The Truth About Why Men Like Dirty Talk

woman sitting on a bed talking dirty to her boyfriendIt’s pretty fair to say that men love sex. The average male not only enjoys sex, but they also love all of the elements associated with sex – everything from conversations with their friends to social media and marketing, to porn, fantasies, and, of course, the hot topic of dirty talk.

When it comes to dirty talk, some women are uncomfortable with even talking about dirty talk, let alone acting the part with her man.

However, many women have been able to step into their sexual confidence and talk dirty like a pro thanks to these tips from Felicity Keith.

No matter where you stand, whether you are the queen of dirty talk yourself or if this is something you feel like you could never take part in, it is both interesting and insightful to understand the psychology behind why men enjoy dirty talk so much and what it can mean for you and your relationship.

Why Guys Like Dirty Talk & How It Gives You Sexual Power

Dirty talk and his brain

Scientifically, there are many reasons why men enjoy dirty talk and hearing all those naughty little words from you.

For starters, the evolution of his brain has been wired so that he is primitively oriented with the goal of reproduction in mind. This is why men have the reputation of constantly thinking about or acting in sex or sexually related activities.

Our brains are actually the most powerful sexual organ, even more, powerful than our sexual reproductive organs themselves.

Think about a time when you were not in the right mental space for sex. Maybe you were upset about something, stressed, feeling emotionally unavailable, you name it. When your mind is not in a sexual state, your body will not be either.

The mind plays arguably the largest role in sexual pleasure and the evolution of the male brain shows us time and again that the primitive creature inside is sex driven.

When dirty talk is involved, it will turn him on and ignite the spark in his brain to dramatically enhance the experience. The mind is a powerful element that we often forget about when it comes to our sexual interactions.f

Related article: What you need to know about talking dirty to your boyfriend

His fantasies and dirty talk

woman whispering dirty talk to her boyfriendSpeaking of the brain… the male brain constantly plays out fantasies. He may have fantasies that he has seen from porn, ones that he has thought of since he was younger, or ones he may have developed as a result of thinking of all the things he wants to do to you.

An important aspect of a healthy sexual relationship is to communicate about your fantasies to each other. If you are both comfortable with them, it’s great to actually play out, or pretend to play out, these fantasies for an exciting sexual experience.

Whether you have talked about them or not, the “dirty talk” that a man may exhibit during sex OR the “dirty talk” that he asks you for all plays into his fantasies, large or small.

Talking dirty shows your confidence and enthusiasm

There are few qualities that are sexier than a woman with confidence. When you’re using language that constitutes as “dirty talk” it shows that you’re confident in yourself and your sexuality to go along for the ride, and this is sure to turn him on even more.

Your enthusiasm makes his endorphins go wild. Endorphins are hormones that are released to make us feel good, emotionally. When you are in sync with each other and you allow yourself to “let your hair down” with engaging in dirty talk, it will arouse him and release those endorphins (really for you both), which makes you both feel good!

On the contrary, if you are quiet you could seem bored, insecure, distracted, etc. While a happy medium should be established (you don’t want to talk TOO much), it is important that you are not completely quiet.

Being quiet can cause your man to feel worried that he isn’t able to perform to please you. It can also make him wonder where your mind really is. These thoughts will leave him feeling insecure and it could result in a negative sexual experience.

Being able to talk dirty to him, even just a little, will greatly increase how attractive he finds you and will make him less likely to be interested in other women as he will be more sexually satisfied when he is intimate with you. If you are concerned about keeping your man faithful then you can read my article here to stop him straying.

a man and a woman talking intimately and kissing

Talking dirty shows your naughty side

In addition to confidence, partaking in dirty talk shows that while you maintain the image of a “good girl” in all of your other interactions, you have it in you to be a “bad girl” in the bedroom.

Most men can attest to the idea that they want a “lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets” so if you get comfortable with the dirty talk, this makes you even more attractive because of your confidence and your versatility.

See also: Ways to text him with dirty talk

Dirty talking is complimentary

Think about this scenario. You are going out for a girl’s night. For the first time in weeks you pick out an outfit that you feel confident in, you wash and style your hair, you put on that new lipstick you ordered two months ago, and you get yourself together for a night of fun. When you see your girlfriends they immediately notice the efforts and respond to you with, “Wow you look good!” and “Damn girl, you look hot!”, or “Sexy mama!” How do you feel? AWESOME, of course!

Women tend to be on the receiving end of compliments way more often than men are. When you dress up to go out with your man, you wait for a compliment to come and the likelihood of that happening is pretty high.

However, men are not on the receiving end of compliments as often. We (as women) know better than anyone how good it feels to be appreciated for who we are and also how we look, especially when we put effort into it!

A similar concept comes into play when we talk about dirty talk for men. The dirty talk that you engage in in the bedroom is the male equivalent of the many compliments you receive about how you look.

Final Thoughts

Overall, dirty talk for men helps to make them feel good, feel confident, and be reassured that they are performing well and pleasing you.

Being able to talk dirty to your man will make him feel more attracted to you. Dirty talk is deeply satisfying for men and being able to confidently whisper all those naughty words and phrases in his ear will help to keep him sexually satisfied and less interested in other women.

While it can be uncomfortable for some, in the beginning, it helps to understand what it means for men and why it is important so that you can work on becoming more comfortable, letting loose, and enjoying the dirty talk yourself!

Why Men Look At Other Women – The Surprising Truth You Need To Know

a man looking at another woman while walkingImagine this scenario: You’re with your boyfriend, husband or significant other having a romantic date and a beautiful woman walks by. You can’t help but notice that your man instantly turns to look at her, leaving you feeling inferior and uncomfortable.

Maybe you get mad at him for it, maybe it leads to an argument, or maybe you just keep it to yourself and feel bad wondering if you are good enough, if he is bored in your relationship, if he wants to sleep with her, if she has something you don’t, and so on.

Now, this feeling of “less than” is amplified when we constantly compare ourselves in this social world seeing beautiful women all around us through the social media lens.

While this feeling is normal, let me explain some things below that will hopefully make you feel a bit better when you find yourself in this situation.

See also: The real reasons why men cheat

What Does It Mean When His Eyes Wander?

