The beginning stages of dating come with many emotions and questions. While it is new and exciting to learn about someone, you often feel like you want to know everything about them and you want to know it fast!
However, it is also important to enjoy the process of getting to know someone.
Getting to know someone steadily over time helps to feed the flames of interest and intrigue.
If you find out everything about them too quickly, and similarly, they with you, then you may find the attraction starts to fade before you’ve established a strong connection.
With that said, in order to do get to know your new love interest effectively, there are a number of topics you can ask him to both understand and get to know him better.
Seven Questions To Ask a Guy You Like
- 1 Seven Questions To Ask a Guy You Like
Ask questions about his family
Ask him questions to understand who is in his family, what the dynamics are, and how he speaks about them.
The way a man speaks about the people who are important in his life is extremely telling for how he will treat you if the relationship progresses.
When it comes to his female relationships, it is vital to pay attention to the way he describes his mother and any sisters or other female relatives and close friends.
It is also important to try to hear how the relationships are between him and those people. It is great if he describes his mother in a loving way, but if she is his pride and joy, she could become jealous of you.
If he describes her in an unloving way, it could be a flag that he does not have a lot of respect for women. There are hundreds of possibilities of social dynamics, so the more you ask and the more you listen, the more you will piece it all together.
Related article: Eight conversation starters for couples
Ask questions about his friends
Who a person is friends with says a lot about them as a person. If he seems to have a lot of friends, but not many close friends, this can be a sign that he may have some walls up when it comes to getting close or some other struggles with formulating close intimate relationships with people.
Conversely, if he has a few close friends regardless of the number of friends who are not as close, it shows that he is good at formulating and maintaining relationships.
The way he talks about his friends also says a lot about him as a person. Does he speak highly of them? Does he tell you about their positive qualities? Or does he use a combination of descriptors, both positive and negative?
If he puts any of his friends down for any reason that is typically a red flag! It can show signs of insecurity and also that he does not have respect for his friends – which means he definitely won’t have respect for you.
Details about the friends themselves also tell you a lot of information. What do they do when they hang out? Do they watch sports and relax? Do they go out partying every weekend? Are his friends single or in relationships?
If his friends are mostly single and going out often, it is not a great sign for you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to settle down, but it will be difficult for him to balance friends who are in a different place with a relationship. However, if the majority of his friends are in relationships, it is likely that he is looking for that too.
See also: How to seduce a guy with your words
Ask questions about how he spends his time
Does he have a variety of interests and hobbies? Is he constantly working or doing work when he isn’t? How does he like to spend his time? Does he like a lot of alone time, to be with others or a combination? What does he like to do for fun? Go out to eat, party, go to shows, stay in and relax, play sports, shop or perhaps play video games?
Getting an idea of how he likes to spend his spare time will also be very revealing. From this, you will get a sense if he is more introvert or extrovert and what kind of social skills he has.
Ask questions about travel
Asking him questions about where has he travelled is a fun and interesting topic of conversation and will also tell you a lot about his interests and experiences of life.
What have been his best and worst experiences when travelling and why? Asking about the most enriching, life-changing moments from travel will also give you a good insight into what is important to him on a soul level.
Continuing the conversation with questions such as where would he like to go and what the ideal vacation looks like to him will also give you a good idea of your travel compatibility with him.
Does he prefer to sit on the beach, party or relax on vacation? Or, does he like to sightsee, hike, and be adventurous? How do his travel plans or dreams align with yours? How are they different? Does he prefer to stay in 5-star hotels, or does he like to use Airbnb or stay in hostels?
Not only will these questions be very revealing of his character, but they will also help you to understand the compatibility you have with him.
Asking about his travel experiences, plans, and dreams, can give you a lot of information into how well-rounded (or not) he is, how flexible or rigid he may be, and how he spends (or doesn’t spend) his money.
Ask questions about his bucket list
What are some things he has already done? What else is on his list to do? Why are these important to him? What is something he would love to do, but is too afraid to try? What is it about the key moments of the things that he has already done on his list that made the experience so fulfilling?
Again, these kinds of questions help to reveal what is truly important to him at a soul level.
Questions about his goals and aspirations
Asking him about his goals will give you a good indication of his ambition and also his self-esteem.
If he has rather lofty goals, for example, then it can be a great indication of good self-esteem. However, if he has had that goal for years and has still not taken action to make it happen then he may be just a dreamer.
Getting an idea of both his personal and professional goals will tell you how career-orientated (or not) he is. It’s fine if a person has more personal goals than career goals, it just indicates that personal growth and fulfilment is more important to them than their career.
Asking him about where he sees himself in three, five and ten years time is also a great question to find out his ambition and aspirations.
Ask questions about his fitness
Health and fitness is a growing concern for the majority of people. However, there are also some people that just don’t seem to give a damn.
So, asking him questions about health and fitness is a great way to learn about how important this aspect of life is to him and will help you to further understand your potential compatibility.
Does he like to work out? What does he like to do to de-stress? What kind of self-care does he partake in? Is he open to new experiences or does he like to stick to his routine? Does he have a weekly fitness routine? What would he like to change about the routine he has and of course, what are his health and fitness goals?
There are many questions you can ask a guy to get to know him on a deeper level, to find out what makes him tick and to help give you an idea of your compatibility. And these seven conversation topics are a great place to start.
However, remember when you are having a conversation with someone new, don’t bombard them with a million questions all at once, or he will feel like he is being interrogated. It’s absolutely fine, in fact, it’s better not to ask all these questions and more on the first meeting. Spread it out over time and enjoy the “getting to know you” process.
Besides asking him questions to get to know him, always bear in mind that a good conversation is a two-way street. So share your experiences with him as well, so he can also get a flavour of you.
Suzanne is a certified counselor with 6 years of experience working with individuals of diverse backgrounds and age groups. In addition to working full time as a School Counselor servicing students ages K-12, Suzanne began a side business in 2014 geared toward providing relationship and individual counseling services for adult clientele. She has worked with an extensive range of individuals helping them gain insight, foster changes, and continue to grow. She has acquired a wealth of information about relationships through her professional and personal endeavors and finds great value in sharing what she has learned.