

Ask him open-ended questions

Do not ask questions that only allow for a “yes” or “no” response. The best way to do this is to share something about yourself within the conversation and then follow up on that same topic with an open-ended question.

For example, you can say something like, “I’m meeting up with a friend to get coffee on Sunday. What is your favorite go-to meeting spot to catch up with friends?” Or when talking about work you can ask would you rather type of questions like, “Would you rather sit in an 8-hour meeting without lunch or have to work on a Saturday for two hours?” (Assuming he and you work a normal 9-5). These types of questions are engaging, make you interesting, and help you to learn more about him.

Focus only on positives

A common and detrimental mistake they many people make is they don’t have anything to say so they resort to complaining. Do not get into this habit. Focus only on positive, funny, and lighthearted messages to share and do not allow yourself to become a sounding board for someone else to complain to.

If he starts complaining or focusing on negatives, redirect the conversation to something different or offers a shift in perspective by finding the positives in his situation. If you notice that he continues to complain, you may want to consider if these conversations should even continue.

Do not respond right away

Often times women think it comes off as “rude” when they don’t answer right away. This is simply not true. You are an independent, well-established woman who is BUSY with work, family, friends, errands, hobbies, and interests. The truth is that if you’re able to respond to every text or call immediately, you’re probably too attached to your phone and not engaged enough in the real world and relationships around you.

While it is not good to wait 3 days to respond, it also isn’t good to respond within seconds. Stick to the 80/20 rule. 80% of your time should be occupied and therefore you should be delayed in your responses (anything from a few minutes to later on in the day is acceptable).

Try to find a combination of responding within minutes, then within hours, and throw in some quick instant responses in between. 20% of your time is when you offer the instant responses.

Think of it this way: 80% of your time is spent: at work, the gym, food shopping, running errands, showering, cleaning, spending time with friends and family. 20% of your time is spent relaxing, watching your favorite shows, and sleeping. During this 20% of your time, it is okay to respond quickly. During the 80% respond within a comfortable time frame (a few minutes/a few hours). The idea is that you’re busy and you aren’t revolving your life around your phone – which is attractive! The opposite is unattractive.

Let him initiate

Most of the time. See how interested he is and if he can carry and maintain a conversation. Only share as much as you get. Do not overdo it or you are likely going to scare him away. Let him guide the flow of the conversation and be sure to provide responses that elicit continuation.

Do not text too much or repeatedly

Any typical person sees a novel of a text and becomes overwhelmed at the chore of reading and responding. Save the long thoughts and stories for your time in person! Similarly, do not double text or send multiple texts in a row. This makes you look too available and can also make you look annoying. If he doesn’t respond, cut your losses and move on, but not at the cost of your dignity.

Do not overdo the use of lol, lmao, Hahaha, or emojis

Use them appropriately and how they’re intended. Do not end every sentence with “lol” and unless you are actually laughing your ass off, don’t say it. Overuse of these texting tools makes you seem fake and uninteresting because you have nothing else to contribute in response to playful banter.

The beauty of texting is that you have time to think of a witty response! Utilize your time and utilize the gifs option for iPhones. Sending gifs is way more entertaining (and shows that you thought it through to create a clever response) than lol, lmao, hahaha, or a bunch of emojis ever will be.

Be yourself!

Keep the guidelines above in mind for your daily interactions, but do not allow them to add more stress to the situation. Texting with someone new should be engaging, exciting, and most importantly: fun! When you connect with the right person, all of those feelings will come naturally.

The most important thing you can do is to just be yourself and the right person will love you for who you are.

How To Text a Guy First Without Sounding Desperate

June 24, 2021September 13, 2018

If you’ve recently met a guy that you like and you want to get into a texting convo with him, but you don’t want to come across as needy or desperate, then this article is for you.

Texting is a great way to connect with someone you have the hots for and to find out a bit about them. The early stages of getting to know someone are always so much fun!

Receiving those early texts from them when you’re waiting by your phone with anticipation of the ‘ding’ or cute little melody your phone plays when you receive a message can make your heart skip a beat.

However, if he’s not texted you yet and you’re thinking of making the first move, those first few text messages you send him are actually a very important piece of how he will view you going forward in any kind of relationship that the two of you may have, or not.

That being said, if you are head over heels for a guy you’ve just met, and you want to start a texting convo with him, here are some top tips to help you get things started the right way.