It’s evolution, baby

I know this is not exactly the answer you want to hear, but he really can’t help it (most of the time).

When we look back in history and go back to the days of our prehistoric ancestors, we can understand that men and women evolved differently in many ways.

One of the largest differences between men and women from an evolutionary perspective is that the primary role of a woman was to nurture and care for children in order to prolong the lives of offspring to ultimately maintain and sustain the population.

Instead of caring for the children, the role of the man was to provide resources (food, shelter, and protection) and to spread his seed to create as many children as possible to add to the population.

This is the primary reason why it is so much more hurtful for a woman when her man “emotionally cheats” because he is providing resources for someone else, therefore taking away from her and her children (from an evolutionary sense).

Men on the other hand, traditionally have more of a problem with women “physically cheating” because then he won’t be sure if the child he is providing for is, in fact, his and his hard work and resources could be going to someone else’s child. So, men are hardwired to look at other women for the purpose of reproducing, but…

It doesn’t mean what you think it does

It doesn’t necessarily mean that he is bored with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. It doesn’t mean that he wants another woman more than he wants you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s going to fantasize about her. It doesn’t mean that he is trying to disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable.

It doesn’t mean that you’re less than or that you’re lacking something that she has. It doesn’t mean that he is going to cheat on you.

If he has a wandering eye then what it could mean is that he finds her attractive. It could mean that, because of the way his brain is structured, that hormones are released to make the experience “feel good” for him.

It could also mean that the honeymoon phase of your relationship is either over or is nearing the end. It could also mean that he is potentially curious about what it would be like to be with her. However, all of these possibilities are still not factors to be concerned about and they do not have to be detrimental to your relationship as long as you have a healthy, communicative, trusting relationship.

It is likely that the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over or is nearing the end.

Related article: How to keep your man faithful

The honeymoon phase

The honeymoon phase of a relationship usually lasts between 6 months and a maximum of 3 years. This is when each partner experiences a “high” on love as they have continual hormones released, such as serotonin and dopamine.

During this time, each partner usually fails to notice the annoying habits of their significant other, they feel that they can’t get enough of each other, and they usually feel like they do not notice anybody else in the room in most circumstances.

When this period fades, the “high on love” feelings fizzle out, the annoying habits become noticeable and well… annoying, and each person starts to notice other people more than they did in the beginning.

For men, they look much more at women because of how they are hardwired (as mentioned above), and for women, we notice our men looking more than we ever have before.

Now that you understand why he looks, what should you do about it?

a man and woman lying on the grass holding each other

What you can do when he looks at another woman

First, try to view the situation differently now that you have some insight.

Understand that as long as you have a happy, healthy relationship in every aspect, that he is not doing this to upset you and he isn’t even doing it intentionally.

Hopefully, this newfound understanding alone will help to alleviate your distress about it. But, if he is gawking or otherwise outwardly disrespecting you, you must address this behavior so that it ends.

See also: Getting him to fall in love and commit to you

If it continues to make you uncomfortable because you feel that he is looking excessively, it is important to communicate how you feel about it. Just be sure that you do not communicate it in an attacking, accusatory way.

It would even probably be best for both of you if you can try to laugh it off, while also addressing it with something along the lines of,

“I know you’re a man so you truly can’t help it (laugh about it), but can you please try to be more mindful of looking around at other women in front of me?”

As long as he loves and respects you, he will put effort into granting this request. Just remember that you’re going to have to continue to remind him in the future because truly, he can’t help it.

How To Keep a Man Faithful & Stop Him Straying

couple talking intimatelyThe beginning of a healthy relationship is always exciting. It’s the time when both people are on their best behavior, when each person is taking care of themselves to look their best, and when the honeymoon phase is at the most heightened part of the relationship.

However, as time goes on and comfort levels increase, the true colors start to shine, we let our less appealing sides show, and the relationship overall becomes “less exciting.”

While there are many positives of this transition, one of the concerns is how to keep your main faithful as your relationship becomes more comfortable.

How To Keep Him From Straying

Continue to fulfil his emotional needs

The most important thing you can do to keep him faithful is to continue to fulfil his emotional needs by being supportive, caring, a good listener, etc.

Think of him as your best friend. How do you treat your best friend when you’re with her? Treat him that way too.

When you pay attention to your man’s emotional needs he will feel supported and taken care of, which will make him want to stay with you and not cheat with someone else.

Related article: The truth behind why men cheat

Keep things interesting

a man and woman laughing about their marriage togetherAfter the honeymoon phase ends and you become more comfortable with each other as you sync your normal life routines it is important to spice up your relationship from time to time.

Make a conscious effort to try new experiences together. Anything from extravagant vacations travelling the world, to “staycations”, to learning new things together can help to enhance your relationship.

You can keep it simple too by learning new recipes together (even simple free online searches will do the trick). Try a dance class, maybe join a workout class together, etc. Even watching shows or reading the same book gives you the common ground of things to talk about.

Surprising him can help to break up your routine; buy some new sexy lingerie, send him sexy text messages, leave little notes hidden for him, try something new and fun in the bedroom, and surprise him with his favorite dinner.

When you keep things interesting, you keep him excited and loving you, which will make him want to stay with you.

See also: How to become irresistible to him

Take care of yourself

When you become comfortable with someone it is easy to stop caring as much about grooming and possibly even taking care of your body in other ways (like working out and eating healthy).

Make sure that you are maintaining good hygiene, which includes showering regularly, washing your hair, and shaving your legs. Put effort into looking nice (do your hair, put a little makeup on, care about what you’re wearing).

Continue to put effort into your overall health and physical well-being by working out regularly, nourishing your body, and being mindful of participating in activities that are healthy for both your mind and body.

When you take care of yourself, you show that you have self-respect, and a huge part of keeping your man from straying is to maintain his level of respect for you. If you have self-respect, he will continue to respect you as well.

Related article: 7 things you can do to keep him interested in a long-term relationship

Respect him

Respect his needs, his thoughts, his feelings, his ideas, his job, his input, his help, his time, his space, his hobbies, his family, his friends, his style and his choices in life.

In many traditional heterosexual relationships, women tend to “take care” of men. While it is completely fine to want to help him and make him comfortable, be sure that you do not try to control him and disregard his own thoughts and ways of doing things.

