Life after Cheating: How To Handle It & When To Walk Away

unhappy couple laying on a bed

Cheating is always a difficult test for a couple. Even if you are ready to give the relationship another chance, what happened can last a long time, causing pain and deter you from being able to step forward.

“You have the right to control it to be sure that everything is really finished” – we often hear such advice.

How justified are they?

The partner should prove he/she learned a lesson

You can redistribute property and finances within the family, which will demonstrate that the cheating partner intends to confirm his allegiance and is not going to repeat the cheating.

For example, if all the joint property is owned by the husband, you can exchange this for ownership in equal shares. This will be a real demonstration of the intention to be faithful.

It is important to deal with the causes of cheating because the responsibility usually lies with both partners. Cheating occurs when it is impossible to come to a constructive agreement, to understand each other’s feelings, to honestly satisfy marriage needs. If your partner googles how to find a foreign girlfriend, he is not the one to blame.

If you forgive, you let the offense go

Sometimes an unconscious provocation of the injured party is traced behind it, and then the whole scheme of relations must be changed. The position “I am offended, conquer me, and I will still look at your behavior” is always destructive.

It is important to accept and support the general decision to maintain relations and not to fall offended. This point can cause indignation: the partner has cheated, but the actions to improve relations are mutual. However, without recognition of mutual responsibility, steps towards each other are impossible.

You have forgiven and want to start a relationship from scratch, but doubts about the honesty of the partner are natural. You can dictate several conditions to them. Their implementation will help you feel more confident and will prove that they really broke off relations with another person.

Be a little strict

You should have free access to their mail, phone and social networks. Ask them to send a message to the person with whom they cheated in your presence, confirming that everything in between is in the past.

If they write something in response, you can notify this person that you are aware of what has happened and urge them to respect your partner’s decision and not chase your family. Of course, it is impossible to maintain any friendly relations.

Demand not only the removal of all personal contacts but also the blocking of accounts on social networks. It will not be superfluous to offer the partner to change the phone number and mail address.

If they are colleagues, insist on keeping professional contacts to a minimum. In the event that they cannot influence this, ask them to talk to the management about this, even if they have to explain the true reason.

If your partner refuses, fearing for reputation, recall that they should have worried about this before. Most likely, it will be difficult for them to go to all your conditions. But your partner must understand: the restoration of trust is only possible if you are completely sure that the relationship is broken.

How to understand that a partner is ready?

He/she is open to talks about why this happened and what you, as a couple, can do to ensure that the episode of cheating is forever in the past. They do not ignore your feelings, the need to understand what happened and ask questions that you want answers to.

From time to time, memories of what happened may come back and hurt you. It seems to you that you made a mistake and can’t trust your partner anymore.

This does not mean that your relationship has no future, and you need to give yourself and them time.

 Honesty is required but not total control

It is impossible to gain confidence and prove that everything is really in the past just by handing over the phone for verification.

This can be a one-time action, which is more like a surgical operation: it is useful to see that the connection is complete and the intentions are indicated.

In the future, an attempt to roughly invade the private space of a partner will not restore relations.

The person who cheated is like a prisoner under supervision, and the victim is made an overseer and fixes their attention on traumatic suspicions and the search for evidence, and not on treatment.

Openness and lack of secrets between partners at this difficult stage of the relationship are necessary, but other actions are also needed. Sometimes it’s worth changing something globally.

This can be dismissal or relocation because the very fact of the involvement of colleagues or friends who knew about the cheatings makes the affected partner constantly feel humiliated.

Written by: Eva White

How to Make Him Interested Again After the Chase

Woman thinking how to make him interested again as she taps him on the shoulder

Things were going great. You and your new guy were constantly texting back and forth.

He was sending you, “Good morning” and “Goodnight” texts daily.

He was initiating dates, and there was an undeniable connection between you…

But now? It’s just crickets…

You know in your gut that things just aren’t the same on his end. He’s not texting as much. He’s not asking you out, or if he does, it’s at the last minute.

Ugh. Now, what..?

First, don’t panic. Sometimes guys blow hot and cold, especially at the beginning of a relationship.

If you’re not asking yourself, “how to make him interested again?” don’t worry, all might not be lost between you and your new guy.

Sending him a few clever text messages based on male psychology like these ones is the first thing you need to do to get his attention.

With the below tips, you’ll be able to snag his attention again — or know whether you should kick him to the curb.

How To Make Him Interested Again Once He Thinks He Has You

Focus on You

If your guy is blowing hot and cold at the moment then it’s time for you to focus on you for a while.

Yes, we know it’s hard not to think about the guy who you’re really into, and it’s always harder not to think about him when he’s not talking to you…but that’s exactly why you should.

If he’s not actively pursuing you that’s a sign for you to return to your hobbies, interests, and friends that you might’ve neglected while you were in lovey-dovey land.

How does this bring him back? Well, you’ll be so into yourself that you’re not thinking about him — or texting him — and that might be enough to pique a man’s curiosity.

If you’re not texting him, he might wonder: who are you texting? Besides, if you don’t hear from him, then you really know your answer.

Related article: 7 ways to keep a guy interested in you long-term

Unless You’re Committed, Keep Thinking You’re Single

woman making herself attractive and interesting

According to dating expert Mark Rosenfeld if you find that men lose interest in you after a few dates, then that usually stems from a fear of scarcity.

In his YouTube video, How To Keep A Guy Chasing (Why He Lost Interest And Stopped Chasing), Rosenfeld describes the pattern that most women fall into when they like a guy.

As he puts it, you stop acting single and you start mentally thinking he’s the one before he’s actually committed.

Sound familiar..?

Because you’re already thinking you’re together, you become more anxious and fearful about your status and whether or not you’ve messed it up when you don’t hear from him.

When a guy feels this energy from you, he immediately backs away.

So, what to do?

Keep dating other men, and keep an open mind about him and other guys.

Your energy will instantly elevate and relax, which will either attract him back, or another man who’s better suited for you will come into your life.

See also: What you can do to keep him interested in the early stages

Flip the Chase

A number of men back away when you’ve stopped yourself from being pursued, and in turn, become the predator.