Tips for Texting Your New Crush

Before I proceed with the tips, it is important to understand that sending a message to your crush first does not necessarily depict desperation. However, ‘how’ you do it is critically important in determining if he will perceive you as confident or desperate.

Do not text him too soon after your last encounter with him

If you have had an opportunity of meeting your crush for the first time, the first texting mistake you want to avoid is sending him a text too soon. I understand that the urge to follow-up after your first encounter may be high, but there’s no need to text, for example, the first night wishing him a good night.

So, it is advisable to wait at least 24 hours before sending your him that first message if he has not messaged you yet.

Wait for him to respond

After you break the ice by sending that first text to your crush, it is important that you give him time to respond before you send him another text.

I know it can be really tempting to send a second message when no response has been received, but waiting for a reply from gives him time to digest and absorb your message and will also make you come across as confident in yourself that you don’t need a response from him right away.

Double texting can be a big turn off. This is because the unspoken message of double texting is, “hey, I like you a lot but I’m really insecure and need reassurance from you right now that you like me too.” This is definitely not an attractive message to convey to any guy.

However, that being said, if after a week or two you still haven’t heard from him, it’s okay to send a follow-up message to see if everything is okay with him.

Do not confront him for not responding

Confronting your crush for not responding to your messages is a no-no, and is just as bad as sending back to back messages. In other words, pestering your crush with double texting and asking him whether he saw your message, and why he did not respond makes you seem like the only thing you have to do is sit on the sofa waiting for him to read and respond to your messages.

If you’re doing this then STOP IT NOW, as it definitely comes across as needy.

Do not sext

Sexting your crush before you know how he feels about you is also not a good idea. So, before you send a sext, it is important that you first test the waters to find out if your crush is at all interested in going in that direction with you.

So, do not send your crush nude pics so that you can please him or make him desire you because that will make him perceive you as a desperate woman who is willing to do anything for his approval and affection. In this case, one of two things will happen;

He’ll lose all respect for you and just use you for one thing then dump you when he’s finished
He’ll lose all respect for you and not be interested in pursuing things with you

Related article: Best ways to flirt with him over text

Do not overthink

When you send a text to your crush and he fails to respond, the best thing you can do is to just forget about it without worrying about why he didn’t text you back yet.

Overanalyzing can make you paranoid and could lead you to overeacting and pestering him about the double text. This kind of behavior is certainly unacceptable and it will definitely make you come across as needy or clingy.

The best you can do is to just wait for him to respond when he feels the urge to do so, and if he doesn’t, take it that he is not ready to engage with you for whatever reason and move on.

Final Thoughts

First impressions really count, and how you behave in the process of sending that first text to your crush will certainly determine if he will be attracted to you, or if he will pull away.

That being said, I hope that this article will help you make good decisions when texting your crush for the first time.

Fun Ways To Keep A Guy Interested Through Texts

June 22, 2021September 3, 2018

The dating world can already be a complicated place and now we have the added element of texting and social media to (sometimes) make dating seem more difficult.

If you are dating and finding yourself unsure of how to communicate via text, I’m about to help you out in this article.

If you’re in a hurry then you can watch this video by renowned relationship expert Amy North, and get the exact text messages that will build a connection and make him want you.

Be open to the concept of blackout times

One of the biggest mistakes that people make when they start texting someone new is they instantly become a texting slave, being at the other person’s beck-and-call. This is not only exhausting for you, but it is unattractive.

While I do not support playing games, I do support having a savvy strategy. Blackout times in the texting world means that you go through periods of times where you DO NOT text at all. You do not initiate and you do not respond (or depending on the situation, you may respond, but you take a while too).

The most common blackout times are: during the majority of the workday, on Friday nights (unless you scheduled a date with the person you’re texting), arguably all day on Saturday (day and night; again unless you scheduled a date), and Sunday up until about 6 or 7 pm.

Here’s the theory: during the work day, you have responsibilities and even if you can be on your phone all day, it will make you more attractive if it seems like you are so busy and needed at work. You don’t have time to be glued to your phone – which is a good thing! It makes you seem busy and interesting.

On the weekends, you have plans with friends. Unless you have plans for a date in which case texting may take place to confirm or coordinate logistics, you are NOT on your phone. You are present with whoever you are spending time with… and if realistically you are home on your couch, there is nothing wrong with that.