His family and friends will also no doubt, be very important to him, so be sure to not speak ill of these people, even if he does at times.

Show respect for everything he is and everything he does and support him while helping him grow. Compliment him when he’s looking good and when he does something well.

Let him know you appreciate everything he does for you. A simple “thank you” and “I understand” goes a long way in a long-term relationship. If he feels respected, cared for, and appreciated, he will be less likely to stray because he won’t need to look for it elsewhere.

a couple in a committed relationship

Laugh together

Laughter is one of the strongest ways that we can connect to another person in any relationship. Laughter helps to ease any tension between you and your man by finding the fun and the funny in all situations!

Do things together that elicit humour, like going to a comedy show or watching funny movies. Laughing together helps to keep relationships fun and light-hearted, which also helps in times when things are more serious.

Laughter increases our endorphins which are our “feel good” hormones, so when we associate laughter with someone else, we increase our “feel good” emotions that we have toward that person.

When you laugh together in your relationship, you will strengthen your relationship and ultimately, you will keep him from straying.

Eye Contact During Sex – Why He Closes His Eyes

a couple trying to make eye contact during sexThere are many times when men close their eyes during sex and there are a number of reasons why he may be doing this.

Sometimes it means he’s trying to get into the flow of his rhythm with you and he doesn’t want to lose control. However, other times it can mean that he’s “somewhere else” mentally and even “with someone else” in his mind.

Of course, your guy may not be doing this at all. There are several other reasons why he may be closing his eyes, which I go into more detail about in this article. However, if you are concerned that he may not really be present with you during sex then you need to give him a strong reason to bring his attention back to you.

According to sex therapist, Felicity Keith one of the most effective ways to turn your man on and create an incredible sexual connection with him is to use the words that ignite the passion and excitement in his brain. Felicity explains exactly how to do it here.

Why Isn’t He Looking At Me?

It has to do with his senses

The first reason that men close their eyes during sex has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their senses. Our five senses (sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch) work collaboratively to contribute to our experiences.

Think about this: have you ever turned the music down while you’re driving to be able to “better see” where you are going in an unfamiliar space? Or, have you ever closed your eyes when you’re listening to something that you are trying hard to hear? If you have, you understand the psychology behind closing off one of our senses in order to enhance another.

Have you closed your eyes while kissing someone? You likely have. The reason for closing your eyes is not because you are thinking of something else, because you are trying to disconnect from the situation, or for any other reason other than to enhance the sensation of the kiss and the emotions that come along with it.

When your man is closing his eyes during sex, there is a very good chance that this is the reason he is doing it: to enhance the physical and emotional experience of it.

Think about when you are getting a massage or experiencing another physically pleasant sensation, or even when you are having sex. Sometimes when you close your eyes, it removes any other outside distractions or focal points and allows you to fully enjoy the experience.

See also: Why men like dirty talk

a man and a woman talking intimately and kissing on a bad

He is actually enjoying it too much

Most guys put conscious effort into holding back from climaxing during sex so sometimes they close their eyes to concentrate on holding back in order to prolong the experience and to continue your pleasure.

While he is likely fully engaged and enjoying it, he is also conscious of your pleasure in the act and wants you to be able to fully enjoy it for as long as you can too.

Now, add in that men do not want to be “that guy” who is a one-minute man! It bruises his ego, makes him self-conscious, and makes him feel like he is not able to meet your needs.

So if this is the reason, take this as a positive that he is not selfish, that he wants you to enjoy the experience as well, and that he is putting off his own pleasure for the both of you.

Closing his eyes may help to remove the sexy image of you for a few minutes while he adjusts his mindset to last longer or he may have a “go-to” image that is NOT sexy in order to help bring him back before climaxing too early.

See also: The good girl’s guide to talking dirty

a woman kissing a man's chest and not making eye contact while having sex

He is thinking of someone else

Okay so this is not the response you wanted, but it could be a reality. However, first understand that if he is thinking of someone else, this is a normal occurrence that, let’s be honest, you probably experience too.

If he is thinking of someone else, it is likely that he is thinking of someone who you do not need to worry about – like a celebrity, or possibly a porn star.

As long as it is someone who is “out of reach” that he is not actually able to be in a sexual situation with, there is nothing to worry about. He could also be playing a fantasy in his mind during this time. Unless his eyes are perpetually closed, this is also nothing to worry about.

He could also be thinking of… YOU! He may be playing out his fantasies in his mind, with you as part of them. Or, there is a very good chance that he has taken a snapshot of you in a sexy position in his mind that he is holding onto as he closes his eyes.

See also: Dirty talk text messages to get him thinking about you

If he closes his eyes 90% of the time, it would be worth inquiring about it in a non-accusatory way. Chances are, you have nothing to worry about.

The only time you should worry is if he has been having close relationships with females who you are unsure of – like a new coworker. If this person is someone within reach who he COULD be in an in-person situation with, it is possible that he is thinking of her while he is having sex with you.

While this is an obviously unpleasant thought, this is the less likely possibility and even if it is happening, it does not mean that he will follow through with this fantasy.

Take notice of how often he is closing his eyes. Try to have confidence and reassure yourself that it is likely nothing to worry about. Remind yourself of all the possibilities listed above and that the reasoning for him closing his eyes is likely due to a positive reason related to you as opposed to a negative reason that involves someone else.

If it is persistent and it is bothering you, simply ask him what is going through his mind at that time to help to understand him more deeply and to strengthen your relationship.

How To Tell If You’re Really In Love With a Guy

two people in love looking into each others eyesFalling in love is a beautiful experience. Throughout life, we go through multiple heartaches, disappointments, and confusing circumstances when it comes to romance, but falling in love makes all of those questionable, unpleasant experiences feel worth it.

Love can be easily confused with lust. Lust is when you are excited about the prospect of a person and you feel like you can’t stand to be away from them.

Love, on the other hand, has elements of that feeling, yet there are more specific feelings we have when we are in love.

The Telltale Signs You’re In Love With Him

Love is easy

Lust often has complications tied to it – you live far away, or it’s extremely passionate, but complicated because other people are somehow involved, or it’s secretive but fiery.

Love is not those things. Love is easy.

