Knowing how to talk dirty to your boyfriend can actually make a huge difference to your relationship, improve your love life and build a deeper connection and sense of intimacy.
Guys love to hear naughty words and phrases coming from their girlfriend when behind closed doors. It can be a huge turn on and can also help to keep your man interested and hot for you in a long-term relationship.
I remember the first time a girlfriend started talking dirty to me, I was so shocked at first, but in a good way, a very good way! I was shocked mainly because I just wasn’t expecting it as she otherwise usually came across so sweet and innocent, lol! However, I found it a huge turn on, which soon led to a rather raunchy sex session once we were alone together. Ah, fond memories…
Anyway, knowing exactly what to say to a guy to turn him on and get him wanting you is a huge advantage for both of you and will certainly help to spice up your relationship.
However, many women seem to be very bad at this. Often, they will either say something that they think is hot, but is just not really sexy to a guy, or they will say it at the wrong time or with the wrong tonality, which kinda makes it drop like a lead balloon.
Most women have a girlfriend or someone they know who’s some sort of witch when it comes to turning guys on. A friend who has steadily fascinated a string of men that leave you somewhere in between jealous and amazed when watching her work.
The secret might not be anything at all to do with her looks or even her sexual repertoire. She might just be a master of dirty talk. Want to cultivate this skill yourself? This article will explain the how’s and the when’s of dirty talk.
How To Talk Dirty To A Guy
I’m sure you’re aware by now, that most women do not have this skill, no, far from it. I remember a story one of my guy friends told me about a girl he was dating way back in college. They had only gone out a few times and were in that, getting to know you stage. He was actually quite into her, that is, until she tried talking dirty to him. Tried and failed, poor lass!
As I recall the story, they were at her place sitting on the sofa chatting, when suddenly she awkwardly leaned in trying to talk with a more seductive tone and started talking about making babies and all that kind of stuff. Ladies, if you’re trying to turn a guy on, definitely DO NOT talk about babies, a big turn off for most guys!
He preceded to tell me about how she kept going for a few minutes without even realizing that she was actually having the opposite effect. Before long, he was totally cold to the idea of having sex with her, so the rest of the evening was just spent in a mediocre cuddle on the sofa while they watched a movie. They didn’t last very long as he just didn’t find her very attractive after that, despite her actually being what I would call quite a hot young lady. I’m sure that he probably had a few other reasons for not wanting to continue seeing her besides this, but her attempt at dirty talk certainly didn’t help!
I’m sure you can imagine how mortifying it would be to embarrass yourself in front of a guy like that and can probably feel her embarrassment by making this kind of fatal mistake.
This article will outline all the important points of talking dirty to a guy. However, if you really want to learn this art of naughty seduction properly and completely avoid any risk of embarrassment in front of him, but instead, be able to turn any man on as and when you choose, or to spice up your relationship with your boyfriend or husband to the point where you can get him wanting you like crazy, then click here now.
If you’re not wanting to master this properly and just want a few tips and pointers then read on.
Tips & Techniques for Talking Dirty To A Man
It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it
If you’re searching for specific naughty suggestions to make to your man, the Internet is stuffed almost to bursting with endless lists that will give you something to say.
However, the specific words you use don’t make nearly as much of a difference as you might think, though. Your attitude, your intentions, and the way you address your man will all mean much more in the end than your actual word selections.
For maximum impact on your guy, you need to get into a seductive state and speak slowly and softly when you’re filling your man’s head up with naughty suggestions.
Don’t bother trying to memorize the sexiest lines from your favorite shows and movies (and porn vids, if your tastes run that way). Instead, concentrate on the attitude and style that actresses use when they’re filming a seductive scene. Talking dirty to your man is your chance to become a super seductress yourself.
Using body language with dirty talk
This ties directly into the previous point: the non-verbal signals you send to your guy along with your choice dirty talk will end up doing far more to get your message across and inflame his passions than the syllables you speak. Be aware of what you look like to your man when you talk dirty.
It’s all about confidence; feeling that you are sexy and powerful with it will help you to convey the right energy in your message.
If you tell your boyfriend you want to be taken right here right now at breakfast, your tone and body language are going to mean the difference between a fit of laughter and some insanely naughty morning nookie.
If you mention it offhand while you’re dabbing cereal off your chin and scanning news updates on your phone, you’re headed into comedy territory.
Learn his turn-on’s when talking dirty
In the introduction to this piece, we mentioned that one friend you might have who seems to be a sorceress of smutty wordplay. Do you think she has one menu of nasty thoughts she uses over and over on every man she sleeps with? That is almost certainly not the case.