Men not only like the thrill of the chase but some can spook easily when you come off strong because they don’t know how to handle the attention.

So, what’s the solution to this?

According to dating expert Dr Ali Binazir, and author of “Tao of Dating,” you need to flip the chase back to him. He suggests to send a playful text like this one. Make it known that you want to see him again, but on your terms.

Here’s an example:

“Hey, handsome. When are you going to take me out again?”

Then step back and wait for him to get back to you.

Don’t send him another text until you’ve heard from him as double texting can really kill the attraction.

Instead, just wait for him to reply. Whether or not he responds with an invitation is all the info you need.

Related article: Fun ways to keep a guy interested through text

Be Cool

While you might be tempted to reach out multiple times, or send him a snarky text after a few weeks of no communication, it’s in your best interest to take the high road. Getting nasty will only make you look bad and it will send him further away, and he’ll likely disappear altogether.

Don’t give him the satisfaction of being that “crazy woman” either. You’re better than that. Give him space and do you.

For all you know, his dog died and he just needs some space right now. If that’s the case, he will appreciate you respecting it and being the self-sufficient woman you are.

How to Make Him Interested Again – Final Thoughts

When a guy loses interest, it can feel horrible. You will probably second guess yourself and wonder what you did wrong.

While it’s difficult not to take it personally, that’s what you need to do.

Most of the time when a guy loses interest, there’s nothing you could’ve done differently. Either you weren’t a good match or he wasn’t the man for you. Because the man who is meant for you will not lose interest. And even if he does disappear for a while, he will always return.

When he does come back, the man for you will show up consistently with the intention of moving forward you in a committed relationship with you.

Demand nothing less. You’re worth it!

Still asking yourself how to make him interested again? Check out this clever advice from world-renowned relationship expert, Amy North.

You can also take a look at our homepage for more articles to help you ignite his passion for you

Top Signs He Wants a Relationship With You

A couple in a happy relationshipYou’re dating an amazing guy, and you definitely see things moving from casual dating to relationship status. But as much as you feel a connection with him, you can’t help but wonder if he’s serious about you…

Is he looking for a commitment or is he just having fun..?

Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) men can be hard to read, especially when it comes to dating. You might not want to bring up the “What are we?” question or the “Where do you see this relationship going?” conversation in fear of putting any unwanted pressure on your new guy.

Never fear. If you’re wondering if your new man wants a relationship with you, here are some of the top signs that can help to clue you in that he’s also interested in something more with you.

5 Clear Signs He Wants a Relationship With You

He Knows You as a Person — Not Just as a Body

Does your guy know your favorite meal? Does he know what you like to do in your spare time? If so, then according to relationship expert Adam LoDolce’s YouTube video, that’s a pretty surefire sign he wants a serious relationship with you.

LoDolce explains that no matter how hot the chemistry might be between you, if he doesn’t know what you do for a living or your best friend’s name, then he doesn’t want to further along with the relationship. But if he’s trying to learn more about you and asking you meaningful questions on a regular basis, then he’s serious about cementing things.

Related article: Things men want in a relationship

He Wants to See You All the Time

Okay, maybe not all the time, but if your man is consistently making plans to see you and creating space in his schedule to spend time with you then he wants a relationship with you. Important: spending time together doesn’t mean just having sex.

It’s trying new activities together, having fun, and growing and exploring your connection together. If your guy is regularly seeing you and making that connection work to the best of his ability, then he wants more with you. A man who wants a relationship will want to see you as much as he can.

He Plans Ahead

A man who wants a relationship with you is thinking about the future with you. That means he’s talking about taking a vacation with you next summer or asking if you want to see that cool concert series in a few months. He might even go one step further and buy the tickets.

A man who wants to be serious is serious about seeing you in his future, and won’t be afraid to say it. A man who only wants to be casual with you won’t talk about anything other than the here and now (if that).

See also: 6 things to keep him interested in a long-distance relationship

a man and a woman talking intimately and kissing on a bad

He Introduces You to His Friends and Family

Another sign that your new guy is serious about you is that he’s excited for you to meet his friends and family. A man who only wants a casual thing will do anything he can to avoid you introducing you to his inner circle. A man who wants more with you? He can’t wait to show you off to everyone he knows.

So if your man is asking you to attend family dinners and is psyched for you to join him and his buddies for Sunday football viewings, then you can be sure that he definitely wants a relationship with you.

You may also like: How to seduce a guy with your words

He Says (or Infers) Exclusivity

a couple kissingIf a guy wants a relationship with you, then he’s going to want to be exclusive with you. That way he knows that there isn’t a chance of another man swooping in and sweeping you off his feet. If a man wants exclusivity with you, according to relationship expert Mathew Boggs, he’ll either directly say it to you or he might infer it.

For example, he might ask you if you’re still using dating apps. If you tell him yes, then a man who wants to be with you and only you, won’t like it. A man who isn’t serious about you might shrug it off. Bogs says that might be a good opportunity to ask the question, “Does this mean you want to be exclusive with me?” If a man doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, he will let you know. If he does, he will.

Men are sometimes hard to read but when a man is truly into you and wants a relationship with you, then he will definitely give you clear and consistent signs that he’s serious. Quite simply, a man who is genuinely interested in you will act like it. Your guy might not demonstrate all of the above signs, but if he’s doing most of them, then chances are pretty great that he wants to change your status from “single” to “in a relationship.”

Why a Guy Ignores You When He Likes You & What To Do

A woman being ignored by her boyfriendYou met a great guy. You start texting back and forth. You go out on a few dates, and the chemistry is really good between you.

It feels like things are going really well..!

Then one day he doesn’t respond back to your text.

A day or two passes…

You wait…

You wonder if he’s sick, or maybe worse.

You text him, “Hey! How it’s going?”

Hours later, maybe he texts you back with an empty message, like “Hey! I’m good.” But there are no definitive plans being made.

Another day passes, and more crickets…

You wonder, what is going on?

Things were moving in a positive direction. So what in the hell happened? Did he meet someone else? Is he playing games? Does he have cold feet?