What is key is pretending like you aren’t sitting around thinking about that person. Keep yourself busy and interesting (or pretending to be) so he will wonder what you’re up to!

Find a healthy balance

Find a healthy balance of waiting to respond versus responding immediately. With the idea that you are busy (either at work because you’re important or in your social life because you’re loved), chances are that you are not going to respond within seconds.

A healthy balance to keep in mind is 80/20. 80% of the time, wait a bit to answer and have your waiting periods vary from a couple of minutes to a couple of hours. 20% of the time you can respond immediately or pretty quickly.

Keep in mind that when you do wait, try to switch it up and try not to exceed a long period of time often. Think of it this way: respond in two minutes (20% of your time), respond in 15 minutes (80% of your time), respond in 2 minutes (20%), respond in 45 minutes (80%), respond in an hour (80%), respond in 20 minutes (80%), respond in 2 minutes (20%).

Make your patterns unpredictable, but don’t overthink it. The truth (hopefully) is that this comes easily because you are hopefully actually busy at work and in your social life! And, if that isn’t true for you, maybe it’s time to reevaluate how you’re spending your time.

Show your fun side

Showing your quirky, funny, easy-going side to him through your texts can be a lot of fun. When you are engaging in conversation, take a deep breath and relax! Try to sneak in a joke, utilize funny gifs or memes, and be light-hearted! Think about the funny/entertaining/interesting people who you enjoy talking to and be that person, but also… be yourself!

DO NOT complain

Another HUGE mistake that many people make in texting conversations is they don’t know what to say, so they spend time complaining – about work, traffic, the weather, etc. DO NOT. I repeat, DO NOT do this.

It takes practice to resist the temptation to complain, but this is never going to end well for you, just as you should not be listening to someone else complain about mundane things.

If you don’t have anything interesting, thoughtful, or funny to say, do not say it at all. Complaining will make any guy run, guaranteed.

Remember, his friends might see your text

When texting your guy, bear in mind that he might not be alone when you send it and depending on what you send him he may show his friends.

This is even more reason to make sure you send him the right texts so not only does he think you’re hot, but his friends do too.

Why do you want his friends to also think you’re hot and not a dork?

Because if they think you’re a cool, sexy chic they’ll be saying things to him like, “ah man, you’re so lucky! Go for it, bro!”

If he gets this kind of signals from his buddies then he’ll be 10x more likely to start chasing you to make sure he gets you and not someone else.

However, if you send the wrong text or one that’s just a bit lame then if he shows his friends and they tease him that he’s texting a dork then you’ll probably be out’a there and you’ll likely not hear from him again.

BIG TEXTING HACK: To get the exact text messages to send him so he not only perceives you as a cool chic and someone he wants to get to know, but the messages that will spark a strong sense of attraction and desire in him, watch this short video here.

Never ask him to entertain you

Similarly to complaining and in light of the fact that you are a busy girl, you do not need a man to entertain you and you especially do not need him to entertain you through texts. Let him entertain you by bringing you on a date.

Never ever, no matter how bored you might actually be, ask him to entertain you. It’s unattractive and juvenile. You’re better than that.

Related article: How to text dirty to your man in 8 simple steps

Do not double text

Another rookie mistake. If you send him the same text twice, he should run. If you send a text that he doesn’t respond to and then follow up trying to continue the conversation, this also is a no-go. Conversations sometimes die off or sometimes there isn’t anything to respond to.

Wait for him to continue or move on from it. Do not send more than one text at a time in the beginning. Once you’re in a relationship that changes, but at first do not double text.

Provide responses that elicit a response

In order to help avoid having to double text, provide messages that elicit a response. Keep them open-ended or ask questions. Try to provide more meaningful responses other than “k” or “that’s cool” or “nice”. Ask questions about the topic or offer experiences you’ve had that you can relate with.

Ask questions

Ask hi fun questions with your texts, but not too many. Ask questions to show interest. Ask him about his family, his friends, work, travel, hobbies. Find out about this person you’re engaging with and be genuine! But, do not overdo it. Asking too many questions can seem overwhelming and can make him feel like you’re his mother.

If he is not reciprocating with questions consider letting this one go because he clearly is not interested in getting to know the person you are.

Stick to these strategies, show your true colors, and remember to have fun and you will continue to keep guys interested through texts!