You do not have to wonder about how the other person feels for you and your feelings toward them are not complicated. It feels effortless. Over the course of time, “I” progresses into “we” and it feels non-threatening. It feels like this is the way it’s supposed to be.

They’re always on your mind

They are the first person you think of in the morning and the last you think of at night. You think of them all day throughout your day. You wonder what they’re doing, how their day is going. You consider them when navigating your own social endeavours. You consider their feelings even when they’re not around.

If they are always on your mind, it could just be lust, but if it lasts over a longer period of time, it looks like it probably loves.

See also: 7 ways to make him fall in love with you

You always want them to be part of what you’re doing

They enhance everything you do and make every experience funnier, brighter, and sweeter. You don’t care what you’re doing as long as they are part of it. You want to include them in on most of the things you do, yet you never feel pressured to include them. It’s a true desire for them to be there.

Sometimes you even feel like an experience is missing a small element due to their absence. However, if you always want to be part of each other’s plans and don’t allow for space or understanding of separate time, it could just be lust.

Related article: The 12 signs he loves you too

You have a healthy balance

Despite the fact that you always want to be with them and that you always want them to be included in on everything you do, you both have a happy balance of maintaining your lives, especially your social lives.

You still value the importance of quality time with friends, without your significant other and you do not sacrifice your friendships in lieu of wanting to selfishly be with your boo.

You find a happy balance of these situations. When you find a happy balance of quality time, then it’s probably love.

See also: The weird thing that makes him adore you

two lovers laying on the floor looking at each other

You want them to be happy and comfortable

If you are suddenly finding yourself considering their feelings with almost everything you do, going out of your way to make them feel comfortable (getting up early to make their coffee, going to the store on your lunch break to get the ingredients for their favorite meal, picking them up from the airport when it isn’t convenient for you etc.) you are in love.

It’s a true sign of love when you do things for another person for the sole purpose of knowing that it will make them happy.

It may not be convenient, or you may have to compromise something of yours, but you do it anyway because their happiness is important to you. When someone else’s happiness is just as important to you as your own, you’re in love.

See also: The things that make a guy fall in love with you

You are open to new experiences

Remember when you said you would never be a runner? Or you would never shoot a gun? What about when you thought you’d never eat steak?

Now that your new boo loves all of these things you’re finding that you’re more open to them too. You’re willing to expand your horizons beyond your comfort zone to try new things just because your partner is into them.

Pretty soon you start to synchronize everything. You start using the same catchphrases, sharing the same lingo, ordering the same food, becoming interested in the same shows and hobbies, and even dressing alike.

Studies of people in love find that over the course of time you become so synchronized that you actually start to resemble each other physically. So next time you and your boo match for a date unintentionally it might be a sign that you’re in love.

See also: The psychology behind how and why guys fall in love

You know you can trust him

Trust is an extremely vulnerable feeling because many of us have experienced situations where our trust had been compromised.

When you are in love with the right person you still may experience thoughts of doubt that creep in from time to time, but overall your gut tells you that you truly can trust him.

You just know in your soul that he would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship. This is a feeling that you truly can only experience when you are actually in love because when you are truly in love you are safe.

You feel better when you’re around him

Whether you had a stressful day at work or you have the flu, he somehow makes it all better. He helps you to relax, takes care of you, and loves you – boogery tissues and all.

Overall, if your relationship has a healthy balance, you feel that you can both completely be yourselves, and you both enhance and improve each other’s lives while feeling crazy about each other, but not actually acting crazy, you’re likely in love.

Enjoy this time and focus on gratitude to help these happy feelings stay with you for a lifetime!

How To Act When He Pulls Away and Comes Back

a man pulling away from his girlfriend and then comes backIt is not uncommon to have a relationship seemingly come to a halt after things have been going so great. Of course, this can leave you feeling helpless that your man has started to pull away.

The good news is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is over.

In fact, this behavior is more common than you might think, and it is due to a number of possible reasons.

Most commonly, men just get scared of commitment.

Traditionally as a society, we train our men so that they steer away from deeper emotions. However, in reality, he feels his emotions to the same degree that women feel theirs; men are just less expressive about them.

Therefore, when a relationship becomes serious there is the potential for him to become afraid of the emotions he is now facing. It then becomes natural for him to try to gain back some control – by pulling away.

When He Pulls Away – How To Handle Him

So, what should you do about it?

The last thing you want to do is leave him to his own devices to make up his mind about you. Leave him too long and you may find that he has been snagged by another woman.

On the other hand, you don’t want to come across like you’re nagging him, or worse yet, like you’re desperate and needy for his attention.

When a man feels the need to pull away, it’s usually because there’s one or more hidden need that he has deep down inside, and he is not sure if you will be able to fulfil them.

So he pulls away to reflect on you and the relationship, and all the interactions that he’s had with you so far.

While each guy is different from the next, there is one need above all else that all men deeply crave. It’s something he craves, and is obsessed with more than money, true love or passionate sex, however, most women do not even know it exists.

Society has trained us to always ask what the woman wants in a relationship. What are her needs.

However, men have deep yearnings too, which often go overlooked, manly because most men just don’t talk about their feelings.

But they’re still there just below the surface…

Guy psychology shows that this little-known yearning is the key to unlocking his heart, his love, and his undivided attention and devotion.

In this article I will share with you the important do’s and don’ts of what to do when a guy is playing the push/pull game with you. These tips will help you navigate these choppy waters.

However, if you want to get to the heart of the matter then there’s just one switch you need to flip.

And when you do, he’ll start treating you with respect, showering you with his attention, and wanting to be with you, and only you.

Renowned relationship expert James Bauer explains this one secret yearning that all men have, and how to flip the switch in his heart here.

DON’T Take The Situation Personally

You first have to understand that you should not take this situation personally especially if your relationship has been positive, healthy, and happy. It is normal for men to experience fear and hesitation leading to their self-created distance.

The best thing you can do for yourself and for your relationship is to remind yourself that this is a reflection of him and processing his emotions and that it is not a reflection of you, despite the fact that it feels that way.

See also: Top 6 reasons why he pulls away before he commits

DO Be Supportive

f he is pulling away due to work commitments, or other issues that are going on in his life, then do be supportive. However, you also need to let him know that you cannot wait around for him forever.