Nothing is more confusing than when a guy starts ignoring you and doesn’t reply to your texts.

Here’s what to do about it when this happens to you.

Why He’s Ignoring You When He Actually Likes You

Things Were Moving Too Quickly

a sad woman staring at her phoneLove has a tendency to sneak up on us when we least expect it, and it can be overwhelming for a lot of guys, particularly those who were only looking for something casual.

Maybe your guy wasn’t expecting anything serious with you but now he realizes that his feelings are more legit, and he’s just not ready to give you what you want at this time.

So instead of owning up to this fact, the emotionally immature man will do the fadeout.

If this is the reason behind your guy’s stonewalling, relationship expert Adam LoDolce recommends giving him space so that you both can decide whether this relationship is worth pursuing.

If he’s into you, he’ll eventually move forward — or at least let you know where he’s at. If he doesn’t, then you have your answer and it might be time to stop texting him.

P.S. You deserve someone who can tell you that!

He’s Afraid of Rejection

Everyone’s got emotional baggage, which makes them act out in dysfunctional ways. Maybe he’s ignoring you because he’s scared that you’ll reject him.

It might not make sense to you, but to him, ignoring you is a way for him not to deal with the intimacy and vulnerability that connection brings. This way he can avoid the fear and pain of rejection from his past.

If you genuinely like him, you might ask him straight up how he feels about you and ask him why he’s been distant while sharing your own vulnerability. Hopefully, this will open up a dialogue that will further connect you.

See also: Signs you’re pushing him away

a man ignoring a woman

He’s Busy (Really!)

As relationship expert Amy North, and creator of the Text Chemistry system, says in her YouTube video below, he could just be busy.

Life happens, and suddenly texting you back isn’t his biggest priority anymore. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or isn’t interested — he’s got other things going on.

If that’s the case, North says to cut him some slack and give it a day or two. If he’s into you, he’ll text you soon!

Get The Same Attraction Texts Amy Uses Here

He’s Playing it (Too) Cool

Call it the male ego, but some guys don’t want to seem too eager.

Your guy might be super interested but he wants to play it cool for whatever reason. This is akin to playing games, so if this is the reason, you might want to put the brakes on this connection yourself. However, when we play “cool” with our bravado it’s often to shield a soft underbelly.

If you’re into him, you could get curious about his behaviour and call him out on it while reassuring him that you like him too.

Related article: What to do to keep a guy interested in the early stages

You Hurt His Feelings

This is a rare reason, says dating expert Brian Nox in his YouTube video below, “When a Man IGNORES You, here’s what he’s thinking.” But it does happen. So when a guy feels slighted by something that you said or did, he will retreat and lick his wounds, ignoring you in the process.

However, the reason for this will be clear to you, says Nox. Meaning, you won’t have to ask yourself, “What did I say?” Because you’ll know. So if you know you said or did something hurtful, reach out with a genuine apology. Too many relationships turn sour because an “I’m sorry” came too late.

You can see his short video here.

Final Thoughts

Being ignored doesn’t feel good. There are many reasons why a man who likes you might be ignoring you so try not to jump to conclusions.

If your feelings are legitimate for him, then it’s up to you to get curious about your guy’s behaviour.

Need a little help?

Check out North’s Text Chemistry system to get the exact text messages that make guys value their connection with you and want to text you back frequently.

No matter what happens, you deserve someone who will put you and your feelings first.

If he can be honest with what he’s feeling and thinking, then great! But if he can’t offer you a decent reason or explanation for his behaviour, or if he continues to ignore you, then it’s definitely time to move on.

20 Flirty Good Night Texts To Send Him & Why They Work

a woman flirting over textSending goodnight texts to your new love interest is a sweet and flirty way of creating and maintaining connection and intimacy whether you’ve been dating for two weeks or two months, or are in a long-term relationship.

However, just sending a literal “Goodnight” text doesn’t make anyone feel the warm fuzzies inside. Which is why if you want to keep the spark alive between you, it helps to get a little creative with your goodnight text messages.

From flirty to sexy to sweet texts, there are many options to send to your love interest at your fingertips.

Need a little help? No sweat — here are 20 of the best examples of goodnight texts to help get you started.

20 Fun & Flirty Good Night Texts To Send Him

New Relationship Texts

If you want to stay on someone’s mind and ease the anxiety of early dating — because everyone wonders whether or not the person they’re dating is into them — then it’s a good idea to send a sweet-yet-simple goodnight text to your new squeeze.

Sending a “sweet dreams” message right before bedtime lets him know he’s the last person you’re thinking – and dreaming of which immediately cements a bond between you. Some examples to try tonight:

“I had a great time with you today. Have a great night, and can’t wait to see you again. :)”

“I hope you’re having a great night! Thinking of you. Nighty night!”

“Goodnight handsome! ;)”

“I hope you have sweet dreams and that all of them come true. Goodnight, cute person.”

See also: Make him want you with these texts

woman laying in bed texting a guy

Flirty Texts

Have you arrived at official relationship status? Sweet and flirtatious good night text messages are an easy way to let your lover know that you not only appreciate him but that you’re also still very much attracted to him.

As relationship expert Chris Vitale told Datzie when you reassure your guy that you’re into him, then his confidence immediately boosts and he will want to keep showing up for you. Plus, guys love it whenever you make dating fun. The less (unimportant) seriousness they have to deal with, the more they can relax and let their guard down to you. Why not try these flirty ones later?

“I can’t wait to fall asleep and dream of you tonight. Xx”

“My bed is so lonely without you. 🙁 Night night.”

“I’m imagining you lying next to me. Wish it was the real thing. Night, babe.”

“You’re probably getting ready for bed now…Just know that I’m thinking of you and only you. G’night sweetie.”

“Guess what? I’m wearing that cute nightie you love. Wish you were here to see it. Goodnight, babe.”

“Baby, I can’t sleep. I wish you were here to soothe me into slumberland…or maybe something naughtier. Miss your face. Night xo.”

