Things were going great. You and your new guy were constantly texting back and forth. He was sending you, “Good morning” and “Goodnight” texts daily. He was initiating dates, and there was an undeniable connection between you…
But now? It’s just crickets…
You know in your gut that things just aren’t the same on his end. He’s not texting as much. He’s not asking you out, or if he does, it’s at the last minute. Ugh. Now, what..?
First, don’t panic. Sometimes guys blow hot and cold, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
All might not be lost between you and your new guy. With the below tips, you’ll be able to snag his attention again — or know whether you should kick him to the curb.
What to Do If He’s Lost Interest
Focus on You
If your guy is blowing hot and cold at the moment then it’s time for you to focus on you for a while.
Yes, we know it’s hard not to think about the guy who you’re really into, and it’s always harder not to think about him when he’s not talking to you…but that’s exactly why you should.
If he’s not actively pursuing you that’s a sign for you to return to your hobbies, interests, and friends that you might’ve neglected while you were in lovey-dovey land.
How does this bring him back? Well, you’ll be so into yourself that you’re not thinking about him — or texting him — and that might be enough to pique a man’s curiosity.
If you’re not texting him, he might wonder: who are you texting? Besides, if you don’t hear from him, then you really know your answer.
Related article: 7 ways to keep a guy interested in you long-term
Unless You’re Committed, Keep Thinking You’re Single
According to dating expert Mark Rosenfeld if you find that men lose interest in you after a few dates, then that usually stems from a fear of scarcity.
In his YouTube video, How To Keep A Guy Chasing (Why He Lost Interest And Stopped Chasing), Rosenfeld describes the pattern that most women fall into when they like a guy.
As he puts it, you stop acting single and you start mentally thinking he’s the one before he’s actually committed. Sound familiar..?
Because you’re already thinking you’re together, you become more anxious and fearful about your status and whether or not you’ve messed it up when you don’t hear from him.
When a guy feels this energy from you, he immediately backs away.
So, what to do?
Keep dating other men and keep an open mind about him and other men. Your energy will instantly elevate and relax, which will either attract him back or another man who’s better suited for you will come into your life.
Flip the Chase
A number of men back away when you’ve stopped yourself from being pursued, and in turn, become the predator. Men not only like the thrill of the chase but some can spook easily when you come off strong because they don’t know how to handle the attention.
So, what’s the solution to this?
According to dating expert Dr Ali Binazir, and author of “Tao of Dating,” you need to flip the chase back to him. He suggests sending a playful text making it known that you want to see him again but on your terms. Here’s an example:
“Hey, handsome. When are you going to take me out again?”
Then step back and wait for him to get back to you. Don’t send him another text until you’ve heard from him as double texting can really kill the attraction.
Instead, just wait for him t0 reply. Whether or not he responds with an invitation is all the info you need.
Related article: Fun ways to keep a guy interested through text
While you might be tempted to reach out multiple times, or send him a snarky text after a few weeks of no communication, it’s in your best interest to take the high road. Getting nasty will only make you look bad and it will send him further away, if not disappear altogether.
Don’t give him the satisfaction of being that “crazy woman” either. You’re better than that. Give him space and do you. For all you know, his dog died and he just needs some space right now. If that’s the case, he will appreciate you respecting it and being the self-sufficient woman you are.
When a guy loses interest, it can feel horrible. You will probably second guess yourself and wonder what you did wrong.
While it’s difficult not to take it personally, that’s what you need to do. Most of the time when a guy loses interest, there’s nothing you could’ve done differently. Either you weren’t a good match or he wasn’t the man for you. Because the man who is meant for you will not lose interest. And even if he does disappear for a while, he will always return.
When he does come back, the man for you will show up consistently with the intention of moving forward you in a committed relationship with you. Demand nothing less. You’re worth it!