While you can get plenty of passion burning with generic smuttiness, your dirty talk should evolve and get more specific as your relationship grows and you learn more of your man’s intimate secrets.
Once you know what really gets your guy off, you’re armed with the exact verbal tools you need to drive him crazy.
Timing matters with naughty talk
As you probably noticed during that breakfast example described above, a significant chunk of what goes into successful dirty talk is timing.
Don’t try to force a sexy situation into existence with your words if all of the other signs are lining up against you. You and your guy just might come together (pun intended?) but it won’t be as satisfying as a more conveniently-timed encounter.
Don’t be afraid to use surprise to your advantage when you want to rev your guy up. One terrific thing about the male psyche is that it’s incredibly easy to divert down the road to sexy town.
Try sending him a suggestive text a half-hour before he leaves work, or calling him up and asking him for a little lunchtime phone frolic.
To learn more about this, you can read our article about How to talk dirty to your man with text messages.
Dirtiness is all in your mind
So far this article has managed to talk about talking dirty (constructively, you’d hopefully agree!) without descending into the world of four-letter words. However, there’s nothing wrong with using the sort of language that would shock your grandma when you’re talking to your man in private.
“Dirty words” and “dirty talk” are two bubbles that don’t necessarily ever have to intersect on your romantic Venn diagram. Once again, it’s more about how you say it than the specific words you use.
You may even find that avoiding the nastiest words gives your dirty talk a delicious open-endedness that inspires your guy to get creative with you.
Tempo is everything
Have you ever been having a conversation with someone, but then, for whatever mysterious reason… you just started to feel… so drawn in… by what they’re saying… and feel so captivated… as to what may come next…?
Being aware of and also being able to control your tempo when talking is a very subtle and powerful skill to learn.
When talking dirty to a guy, not only should you soften your voice tone, but you should also slow your tempo down. A great way to do this is to also insert pauses at strategic places in your sentences to get him leaning in and wondering what is coming next.
This is a great way to build intrigue and fascination and is surprisingly alluring.
You don’t need to wait for the bedroom to talk dirty to him
If you’re wanting to talk dirty to your man then you don’t need to limit yourself to the bedroom. Subtly slipping in dirty talk when you’re both at a restaurant together, for example, can be a tremendous turn-on.
Also, try it when the two of you are home together. If you’re doing it right then you may find him wanting to have you right then and there.
However, to be able to get this kind of reaction from a guy you’ll need to learn more than just a few tricks from this article, but instead, learn the kinds of things taught in Felicity Keith’s erotic course, The Language of Desire.
The Language of Desire was created through hours of research by Felicity Keith in order to be able to understand the sexual psychology of men and unlock the secret erotic language of the masculine mind. Felicity found that once she was able to do this she could give her man a more intense, connected and erotic experience, which would not only drive him crazy for her but would also put her at the center of his erotic obsessions.
Felicity teaches thirty-three powerful tricks and techniques that wake up the animal in a guy and fixate his attention and his hunger on you.
To learn more about the Language of Desire, click here now.
Kinky role play and dirty talk
Finally, let’s wrap up by discussing a little bit of a health and safety issue.
Getting into dirty talk with your boyfriend or husband can be a very sexually satisfying experience for the both of you, strengthen the bond the two of you have and bring you closer together. When you both start to get really comfortable talking dirty to each other and make it a frequent part of your sex life, you should bear in mind that talking dirty usually involves role-playing. You’re assuming a fantasy role to tease and excite your boyfriend, and inviting him to do the same.
Depending on what stage of your relationship you are in, you will probably have different levels of comfort and an idea as to how far you want things to go. Always remember that the purpose here is to stimulate and please each other.
If you’re both comfortable with it then you may also want to think about moving your dirty talk into a more fantastical form of roll play. For example, being the slutty nurse or the naughty housemaid might send his pulse rate skyrocketing.
Talk openly with each other to discover one another’s hidden fantasies and desires. If they’re something that you both feel comfortable with and turned on by then have fun experimenting with the rolls.
Even if you’re not into bondage, when it comes to role play, it may be a good idea to briefly discuss an emergency plan together before you start exploring your fantasies. Have a clear, decidedly non-sexy phrase you can both use if things are getting out of control. It’s not a fun way to end a session of dirty pillow talk, but it’s infinitely preferable to causing permanent disgust or offence.
Well, there’s your philosophical guide to the art of talking dirty. Engage your naughty creativity and come up with unique ways to stoke your guy’s fires.
DIRTY TALK HACK: As we said earlier, if you are not experienced with dirty talk then it can go one of two ways (just like his manly bits). If you don’t want it to go South, risk embarrassment or worse, then learn Felicity Keith’s powerful techniques from the Language of Desire. Find out more about it here.