The best thing you can do is to play it cool while also expressing your perspective, AND your expectations.

Let him know you care about him and that you want to be with him, and that you support and respect his time and space. If space is what he is asking for, give it to him. But, also express your expectations and boundaries.

If you choose to wait around for him, know that you may end up wasting a lot of time. It is better to tell him you will give him space for a period of time (determine what you’re comfortable with – a week? A month? A year?), but also communicate your own needs and expectations and make it clear that you will not wait around or allow him to come back only when it is convenient for him.

Unfortunately, you cannot control the outcome of this situation, but you can control your response to it and your response (cool and supportive, but clear and decisive) will help in leading you toward the outcome you desire.

DO Maximize Your Time

Once you’ve established how to manage the situation, it is time to focus on yourself and maximizing the time you have.

Although the assumption is that you are experiencing feelings of sadness, worry, doubt, and maybe even anger, this is an opportunity for you to focus on yourself, manage your time in a way that’s convenient for you only, and to reflect to see if this is actually what you want.

DON’T Sit Around and Wait For Him

Spend your time with people and things that make you happy. Haven’t seen a friend in a while? Call her up and make plans! Been wanting to try a cooking class or photography lessons? Now is the time. Thinking about a new fitness routine? Try it out.

The more you spend your time on people and things who add value to your life, the better off you will be, and in turn, the more appealing you become.

When you are surrounded by positive people, you naturally view life and events more positively, which helps to manage the emotions of your situation, while also helping you feel better. When you spend time doing things that make you feel good, you will exude that energy in all that you do.

a couple hugging

See also: How to pull away from a guy if you still love him

DON’T Suppress Your Emotions

Be sure to allow yourself to feel and release any negative emotions. While it is healthy and productive to spend time with positive people and to spend time engaging in enriching experiences, it is also equally important to allow yourself to process the various emotions you are experiencing.

There is strong evidence that yoga and meditation are powerful tools to help improve your state of mind and well-being during emotionally trying times.

Try something that works for you so that you don’t end up making yourself so busy that you disregard the self-care that is necessary. Set aside some time each day to process your emotions.

DON’T Reach Out To Him Often

Make him miss you. A comfortable guideline is to only respond to him when he says something of importance to you. This is crucial because if you continue to treat him the same way you were before he decided he wants space then there will be no reason for him to work toward establishing the same level of a relationship with you again.

If he can have you and his space, why would he change that?

You must distance yourself and make him miss having you there. Do not accept invitations to do things with him that you would have done previously. Do not send him goodnight or “miss you” texts. Make him feel the absence from your life.

What and When To Text Him

So, with that said, when should you text him, and what should you say?

One of the biggest rules here is not to come across desperate, needy, or like you’re just sitting around waiting for him. You also don’t want to come across like you’re mad at him either.

Keep your texts short and sweet, and indirectly convey the message that you’re busy doing fun things and you don’t have too much time to talk right now. However, you must not say this directly. It needs to be indirectly conveyed in your message, just like relationship expert James Bauer explains here.

James actually teaches women exactly how to trigger a psychological response in a guy to respond and call you with a simple text.

If you want to discover the one little text message that is guaranteed to get your man’s absolute attention then all you need to do is make this one small tweak. Once you do this you will quickly notice just how regularly he starts messaging you to find out how you are.

DO Let Him Know You’re Reacting Positively

Indirectly, of course. You want him to know you’re not sitting on your couch crying over him.

Post pictures to social media of you having fun with our friends (but be cautious not to overdo this). Hopefully, he is also connected with your friends on social media so they can also post and tag you in fun and exciting pics too.

If he does not have access to you like he once did, combine with seeing that you’re out and about, it will drive him crazy and make him miss you in his life.

When He Comes Back

First and foremost you must ask yourself if this is what you want and if you’re okay with resuming this relationship. If the answer to that is yes, it is important to communicate that while you support his decision for space, this is a one-time deal. He must be sure this time around that this is what he wants and you must be sure that this is what you want.

If the answer for both of you is yes then it is important for you to accept him back openly.

Remember that you agreed to this situation, therefore it would not be fair for you to hold it over his head moving forward. Be clear, communicate maturely and effectively, and move forward positively.

Final Thoughts

Navigating the waters when a guy is pulling away from you and then coming back can be tricky. While a lot of guys just need time before they fully commit, this behaviour usually comes from an uncertainty he has. He is not sure if you will be able to quench the thirst he has in his heart for his deepest craving and desire.

However, once you fulfil this hidden need, he will never want to let you go.

Relationship expert James Bauer explains exactly how you can fulfil this need and win his love, devotion, and his undivided attention in this short video here.

How To Get Your Boyfriend’s Trust Back If You Broke It

a couple who trust each other smilingTrust is at the core of every relationship and it either exists in a healthy, solidified way or it does not exist due to wrongdoings and past experiences.

Trust is a main point of contention for many people in relationships because when we allow ourselves to trust somebody, we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and give someone the opportunity to hurt us.

When our trust is broken, it is very difficult to restore. Many people carry trust issues from past relationships into current ones because they have a protective emotional wall up in an effort to defend themselves from being hurt again.

If you have made a choice that has compromised someone’s trust in you, it may be possible to redeem yourself depending on the circumstances. But understand that the process will likely be long and will require a significant amount of energy and effort in order to put things right so you can both move on from it.

Related article: The 4 steps to getting him back

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Trust You Again – What You Can Do

If you are trying to redeem your mistake and get your ex boyfriend to trust you again, you must first be willing to admit your mistake and that you were wrong.

Try to dig deep to understand why you did what you did and ask yourself the following questions:

  • Did you consider him?
  • Did you think about your actions before you made your choice?
  • Did you have intentions of hurting him?
  • Was your choice selfishly motivated?
  • Did you just do something impulsive without thinking it through?

The hope and assumption here is that you made an impulsive choice without considering how it may impact someone else. Think about what drove your choice and understand the motive behind the behavior.

Listen to and validate his concerns

When you break someone’s trust they are going to have various thoughts and emotions about it. Understand that he may repeat his concerns to you, or new ones may arise. He may seem distant toward you at times because of the thoughts in his mind.