See also: The secrets to flirting with a guy through text message

Naughty Texts

Sexy texts are a great way to deepen your intimacy with one another whether you’ve done the deed or not. They’re also particularly useful when you find yourself in a long-distance relationship, or if one of you is away on vacation or on a business trip. Try these to spice up your love:

“I wish you could hold me tonight…and then make love to me all morning long. Night, baby.”

“FYI: I’m sleeping naked tonight. And thinking of you. And doing…other things. Sweet dreams.”

“I just wanted you to know that I want you so badly right now, and I can’t wait to be naked with you. I’ll be dreaming dirty dreams of us tonight. Xxx”

“Hi, baby. I was just thinking of that time we did [fill in the blank] and how HOT that was. Good luck going to sleep now! HAHA! Night night. ;)”

“Miss me? [send sexy selfie] Sweet dreams, baby.”

Related article: Talking dirty to a guy over text – what you need to know

woman sending naughty text to a guy

Committed Relationship Texts

According to a YouTube segment with relationship and dating coach, Amy North, and creator of the Texting Chemistry System, men tend to feel underappreciated by the women in their lives, which is why sending your guy a text that lets him know you’re so grateful for him is a great way to send him into sweet slumber. Some examples:

“I love and appreciate having you in my life. Sweet dreams, baby.”

“Thank you so much for your help with [blank] today. Your support really means a lot to me. Have a good night! Love you!”

“I know this sounds a little corny but I’m really thankful that we met. You’re the best, and you make me smile. Love you, babe. Nighty night.”

“I don’t want to go to bed without telling you how amazing you are at [blank]. Seriously, you’re the best, and I’m so grateful you’re mine. Goodnight, and I love you lots!”

“I’m just re-reading our texts right now, and I’m smiling ear to ear. You make me so happy. Goodnight, baby.”

Final Thoughts

So now that you’re armed with a number of amazing and romantic texts, there’s no doubt that you’ll be sending your sweetheart off into slumber with dreams of you and only you.

If you really want to send him texts that get his heart pulse racing for you and make him think of you and only you then check out Amy North’s Texting Chemistry System. Amy has taught hundreds of women how to build attraction and intense feelings of love and connection through her cleverly crafter psychological text messages. You can watch the video below to find out exactly how she does it.


There are simply hundreds of fun and flirty goodnight texts you can send him if you let your imagination run wild. However, by using Amy’s system you will be able to send text messages that speak directly to the pleasure centers in a man’s mind to trigger his attraction process for you.

Are You Pushing Your Man Away? – 3 Huge Mistakes Women Make

woman pushing a man awaySo you met a guy and everything seemed to be going well between you. Or, at least that’s what you thought.

Then, as quickly as it had started it was all over and he was gone from your life.

We all know that when it comes to love and relationships, men and women think very differently. Anything from how to behave on the first date to when to sleep together, the perspectives are usually very different.

However, when a guy starts to pull away from a woman it’s usually for a very specific reason.

In this article, I am going to tell you about three BIG Mistakes that women are making that cause their man to pull away.

If you’re in a hurry and you just want to skip straight to the solution then watch this short demonstration video by relationship coach, Amy North. In this video, Amy shows you how to trigger a state of desire in a man’s mind more powerful than love.

While no two guys are exactly alike, they all have the same internal processes that cause them to feel states of connection, fascination, desire, lust and even love.

Once you know how to trigger these states of mind in your man at will, he will never want to leave you.

Now, without further ado, here are three BIG mistakes women make that push guy away.

See also: Why he ignores you when he likes you

3 Mistakes Women Make That Cause a Guy To Pull Away

Being Clingy

a man pulling away from his girlfriendA clingy woman is one thing that I almost guaranteed to make a guy run for the hills.

Of course, it’s a good thing to show your affection to your man and let him know he’s on your mind. However, too much or too often too soon will make him feel smothered.

Eventually, he will want to regain his independence and that’s when he will start pulling away.

Don’t let him know that you have fallen for him too quickly. At the start of a relationship, men are always looking for fun and basically, just wanting to enjoy your company.

If you let him know that you’re already planning for the future, you will scare him away.

Whatever you do, remain cool, calm and collected.

If he senses that you want more from him than what he is willing to offer, he will eventually start pulling away from you.

See also: The strange thing that makes him love you

Being Insecure

Research has shown that a staggering 97% of women are unhappy with her body at least once every day. However, you shouldn’t show your insecurities to your man if you are in a new relationship.

Yes, you can relax and talk about your gym routine or your healthy eating habits with him. Just keep the insecurities under wraps until the two of you are really close. However, even then, you do not want them to come into your relationship too much or it will likely put him off.

If you are constantly asking him if you look fat or nagging whenever he talks to an attractive woman, then you’re running the risk of ruining your own relationship. Once your insecurities come out in the open, there is no turning back.

Don’t push him away with your self-doubts. Rather, you should show him how happy and in love with life you and he will soon become more drawn to you.

Here’s a good trick to get started. Pretend that every date you go with your man is actually your first one. On your first date, you would never let him see the bad things about you. You need to be confident about yourself and he will sense it too.

Related article: More reasons why men pull away

Showing Him You’re Unhappy Without Him

a couple arguing and a man needing space form his girlfriendYes, you might be happy when your man is around but after a while, he will also be able to sense the negativity if you go flat when he is not in the room.

If he finds out that he is the sole reason you are happy, he will eventually start pulling away.

This is because he will feel pressured to make you happy, which is not attractive to any guy.

It’s actually a huge responsibility for anyone, so don’t put that on him.

Rather than making him your sole source of happiness, you need to make the most out of your life.

Start by doing the things you love. If you are making yourself happy, you will not depend on him to remain content. Actually, it’s a good way to improve your relationship. Guys are attracted to women who have a passion outside of their relationship.

It can be playing the piano, singing, cycling or rock climbing. It doesn’t matter. If you have something else in your life besides him that makes your heart sing then he will love you all the more for it.

If you’ve read this far then you probably need as much insight as possible into what causes guys to pull away. I highly recommend you watch this short video by relationship coach, Amy North.

Here she tells you what causes guys to pull away from you and exactly what you need to do to spark a state of desire in him that will make him want to stick to you like glue. You can watch the video here.

