When two people first start dating there is a great deal of excitement. The conversation feels effortless and it seems as though there isn’t enough time to get through all of the things you want to talk about.
However, as the relationship continues, you learn more about each other, hear all of the stories, and talk about seemingly everything you possibly can.
In order to stay connected and keep a relationship fresh, couples often need some help with facilitating new, interesting and intriguing conversations in order to keep the attraction spark alive.
So, in this article I will share with you my top eight conversation starters for couples. Whether you’re a new couple, an established couple that needs to liven up their relationship or you’re a couple in a troubled marriage, these tips will help you improve the conversations you have with your significant other.
Eight Interesting Conversation Starters for Couples
Use shows as a conversation starter
When couples watch the same (or at least 1-2 of the same) shows, it creates a time, place, and space for the two of you to take part in a relaxing activity together that you both enjoy.
Not only does it pretty much guarantee spending time together, but it is much more enjoyable to bounce your thoughts on the show(s) off of one another and to hear their perspectives.
There’s an added bonus if you watch something comical because laughing together will strengthen your bond and help to draw you closer.
When two people watch a show or a movie together, when they get into the program they, most of the time, naturally shift brainwaves into alpha. If you are watching the show with your significant other then the two of you shift into the alpha brainwave frequency together, which creates coherence, and therefore, a connection between you on a sub-conscious level.
Therefore, shows give you something to connect over and can help to be a great source of conversation starters.
See also: How to seduce a may with your words
Books as a conversation starter
A fun activity for couples with similar book interests is to start a book together and read it to each other or read individually, but at a similar pace to be able to discuss it.
Similar to when couples share an interest in shows, the experience is often amplified when you can share your thoughts, reactions, and questions with someone else. Plus, it can help you two to feel connected so that you don’t feel ignored or aren’t ignoring your significant other by being lost in a great story.
Another interesting phenomenon of reading a book in unison with another person is that, even though the two of you are reading the exact same book, the content will likely conjure up slightly different images, settings and feelings in each person due to each person’s unique interpretation of the book.
There are a lot of reasons why this occurs, but often comes down to the different life experiences, and therefore, the different belief systems that each person has built up over the years.
So, talking about your interpretation of the book with your significant other will not only be very interesting but also highly revealing about how each of you thinks and feels. Gaining this level of understanding of your partner will help to strengthen the bond that the two of you share.
Using current events and the news as a conversation starter
Unfortunately, we live in a world where the news is often negative and depressing. But, there are important events that take place that is worthy of discussing.
You can share stories you hear about, discuss your opinions and ask to hear your significant other’s opinion, and so forth.
The good news is that there IS good news too!
Maybe you two can try to find some channels (literal channels and figurative ones – like social media, apps) to listen to/follow good news stories.
For example, Instagram has pages and YouTube has channels of positive news stories only. You can each pick a story or two a day to share with each other to discuss.
If there is a particularly funny or comical story in the news then this will often be a great conversation starter to use the next time you’re with your partner. This will have even greater impact if the humour is similar to your partner’s sense of humour.
Gratitude as a conversation starter
A simple, easy, fairly effortless, free, and positive strategy to help with conversation is to practice sharing and hearing three (or more) things that you each are grateful for each day.
Research shows that expressing gratitude has a number of benefits, which include, but are not limited to, an increased level of endorphins (feel-good hormones), a positive shift in perspective and overall improved one’s health.
When you make a conscious effort to share with your partner, the exercise can benefit you both, especially with the added bonus of connection, shared positivity, and even expression of gratitude for each other.
You can do this wherever you are, in any capacity, and at any time that works for you both. Win-win!
Sharing something you’ve learned in conversation
It’s always enriching to learn new things and one of the ways we can learn and grow is by sharing with each other.
When you learn something new, share it with your partner! When they learn something that they’d like to share with you, be open to listening to what they have to say about it.
Remember that even though it may not be something you’re particularly interested in, it’s important to give your partner validation by showing that you care simply because it is important to THEM.
Sharing your daily experiences
This is one that you must be careful with. Too often couples get into the habit of complaining about their day or focusing on what went wrong, what is stressful, and so forth.
However, being negative only brings you and others down and does not help two people connect if it is a constant in your relationship.
Try to keep the stresses of work behind when you leave for the day, and share positives, interesting things, or other relevant pieces of information that could start a conversation. Listen to your partner when they share with you too.
It might be worth having a conversation with each other to establish some ground rules of sharing about each of your days.
Some suggestions include: leaving negativity at the office, or only allowing an allotted period of time for “complaints”.
Complaining and worrying is normal, so it is okay to do it from time to time, but be aware of how long you’re complaining for, put a conscious end time to it, and remember to focus on the positives too.
See also: What you need to do to get him to commit
Conversations about travel
Plan a trip together or talk about a trip you both would like to go on.
If you have different travel habits and interests, talk to each other about what their ideal trip would be. Where would they go? What’s an ideal period of time to stay in that place? Would they want luxurious or the experience of hostels? What kind of scenery would they want to experience? What food would they want to eat?
Ask them questions to learn about what they would love, even if it’s different from your opinion and be open and receptive to their ideas.
Conversations about food
Try out some new recipes together.
Ask what they may like to try that’s new. Maybe you can set up a plan to have a cooking contest or to surprise each other with a new meal or treat.
You can also research some local restaurants to check out together and share your opinions about the food, decor, and ambience.
It’s important to maintain your individuality in a relationship and while you likely share many interests and activities together, the more you develop yourself and open yourself up to experiences and learning, the more you will have to offer – even if you’re doing it together!
While these conversation tips will help you to maintain or rebuild the connection you share with your partner, they are by no means extensive.
If you want to make a significant impact on your relationship for the better, deepen the connection the two of you share and make him value you as a person and view you as the only one he wants to be with, then I recommend you check out relationship expert, Mirabelle Summer’s Conversation Chemistry course.