Ask him to share his concerns and be genuine in your responses. Listen to his thoughts and validate that he is feeling this way because of your mistake.

Allow him to vent

Allow him the space to vent, but do not allow him to be condescending, belittle you, or beat you up emotionally (or physically for that matter) about it. Understand that he has a right to feel harmed and he will likely have many emotions and thoughts surrounding the situation.

Allow him to share his thoughts and be sure to listen to him and validate them.

See also: What to do when you need to give him space

Be willing to change your behavior

a woman who broke her man's trustWhatever it is that you did, make sure that you do not repeat the same mistake. You may have made an impulsive choice that will likely not repeat itself due to circumstances. However, there is a chance that whatever it is that you did may happen again if you do not make some changes.

For example, if you were exchanging messages with a guy behind your boyfriend’s back that were inappropriate and compromised his trust in you, then you may have to: delete the number, remove the person from social media, be mindful of not being secretive with your phone, and possibly even allow your boyfriend to search your phone periodically to prove that you are not hiding anything (this last suggestion is tentative and I’d suggest proceeding with caution… but, some people are open to this).

See also: The truth about my men lie

Understand that this will take time

Trust is extremely difficult to restore once it is broken, compromised, or lost. Trust is arguably not even fixable, however, you can improve the situation. Be patient with the process and know that you are going to have to put great effort and time into riding out the process if you want your boyfriend to trust you again.

See also: Getting your boyfriend back if he ignores you

Try to help him move on

The goal is for you two to try to move on from this, so while you are actively following all of the steps above, try to manage your relationship so that it can move along normally.

Continue to talk about things other than the incident that leads you here, have fun together, make plans with each other, spend time with groups of friends, and try to keep things fun and light-hearted when you can.

If you can solidify other aspects of your relationship and make it feel good overall, it will help with mending the trust issues that currently exist.

See also: Getting him back if you broke it off – what you can do

Focus on yourself

Try to understand what caused you to make this decision and what purpose it may have selfishly been serving for you to disregard your boyfriend and his feelings during this time. Were you looking for attention? Were you trying to fill a void? Were you acting impulsively? What was going on for you during this time?

What can you do if you find yourself in a similar situation moving forward and how will you make a better choice the next time?

If you can continue to follow the guidelines above and commit to consistently implementing the strategies over a period of time, you will increase your chances of your boyfriend trusting you again. However, keep in mind that the trust may never go back to where it was depending on the severity of the situation and also your effort in trying to remedy the issue.

Be patient, be consistent, be understanding, and put in the effort it requires. If this relationship does not work out because of this, take what you have learned and apply it to a new relationship in the future.

Finally The Truth – Why Men Lie & Cheat, & How You Can Get Your Power Back

a man lying to his girlfriendHave you ever found yourself asking questions like, “why do men lie?” “why does he seem to always look at other women?” “Why has he cheated on me yet again..?!” “Is there fundamentally something wrong with men?” “Is there something fundamentally wrong with me..?”

These are some of the questions that world renowned relationship expert, Michael Fiore has been asked countless times by thousands of women desperate to know the answers. You, like me, may find that you relate to one or more of these questions.

Maybe you also have other questions yourself about men, the things they do, what they are really thinking and what they really want. It can be so frustrating when, as women, we give all we have to our relationship only to find that we have been lied to yet again, or worse…

Fortunately, I can tell you that there are answers (quite shocking answers actually) to these questions and many more similar questions that women have about men. Reassuringly, the answers are not likely to be what you think and fundamentally come down to a simple misunderstanding of women simply not being able to read and understand men.

Don’t feel hard on yourself, it’s not your fault. It’s a well-known fact that women and men think and act in very different ways. In fact, guys have the same problem when it comes to women, some might say worse when it comes to them trying to understand us!

So, how do I know all this and how am I so confident that it all comes down to basically, a lack of understanding of the deep wants, needs and thinking patterns of men? Because all this became revealed when highly sought after relationship expert, Michael Fiore stumbled upon the answers when he sent an email to his client base.

The Secret Survey – Our Review

Michael sent questionnaires to 4,000 men and women. He asked the women, “If you had telepathy and could read any man’s mind, what’s the one thing you would desperately want to know?” and to the guys, he asked, “What’s the one thing you desperately wish women understood about men but could never tell her?”

The answers to these two questions from thousands of men and women changed everything. Michael spent days going through the answers to his survey and decided to put his research together in a step-by-step program designed to help women not only understand men but to enable them to be able to read a guy like an open book. Michael’s goal is to empower women with the correct knowledge and understanding to enable them to have deep, meaningful relationships without the guy ever feeling the need to cheat or lie to her again.

Michael calls his course the Secret Survey and is an eight-step program that reveals exactly why men lie to the women that they love.

What’s in the Secret Survey Course?

Micheal Fiore’s Secret Survey course is an eight-step program that he has made available in video, audio and PDF format to make it as easy as possible for women to absorb, retain anThe Secret Survey about why men cheat course by Michael Fiored apply the information. Here’s an overview of the eight sections:

Section 1: Men Are Like Dogs And You’re A Bad Owner

In this first section, Micheal explains exactly why men are so difficult to understand. He explains how you should really be treating them and also discusses a concept called projective empathy, which is basically the ability to interpret exactly what is happening in the mind of a guy, even when he’s not entirely sure himself.

Section 2: Why Men Lie To The Women They Love

Women find it so confusing when the man who is supposed to love them is actually also often lying to them. In this section, Michael explains exactly why guys do this or feel they need to lie to their woman. Michael shares tricks and techniques that you can easily use to get him to start opening up to you about his true feelings so you can start to understand him better.

Section 3: Why Doesn’t He Compliment Me Anymore?

This is an oh so common complaint. Has this also happened to you? Has this left you wondering what could have possibly changed and if he still really has feelings for you at all. If so, then this section will answer all of your questions. Besides compliments, this section also covers how to create healthy and honest communication between you and your man and how to build a relationship with honesty.

Section 4: Does He Really Love Me?

In this section, Micheal discusses the topic of love and helps you get to the bottom of how he really feels about you. Micheal also gives you ways to find out what he says about you to other people when you’re not present.