The 3 Things Men REALLY Want From a Woman

a man and a woman laughing and being closeMen can seem like complex creatures to women, but they’re actually pretty simple once you understand how they think.

If you’re spending all your free time trying to turn yourself into the type of woman that society has told you that men are attracted to then it’s likely you’re way off the mark.

However, it’s not your fault. Women have been culturally conditioned by society to think that men want only a particular kind of woman who dresses and behaves a certain way.

Most women spend a considerable amount of time making themselves look physically attractive and sexy and trying to show him what a funny, interesting and all around amazing woman they are…

While guys do, of course, like these things, they’re not what’ll actually make him want to be with you and make you his woman long-term.

While you’re working hard to appeal to his sense of desire, make him attracted to you and want to commit to you, he’s likely enjoying your company, but not really feeling like you are really the one.

So what’s wrong with this picture..?

The simple answer is… you’ve been chasing him and putting in all the effort and he doesn’t value it.

While women have been conditioned this way to be appealing to guys, men have also been conditioned. They’ve been conditioned to go after what they want and prove to themselves and others that they are successful by winning their prize, be it through financial success, getting the job they want and, of course, catching the woman they desire.

If you’re in a hurry then you can learn the answer to this mystery here.

If He Has Nothing To Work For To Get You, Then He Won’t Value You or The Relationship

Make him work to get you

The fact is that men place the most value on the things they have to put effort into in order to obtain.

If you give a man a university degree on a silver platter, he will not give it as much value as if he had to work and sweat to get it.

If you give a guy the absolute perfect woman, he will not value her the same way if he had to pursue her for a while just to get the chance to take her out on a date.

That’s why it works so well to play hard to get. He’ll enjoy the chase and value you so much more once he manages to catch you.

However, the trick is you also need to make sure that he also feels that he is in with a chance of actually making you his woman or he’ll likely just move on.

So, this is all very well and good, but there’s also a problem with this strategy… it ceases to work once he’s actually caught you.

I’m sorry to say ladies, something happens inside a guys mind once he feels like he’s won you over.

It’s kinda like he thinks, “Mission Accomplished!” Their mind then starts to wander onto the next challenge.

So, what in the hell’s going on with this and what can you do about it? And more importantly, what can you do to prevent it from destroying your relationship?

a man really wanting to kiss a woman

The Problem Is NOT You – ALL Women Encounter This Problem at Some Point

So, that’s the good news, it’s not your fault. So stop beating yourself up.

When this keeps happening, many women just give up on guys. They stop themselves from getting too close with a guy because they are fearful of scaring him off.

However, for the women who get past this, they approach it differently. They reach out for help.

While there are many relationship coaches out there, many women turn to James Bauer due to his unique understanding of this problem and of guys in general, as he explains here.

Not only is James an experienced relationship coach, but he’s also a man, he’s a guy, which means he knows and understands exactly how men think and why they behave the way they do.

Through his work, he noticed a particular pattern of women coming to see him for help about guys being hot for them one minute and cold the next. Some women were even getting ghosted completely.

For most of these women, everything would be going well with their guy, and then out of the blue…

Something was suddenly different overnight.

The guy would be loving and warm, caring and interested but then for no apparent reason would become distant. It was like he no longer had time to see her. His energy felt closed off, the loving eye contact seemed non-existent and his kisses lacked the passion they once had.

After a lot of investigation work, James discovered a surprising pattern that was causing guys to react this way towards all these women.

After piecing it together, James quickly realised what was behind this mysterious behaviour. He knew precisely why these guys were backing off. He knew exactly what they needed… and exactly what they were not getting.

And the most interesting part is, it was not that there was anything actually wrong with any of these women.

Instead, James realised that it all comes down to what he calls “The Hero Instinct.” He explains it how you can turn it to your advantage here.

Most Women Drive Men Away Without Even Realising They’re Doing It

a man who wants to be a superheroA wonderful trait that almost all women poses is how naturally nurturing and caring they are. To most guys, this is also an attractive quality.

If you’re like most women in a relationship with a guy you love then you want to take care of him. You want to always be there for him and do anything for your man.

While this is all part and parcel of a happy, healthy relationship, you’re also taking away his sense of purpose in the relationship.

You’re probably thinking, “What?! That’s crazy??!”

Let me explain…

Your man wants to be your superhero. He does not want to feel like you are the hero in the relationship.

Guys have a natural, ingrained fascination with heroes. You only need to stand outside the cinema when a Marvel movie is on and see how many fully grown men go to see the movie.

You may already be aware of this and wonder why guys seem to like superhero movies so much.

It’s because pretty much every guy fantasised about growing up to one day be some kind of superhero. In the process, he’d also get the girl.

Unfortunately, for most guys, they don’t get to satisfy their need to be a hero in their everyday jobs.

Reality just doesn’t require them to rip their shirts off and jump into action and prevent some kind of disaster. They can’t really save the world, but they can still get the girl.

Being able to get the girl they want is a satisfying challenge for an everyday guy, even if he has the beating heart of a hero. It takes heroic charm. Heroic confidence. Heroic withstanding of pain. The only thing he needs to find is…

A woman who wants and needs a superhero.

As cheesy as this sounds, this is just how guys are wired.

So, do you need to have a superhero in your life? I’ll take a guess and say, that’s not you, right?

You don’t need a hero because you’re a strong, self-assured independent woman. You can change a light bulb, you can put up a shelf and even fill up the oil and water in your car. You’re not the kind of woman who needs a man to make her feel complete.

No, instead, you have got a lot you can offer to a guy. You’re kind, caring, supportive, generous and affectionate. What you are looking for is to find a guy who is able to accept all you have to offer.

Unfortunately, that’s why a hero is not appearing in your life. That’s the reason you seem to only attract guys that just want to take from you instead. Men who just take all you have to offer and then leave you.

If you want to attract a superhero, then all you have to do is advertise that you need one.

Here’s how to do it…

See also: Seducing a man with your words

How To Invite a Superhero into Your Life in 3 Simple Steps

Ask a guy to help you

a woman asking for a man's helpGuys love to feel wanted, especially by a woman. Ask him for help with buying a new car, a new laptop or a new cell phone.