Section 5: Other Women

Have you ever wondered why your man can’t just have eyes for you only? If you’ve often caught him looking at other women then this section will explain exactly why he does this, what he’s thinking when he’s doing it and how you can get the attention back all for yourself.

Want to watch a video of Michael explaining how he got the answers to all the questions that women desperately want to know, directly from his male client base? Click the video below.

Michael Fiore in the Secret Survey video

Section 6: The Truth About Cheating

In section six of the Secret Survey, Micheal talks in detail about cheating and the real reasons behind why men do this even when they love their woman. Michael then goes on to tell you how you can build a cheat-proof relationship so you can move forward knowing that you’ll likely never have a guy cheating on you again.

Section 7: Reflected Glory

In the Secret Survey, the term ‘reflected glory’ refers to the aspect of men that feel they want certain physical characteristics in a woman in order to show off to other people that they are with someone attractive. Michael here explains how you can know what he is really thinking of you and how significant your appearance really is to him.

Section 8: What He Really Wants In Bed

As a woman, we all want to be able to please and satisfy our man in bed. Being able to do so well will also help to make it less likely that he will cheat. In this section, Michael exposes the truth to exactly what men want in bed and how we can give it to them in a way that always keeps them coming back to us for more.

Secret Survey – Designed For Your Success

Michael Fiore has put the Secret Survey course together for you in a way that is designed to help you get the most out of it and really learn all the secrets about men that will enable you to be able to form a deep, loving connection with him that is both rewarding and fulfilling for both you and your man. As such, Michael has broken down each of the eight sections into videos each with two-four exercises for you to complete so you can really get the understandings of the course.

Bonus Material

Secret Survey by itself is a game-changer. However, Michael has also teamed up with other well-known relationship experts to offer you some great bonus material from experts such as Matthew Hussey, Eric Candal, Michael Griswold and Joshua Pellicer, to name but a few. The interviews with these experts cover topics such as how to become a strong, confident woman, how to always tell when someone is lying and more.

When you join the Secret Survey program you will receive an email from Michael giving you unlimited access to the member’s area. However, it is very important to go through the course step-by-step and do the exercises as Michael shows. For this reason, you will first have access to the first section on Men Are Like Dogs And You’re A Bad Owner.

Once you have watched this video and completed the exercise you will then be ready for the next section. So you can expect the other videos and sections to be made available to you every few days in order to give you enough time to spend on each module.

After the first month, you will have received all the videos. Michael wants to ensure that you get the most out of the training and finish the course with a newfound understanding of men, how they think and exactly what you need to do to have a successful, fulfilling relationship.

Secret Survey Advantages

  • The course has been created and presented by a world-renowned and very respected relationship coach. Michael has helped thousands of people improve areas of their relationship.
  • The Secret Survey is based on real answers collected from real people about their deepest wants, needs and desires.
  • The course is offered with a 60-day full money back guarantee. This gives you plenty of time to go through the course to see if it works for you, risk-free.
  • The course has real insights into men’s behaviour and allows women to peer into the minds of men.
  • The videos are funny, entertaining and well presented so are enjoyable to watch.
  • The course is a well thought out and easy to follow, step-by-step guide.

Secret Survey Disadvantages

  • You cannot access the whole content all at once. You will be drip fed the material over the first month to ensure you follow along step-by-step
  • Some of the concepts can be hard to accept as the course also requires you to look at your own behaviour in the relationship

Our Conclusion of the Secret Survey

Overall, we were very impressed with the Secret Survey course. It is well thought out, thorough, entertaining and most importantly, extremely effective. The course is based on real information from real clients surveyed and then analysed by a renowned relationship expert. The 60-day full money back guarantee also means that a person can try the course risk-free.

To watch Michael’s introduction video for the Secret Survey and watch him explaining the course to you himself, click the video below.

Michael Fiore in the Secret Survey video

How To Get a Man To Marry You – And Never Leave You

a man proposing to his girlfriendIf you’re in a relationship with a guy but it hasn’t yet progressed to marriage then you propably already know that getting a man to marry you isn’t always an easy thing.

In fact, this scenario may already be familiar to you: You are in a relationship with someone who you love and who you see a future with.

You may be at a point where you are fully ready for the next step of marriage, or if you aren’t quite ready yet, you may be thinking along those lines of moving forward at some point in the near future.

Below are some tips to guide you toward getting your man to marry you when you are ready.

See also: The exact secrets to getting him to propose

Work on yourself

Whether you are in a relationship or not, the most important thing you can do is to continually improve yourself in every aspect. Take care of yourself.

Exercise, eat (mostly) healthy foods, get enough sleep, put your best foot forward with your career, practice emotional regulation, invest time into your social world, and dedicate time to hobbies.

I firmly believe that the most attractive people are the ones who are the most well-rounded. If you are single, you will attract higher quality people by being a higher quality person yourself. If you are in a relationship, you will hold the interest of your partner and you will display the value you offer as an individual, which in turn, will make them want to lock it down with you.

If you are in a committed relationship with the hope of marriage coming around the corner this is even more important because any doubts or hesitancy your partner may be experiencing (which is all very normal), will be easily removed when they are continually reminded of how great you are and how much you continue to grow and become even better.

See also: The signs that a proposal is coming

Connect with his family

Connect with his family and put real, genuine effort into this. Marriage truly extends beyond marrying the person you will call your husband; it involves marrying his family and closest friends as well.

If you truly love this person, be open minded with accepting all of these people, flaws and all. Connecting with his family and/or closest friends will be monumental in his decision to marry you. If you think that these people do not have a say in his decision-making, you are mistaken.

Try to put any judgments and feelings to the side and try your best to be accepting of everyone who is near and dear to him. If you do not have to worry about difficult relationships, good for you!

Embrace them all – good, bad, and indifferent with open arms and understand that these people will play a vital role in your life.

Have a conversation early on

The first thing you MUST do in your relationship is to establish your future goals. Have a conversation to gauge if marriage is a goal for you both. Then, follow up with: do you both want kids? How many? Where do you want to settle down, if you want to at all?

This information is absolutely vital for both of you to determine if your goals are aligned or at least, similar. If you both have different visions of the future, you may need to consider if this relationship has the potential of continuing further. Find this information out early on.