If you’re having car troubles then get him to have a listen to the strange noise your car is making every time you start her up.

You can even ask a guy to help you with something simple, like passing you something from the top shelf.

Once he’s helped you, give him a warm thank you and a heartfelt smile of gratitude. Don’t worry, this does not make you look needy. Instead, it conveys the message that you’re a woman who has space for a guy in her life.

Spend time with guys and enjoy company

Guys find women attractive who appreciate them for just being themselves, for being men.

Who cares if his home makes him look like an obsessive sports fan? If he spends a lot of time reading up on his favourite sports team just appreciate that he has a hobby. Don’t worry, you don’t need to be a part of it. In fact, it’s healthy for couples to have interests that do not involve their partners.

If his idea of a clean pair of trousers is the ones with the least wrinkles then that’s okay. He’s a guy. You don’t want your man to me like you, you already have the feminine part of the couple covered.

Get him to gain your trust and respect

Guys love to have a challenge. While they do want your love and all the wonderful gifts you can offer him, he doesn’t want you to just hand it to him on a silver platter. He wants to earn it, and in the process, he’ll place a high value on you and your relationship.

So, give him chances to prove that he is worthy of you. You don’t need to keep doing all the work to try to win him over. Instead, relax and allow him the gratification of trying to win your affection and admiration.

If you want to discover how to do this in such a way that will make him view you as the most unique and wonderful woman whom he’s ever met, the one he absolutely has to make his own, then watch this video by relationship expert James Bauer.

Questions To Ask a Guy to Get To Know Him Personally

a couple talking and asking questions about each other in a cafeThe beginning stages of dating come with many emotions and questions. While it is new and exciting to learn about someone, you often feel like you want to know everything about them and you want to know it fast!

However, it is also important to enjoy the process of getting to know someone.

Getting to know someone steadily over time helps to feed the flames of interest and intrigue.

If you find out everything about them too quickly, and similarly, they with you, then you may find the attraction starts to fade before you’ve established a strong connection.

With that said, in order to do get to know your new love interest effectively, there are a number of topics you can ask him to both understand and get to know him better.

7 Questions To Ask a Guy You Like

Ask questions about his family

Ask him questions to understand who is in his family, what the dynamics are, and how he speaks about them.

The way a man speaks about the people who are important in his life is extremely telling for how he will treat you if the relationship progresses.

When it comes to his female relationships, it is vital to pay attention to the way he describes his mother and any sisters or other female relatives and close friends.

It is also important to try to hear how the relationships are between him and those people. It is great if he describes his mother in a loving way, but if she is his pride and joy, she could become jealous of you.

If he describes her in an unloving way, it could be a flag that he does not have a lot of respect for women. There are hundreds of possibilities of social dynamics, so the more you ask and the more you listen, the more you will piece it all together.

Related article: Eight conversation starters for couples

Ask questions about his friends

Who a person is friends with says a lot about them as a person. If he seems to have a lot of friends, but not many close friends, this can be a sign that he may have some walls up when it comes to getting close or some other struggles with formulating close intimate relationships with people.

Conversely, if he has a few close friends regardless of the number of friends who are not as close, it shows that he is good at formulating and maintaining relationships.

The way he talks about his friends also says a lot about him as a person. Does he speak highly of them? Does he tell you about their positive qualities? Or does he use a combination of descriptors, both positive and negative?

If he puts any of his friends down for any reason that is typically a red flag! It can show signs of insecurity and also that he does not have respect for his friends – which means he definitely won’t have respect for you.

Details about the friends themselves also tell you a lot of information. What do they do when they hang out? Do they watch sports and relax? Do they go out partying every weekend? Are his friends single or in relationships?

If his friends are mostly single and going out often, it is not a great sign for you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to settle down, but it will be difficult for him to balance friends who are in a different place with a relationship. However, if the majority of his friends are in relationships, it is likely that he is looking for that too.

a couple flirting at dinner

See also: How to seduce a guy with your words

Ask questions about how he spends his time

Does he have a variety of interests and hobbies? Is he constantly working or doing work when he isn’t? How does he like to spend his time? Does he like a lot of alone time, to be with others or a combination? What does he like to do for fun? Go out to eat, party, go to shows, stay in and relax, play sports, shop or perhaps play video games?

Getting an idea of how he likes to spend his spare time will also be very revealing. From this, you will get a sense if he is more introvert or extrovert and what kind of social skills he has.

Ask questions about travel

Asking him questions about where has he travelled is a fun and interesting topic of conversation and will also tell you a lot about his interests and experiences of life.

What have been his best and worst experiences when travelling and why? Asking about the most enriching, life-changing moments from travel will also give you a good insight into what is important to him on a soul level.

Continuing the conversation with questions such as where would he like to go and what the ideal vacation looks like to him will also give you a good idea of your travel compatibility with him.

Does he prefer to sit on the beach, party or relax on vacation? Or, does he like to sightsee, hike, and be adventurous? How do his travel plans or dreams align with yours? How are they different? Does he prefer to stay in 5-star hotels, or does he like to use Airbnb or stay in hostels?

Not only will these questions be very revealing of his character, but they will also help you to understand the compatibility you have with him.

Asking about his travel experiences, plans, and dreams, can give you a lot of information into how well-rounded (or not) he is, how flexible or rigid he may be, and how he spends (or doesn’t spend) his money.

See also: Truth finally revealed – why guys love dirty talk

Ask questions about his bucket list

What are some things he has already done? What else is on his list to do? Why are these important to him? What is something he would love to do, but is too afraid to try? What is it about the key moments of the things that he has already done on his list that made the experience so fulfilling?

Again, these kinds of questions help to reveal what is truly important to him at a soul level.

a couple with a great connection

Questions about his goals and aspirations

Asking him about his goals will give you a good indication of his ambition and also his self-esteem.

If he has rather lofty goals, for example, then it can be a great indication of good self-esteem. However, if he has had that goal for years and has still not taken action to make it happen then he may be just a dreamer.

Getting an idea of both his personal and professional goals will tell you how career-orientated (or not) he is. It’s fine if a person has more personal goals than career goals, it just indicates that personal growth and fulfilment is more important to them than their career.

Asking him about where he sees himself in three, five and ten years time is also a great question to find out his ambition and aspirations.

See also: Ways to keep him interested through texting

Ask questions about his fitness

Health and fitness is a growing concern for the majority of people. However, there are also some people that just don’t seem to give a damn.

So, asking him questions about health and fitness is a great way to learn about how important this aspect of life is to him and will help you to further understand your potential compatibility.

Does he like to work out? What does he like to do to de-stress? What kind of self-care does he partake in? Is he open to new experiences or does he like to stick to his routine? Does he have a weekly fitness routine? What would he like to change about the routine he has and of course, what are his health and fitness goals?

Final Thoughts

There are many questions you can ask a guy to get to know him on a deeper level, to find out what makes him tick and to help give you an idea of your compatibility. And these seven conversation topics are a great place to start.

However, remember when you are having a conversation with someone new, don’t bombard them with a million questions all at once, or he will feel like he is being interrogated. It’s absolutely fine, in fact, it’s better not to ask all these questions and more on the first meeting. Spread it out over time and enjoy the “getting to know you” process.

Besides asking him questions to get to know him, always bear in mind that a good conversation is a two-way street. So share your experiences with him as well, so he can also get a flavour of you.

8 Conversation Starters For Couples to Build Closeness

a couple having a conversation on the sofa while drinking wineWhen two people first start dating there is a great deal of excitement. The conversation feels effortless and it seems as though there isn’t enough time to get through all of the things you want to talk about.

However, as the relationship continues, you learn more about each other, hear all of the stories, and talk about seemingly everything you possibly can.

In order to stay connected and keep a relationship fresh, couples often need some help with facilitating new, interesting and intriguing conversations in order to keep the attraction spark alive.

So, in this article I will share with you my top eight conversation starters for couples. Whether you’re a new couple, an established couple that needs to liven up their relationship or you’re a couple in a troubled marriage, these tips will help you improve the conversations you have with your significant other.

BOY HACK: How To Make Him Want You, & Only You With Your Words

Eight Interesting Conversation Starters for Couples

Use shows as a conversation starter

When couples watch the same (or at least 1-2 of the same) shows, it creates a time, place, and space for the two of you to take part in a relaxing activity together that you both enjoy.

Not only does it pretty much guarantee spending time together, but it is much more enjoyable to bounce your thoughts on the show(s) off of one another and to hear their perspectives.

There’s an added bonus if you watch something comical because laughing together will strengthen your bond and help to draw you closer.

When two people watch a show or a movie together, when they get into the program they, most of the time, naturally shift brainwaves into alpha. If you are watching the show with your significant other then the two of you shift into the alpha brainwave frequency together, which creates coherence, and therefore, a connection between you on a sub-conscious level.

Therefore, shows give you something to connect over and can help to be a great source of conversation starters.

See also: How to seduce a may with your words

Books as a conversation starter

A fun activity for couples with similar book interests is to start a book together and read it to each other or read individually, but at a similar pace to be able to discuss it.

Similar to when couples share an interest in shows, the experience is often amplified when you can share your thoughts, reactions, and questions with someone else. Plus, it can help you two to feel connected so that you don’t feel ignored or aren’t ignoring your significant other by being lost in a great story.

Another interesting phenomenon of reading a book in unison with another person is that, even though the two of you are reading the exact same book, the content will likely conjure up slightly different images, settings and feelings in each person due to each person’s unique interpretation of the book.

There are a lot of reasons why this occurs, but often comes down to the different life experiences, and therefore, the different belief systems that each person has built up over the years.

So, talking about your interpretation of the book with your significant other will not only be very interesting but also highly revealing about how each of you thinks and feels. Gaining this level of understanding of your partner will help to strengthen the bond that the two of you share.

LIFE HACK: How To Make Him Want You, & Only You With Your Words

a couple reading a book and talking together about the content

Using current events and the news as a conversation starter

Unfortunately, we live in a world where the news is often negative and depressing. But, there are important events that take place that is worthy of discussing.

You can share stories you hear about, discuss your opinions and ask to hear your significant other’s opinion, and so forth.

The good news is that there IS good news too!

Maybe you two can try to find some channels (literal channels and figurative ones – like social media, apps) to listen to/follow good news stories.

For example, Instagram has pages and YouTube has channels of positive news stories only. You can each pick a story or two a day to share with each other to discuss.

If there is a particularly funny or comical story in the news then this will often be a great conversation starter to use the next time you’re with your partner. This will have even greater impact if the humour is similar to your partner’s sense of humour.

See also: How to spice up your relationship with dirty talk

Gratitude as a conversation starter

a woman and her boyfriend lying on a couch looking at each otherA simple, easy, fairly effortless, free, and positive strategy to help with conversation is to practice sharing and hearing three (or more) things that you each are grateful for each day.

Research shows that expressing gratitude has a number of benefits, which include, but are not limited to, an increased level of endorphins (feel-good hormones), a positive shift in perspective and overall improved one’s health.

When you make a conscious effort to share with your partner, the exercise can benefit you both, especially with the added bonus of connection, shared positivity, and even expression of gratitude for each other.

You can do this wherever you are, in any capacity, and at any time that works for you both. Win-win!

More info: The text messages to send him to make him want you

Sharing something you’ve learned in conversation

It’s always enriching to learn new things and one of the ways we can learn and grow is by sharing with each other.

When you learn something new, share it with your partner! When they learn something that they’d like to share with you, be open to listening to what they have to say about it.

Remember that even though it may not be something you’re particularly interested in, it’s important to give your partner validation by showing that you care simply because it is important to THEM.

Sharing your daily experiences

This is one that you must be careful with. Too often couples get into the habit of complaining about their day or focusing on what went wrong, what is stressful, and so forth.

However, being negative only brings you and others down and does not help two people connect if it is a constant in your relationship.

Try to keep the stresses of work behind when you leave for the day, and share positives, interesting things, or other relevant pieces of information that could start a conversation. Listen to your partner when they share with you too.