Related article: 5 steps to getting your marriage proposal

Be clear

a man and a woman who have just got marriedNot to be confused with being aggressive, but it is important to be clear about what your expectations are as this will go a long way to protecting against needing to save your marriage later on. Also be fair in your expectations.

Be sure that before considering marrying someone that you both are on the same page with your long-term goals. Once you have that established, it is important for both of you to take the time to get to know each other.

It takes many years to truly know someone, so do yourself a favor and take the time without rushing into anything.

Once you feel confident that this is the person you want to be with, communicate those feelings. Share with them that a goal of yours is to be married and if you have a time frame in mind, share that with them as well.

When you share this, be open to flexibility. For example, say that you tell your partner you want to be engaged by the end of the year; it may be reasonable to be flexible in that by a year and a half to two years.

Meet your partner where he is

Understand his goals, his expectations, what he wants for himself long term and discuss those things. For men, it is typical that he will hesitate because of finances or career goals.

Have an open conversation about his concerns, hesitations, and yours as well. Try to find a happy medium that makes you both comfortable.

See also: The secrets to what guys want in a relationship

Meet each other halfway

Always, on everything – except for anything that compromises your core values. Compromise is an essential element of a happy, healthy relationship.

When you have the conversation solidifying that you both want to get married and when you both decide that your relationship has great potential for marrying each other, meet each other halfway in terms of what that process will be like.

Compromise on timing, finances, what the wedding day itself will look like, and what your future plans are. Express the things you want, but also be mindful and respectful of what your partner wants and meet each other halfway.

Once you have successfully accomplished the above tasks, you will be in a better position for marrying your husband to be. If you find that any of the above topics are an area of difficulty for you, try to be open-minded and understand the root cause of it. However, if you struggle with accomplishing the above tasks, you may have to reconsider if this is what you really want in the future.

How To Get Him To Fall In Love and Commit

a woman trying to get her man to commitSo often quality women feel “less than” because of the lack of validation from a man and they wonder – what makes a man commit?

If you are feeling like you are in this situation, continue reading below to understand the male psychology of love and get him committing to you and the relationship.

Work on being a whole, complete person

It is absolutely essential for you to take the time you need before being in a long-term relationship to make sure that you have healed from any situations of the past. Establish that you are comfortable being alone before you can ever start being in a relationship with someone else.

You must first be in a relationship with yourself to learn the things you love, the things you don’t, what your expectations are of those around you, what your boundaries and limits are, your interests, your strengths, and your weaknesses.

You must be complete without another person first. When you operate this way it will radiate through everything you do, which will draw the right men to you.

See also: Ways to make him fall in love with you

Be genuine

Being genuine goes such a long way in every relationship, romantic or not. When you have an ulterior motive, you will display signs of ingenuity and people will undoubtedly pick up on that. That’s why many women who find themselves being passive-aggressive have a tendency to push people away because it’s unattractive.

Being genuine doesn’t mean that you’re always rainbows and butterflies. It means you’re honest with yourself and those around you. There are no guessing games. You are straightforward with your thoughts and feelings without being aggressive or harsh about it.

People do not have to wonder about you or wonder if what you’re saying is actually what you mean because you say it how it is and you do so with style, class, and elegance. Most men hate guessing games and they hate passive-aggressiveness.

Just be straight to the point and he will appreciate your sincerity and conviction, even if it might not be what he wants to hear.

Related article: 12 signs your man really loves you

Be kind

This concept is wildly underrated. Just be nice! Don’t be too nice to the point where you’re walking around like Polly-Anna seeming fake, but remember that kindness goes a long way. Speak to everyone you encounter with respect and dignity.

Treat others equally, regardless of their status or “significance”. Just be a nice person. Be caring and supportive, understanding and validating. Don’t overdo it and don’t act in a way that feels unnatural.

Make the choice to display kindness and make sure you first are kind to yourself! A healthy, well-adjusted man will always be drawn to a warm, kind, loving woman because kindness is nurturing and represents care-taking and support.

Related article: This strange thing makes him adore you

Be independent

He wants to take care of you and he will, but he knows he doesn’t have to.

This is an extremely attractive quality for a man in today’s day and age because it makes him less pressured to have to take care of both himself AND you.

When he knows that he is with a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman he can rely on you too.

This is the ideal team relationship for two people. However, the more independent you are, the more he will WANT to take care of you and court you – be sure to let him do this. If you are TOO independent, it can be considered as “too masculine” for him, which can be unattractive.

Let him take you out, open the door for you, show his chivalrous side, pay for dinner, take you shopping, etc. But, make sure he knows that you can do all of those things on your own and you appreciate his wanting to do them for you instead.

a couple in a committed relationship

Show interest

Show interest in his family if he introduces you, in spending time with his friends, in hearing about his hobbies and his interests. When men feel like you care about the things that are important to him, he will see the value in you.

Again, make sure that you are genuine about this because if you truly don’t care, he will eventually see through that and it’ll crush his ego.

See also: What men want in a relationship

Set expectations and boundaries

Set expectations and boundaries in a considerate, respectful way. One of the most attractive qualities in another person is their ability to establish and communicate their expectations of themselves and others, as well as their boundaries that they set.

Expectations and boundaries are extremely important to establish, yet people often do not consciously do so. It is important to know what you will and will not tolerate and what you expect (reasonably) from others.

Someone who possesses this knowledge is attractive in his or her confidence. However, keep in mind that being TOO firm can also work against you.

While it is essential to stay true to values, it is also important to be flexible without compromising your integrity.

Related article: Keeping your man interested long-term

Be open

Be open with yourself and the relationship. Be open to trying new things, learning and having new experiences. Not only is this a great quality to have individually as it will help you to grow and become more well-rounded, but it is also a great quality that makes you more attractive.

When people are too rigid, they are often viewed as insecure or difficult. Being open is beneficial to you as an individual and it is also helpful in attracting the right kind of person for commitment.

While it is important to work on yourself and be flexible and open-minded, it is also important to protect yourself from people who have their own situations to work through that are separate from you, despite your greatest efforts.

Know your value, continue to improve your worth by refining yourself in every aspect, and most importantly: know when to walk away. Be proud, be confident, and protect yourself when someone is not able to commit because of issues that have nothing to do with you.

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