It might be worth having a conversation with each other to establish some ground rules of sharing about each of your days.

Some suggestions include: leaving negativity at the office, or only allowing an allotted period of time for “complaints”.

Complaining and worrying is normal, so it is okay to do it from time to time, but be aware of how long you’re complaining for, put a conscious end time to it, and remember to focus on the positives too.

See also: What you need to do to get him to commit

Conversations about travel

Plan a trip together or talk about a trip you both would like to go on.

If you have different travel habits and interests, talk to each other about what their ideal trip would be. Where would they go? What’s an ideal period of time to stay in that place? Would they want luxurious or the experience of hostels? What kind of scenery would they want to experience? What food would they want to eat?

Ask them questions to learn about what they would love, even if it’s different from your opinion and be open and receptive to their ideas.

Conversations about food

Try out some new recipes together.

Ask what they may like to try that’s new. Maybe you can set up a plan to have a cooking contest or to surprise each other with a new meal or treat.

You can also research some local restaurants to check out together and share your opinions about the food, decor, and ambience.a man and woman laughing about their marriage together

Final Thoughts

It’s important to maintain your individuality in a relationship and while you likely share many interests and activities together, the more you develop yourself and open yourself up to experiences and learning, the more you will have to offer – even if you’re doing it together!

While these conversation tips will help you to maintain or rebuild the connection you share with your partner, they are by no means extensive.

If you want to make a significant impact on your relationship for the better, deepen the connection the two of you share and make him value you as a person and view you as the only one he wants to be with, then I recommend you check out relationship expert, Mirabelle Summer’s Conversation Chemistry course.

How To Know If It’s Over Or He Just Needs Space

a couple arguing and a man needing space form his girlfriendWe all go through it from time to time, our partner acts a little distant, is more short than usual and maybe even totally off-hand.

While there can be numerous reasons why he’s acting this way, it is also totally natural to think straight away that it has something to do with us or that you’ve done something wrong.

While his behaviour could, indeed be to do with you, it also may not be the case.

So, if you’re feeling a little unsure, wondering if your relationship still has hope or not, continue to read below to try to understand if the relationship is over or if there’s a chance that maybe the guy in your life just needs some space.

4 Ways To Tell If It’s Over or If He Just Needs Space

He has told you

If your guy has clearly told you that he needs space, then you have your answer. A big difference between men and women is that men are much more literal than women are, especially when it comes to their emotions.

When a woman says she wants space, she usually doesn’t mean that and actually means that she wants the guy to chase her. But, when a man says he needs space, he means it and he’s serious about it.

If your guy has told you he needs space, it is extremely important for you to respect and honor that request. If there is hope of the relationship being fixed, the most important thing you can do is show that you are taking his request seriously. If you do not, you may push him away even further.

See also: How to get him to fall in love and commit to you

He has become more distant

Have you noticed that your guy is not calling or texting as much? Has he started to slow down with his responses to you too? What about making plans? Has he started to become busier in recent history and less available?

While all of these possibilities could be circumstantial, they could also be signs that he is pulling away and trying to gain some space from the relationship. It does not necessarily mean that it has to do with you – he could have some of his own things going on that he is trying to manage, or he may be getting afraid of having strong feelings, or he may be pulling away because the relationship is ending.

There are a number of reasons that could cause this behavior. What’s important is to note the change in a non-aggressive way and tell him you notice some distance and are wondering if he is okay. Ask him if it has to do with you or not. If it does, try to give him some space and if you feel it is worth waiting for, be patient.

Regardless of his reasons, remember that if you give him a hard time, you can push him away whether it has to do with you or not. What he needs are some support and understanding.

With that said, it is not at all recommended for you to wait around for someone who potentially does not see your value and worth. While it is fair to be understanding of his needs and respectful of his space, you must also protect yourself and set your own boundaries and expectations.

Do not allow someone else to treat you like an option if that is the case.

Related article: 3 things that cause men to pull away

a couple not getting on and needing space in the relationship

Related article: 6 reasons guy’s pull away before they commit

He’s making plans without you

If he usually includes you or at least consults with you before making plans and now that has changed, there is a good chance he is pulling away.

The key piece here is if there is a change. He is an independent person who is allowed to make his own decisions and plans without you, but if he has historically included and considered you and now he is not, it is likely a sign that he is purposely trying to do things without you for whatever his reasons may be.

However, it could also be that he is making plans with friends to maintain his individuality, which is fair and healthy.

See also: 4 powerful keys to get him back fast

He’s starting arguments with you for no reason

This may be a sign that he has a lot on his mind, he is experiencing conflicting feelings, he is becoming frustrated with you, and/or he is purposely (consciously or not) picking fights with you to create some space.

If this starts happening in your relationship it is likely that he is looking for, and creating space. Aside from attempting to talk about what’s happening, it is important to try to recognize that he needs space and to give it to him.

You will be able to have more productive conversations when you are both calm and have had time for yourself.

See also: When he’s not responding to your texts

Your individual situation has many factors that only you and your guy know the details of.

a sad couple not communicatingThe signs above are examples of ways that he may be pulling away from you in an effort to gain distance and space.

This does not necessarily mean that the relationship is over, but it does mean that he either has something separate from you that he needs to work through, or that there is something he is seeking space from within your relationship.

See also: Why he’s ignoring you but likes you

Open communication is the most important first step you can take. Ask him what is going on, how he feels, how you can help him if his reason is something separate from you, or what you can do to improve the situation if it involves you.

If he expresses that it does have to do with you, hear him out and try to understand his reasons. If you feel that you want it to work, it is extremely important to honor that space he is requesting, with your own guidelines included in that as well.

If he has made it clear that he needs space, and you decide to give him that space, but after some time (at least 3 weeks) there doesn’t seem to be much progress toward you working things out, do not do yourself the disservice of waiting around for him.

You need to take time to heal, learn from this experience, and work on moving on. You should never wait around for anyone or be at someone’s disposal for an extended period of time.

Know your self-worth, work on yourself, surround yourself with people who love and value you, and move on.

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