If you’re feeling the pain of losing your boyfriend and you desperately want him back, then it can be all that you can think about to plot and plan a way to get him back into your life.
However, what if he has already moved on to pastures new? What if he has already found a new woman and ‘seems’ to be moving on with his life without you? Are your chances of ever getting back with him doomed forever?
Maybe not, but the first thing you need to do is to find out how he feels about you. If you want to discover if he secretly wants you back, watch Mirabelle Summers’ revealing but shocking video now.
My Ex Has A New Girlfriend, Can I Still Get Him Back?
If this has happened to you, then you are probably feeling a range of emotions. One of the things that you are probably feeling is a perceived need to get him back.
However, with the new woman in the frame, spend some time questioning your feelings to discover whether you are really wanting him back for ‘him’ or are you really just upset that he seems to have moved on and you have not? It may also be your ego getting in the way because he has a new woman.
So the first step is to ask yourself honestly if you really want him back for the right reasons.
Do You Need to Get Him Back?
The next thing you need to consider are the reasons around the break-up. There are many reasons why a couple may break up, more than can be discussed in just one post.
If there was no foul play involved and you are desperately feeling like there is now a big void in your heart and that you really want to get him back, and your reasons for wanting him back are genuine, then you have the right to fight for the man you love.
More Help: Getting Over The Breakup and Moving On
Did you wrong him?
If however, you have wronged him in some way, then the first thing you need to do is apologize for any wrong doing that you have caused him and show him that you genuinely are sorry.
This, of course, will not necessarily be enough to win him back by itself, but it is a step in the right direction. He most likely will appreciate you having the courage and the decency to admit the fault, and you will gain some measure of respect back from him not to mention self-respect for having the courage to try to put things right.
If things really have gone too far then at least you can aim for remaining friends or at least finally parting on good terms.
Did he wrong you?
If he was the one who wronged you, but you still feel that you want him back in your life, you firstly need to question if his behaviour can be forgiven and if it challenges your values on a deep level.
If it is something that you can forgive, then the two of you need to have a mature conversation without emotions getting in the way. However, make it clear that you have standards and won’t allow him to treat you badly again. You don’t want him to think you are a doormat.
If however, the thing that he did does violate your core values and you feel like he may do it again and doesn’t show much genuine sign of remorse, then he really isn’t worth your time, and you would likely be better off without him.
How quickly did he get together with his new woman?
This is quite an important point to consider, as if it was reasonably quickly after the two of you split, it may cause you to question how serious were his feelings about you when the two of you were together.
If this is the case, then a question you should ask yourself is why you want to get back with someone who walked out on you and got a new girlfriend faster than you could blink your eyes? You may have never had him in the first place if leaving you for someone else was such an easy thing for him to do.
Your high perceived need to “get him back” may just be your pride in action. Perhaps you simply do not want to throw away your emotional investment or let go of the dream you had for your lives.
Then, you should ask yourself, “will getting him back will truly make you happy?” Is he really all that, or are you yearning for something much deeper? Ask yourself if he was really fulfilling needs when you were a couple or was he just filling the role of ‘boyfriend’?
If it is the latter, then it may be time to move on. Use this experience with him as something to learn from as you will now know more accurately what you truly do want in a man, and what you do not.
So, are you still really wanting this guy back in your life? If the answer is yes, then firstly you need to take Mirabelle Summer’s simple test to discover if it will actually be possible for you to get him back. Take the test here.
How Do You Get Him Back?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Abandoned women do all sorts of crazy things, but that does not mean that such things will actually work. You can try a few different tactics if you’ve read the first part of this, and you still want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend.
When the going gets tough, though, and you’re feeling in a state of desperation and despair, many women resort to the following:
1. Crying to him
2. Pleading with him
3. Stalking him
4. Pestering him with phone calls and text messages
5. ‘Coincidentally’ showing up where he is
Ladies, I’m afraid none of these tactics will work, and are more likely to push him away even more and reaffirm his decision to finish things with you.
Other tactics women try are:
6. Start dating other men
7. Ignore him
8. Find happiness without him
The sixth tactic will most definitely push some jealousy and insecurity buttons if he is still into you. Although it is healthy for you to get out and meet other people if you are now single, and you will certainly want him to know that you are not sitting at home every Saturday night pining for him, you should also not rub his face in it.
Letting him know subtely that you are getting out and enjoying yourself is the best way to go.
The seventh tactic does not work if your ex is seeing someone else. If he is getting attention from someone new, then he most likely will not care if you ignore him because he has another woman who is paying attention to him.
The eighth tactic should be more of a goal for you than a tactic. You can spend some time alone getting to know who you are and what your real purpose is in life and what will truly make you happy. You may find happiness along the way. He might want to come back at that time, but you may not be so willing to oblige.
Regardless, doing some soul-searching, becoming comfortable with who you are, being comfortable, confident and secure in yourself even without a relationship and learning what is important to you in life will not only give you a new strength, it will also make you more attractive as a person.
What if His New Girlfriend Doesn’t Let Him Talk to You?
It is quite possible that your ex will tell you that his new girlfriend won’t let him talk to you. This, for the most part, will be bullshit unless his new girlfriend has the mental maturity of a five-year-old or is deeply insecure. Most mature women will understand that it is normal that you may at some point need to see your ex to discuss a few things.
Secondly, one can tell him what to do unless he has a little boy mentality, and he wants his girlfriend to act like his mother. Ew. “She won’t let me talk to you” is a cop-out. It shows deep insecurity on the part of the new girlfriend and a lack of a backbone in your ex.
You may question whether you want to get your ex-boyfriend back if he turns out to be spineless..?
How Do You Get Him To Meet You?
You cannot make a man do anything. You have two options if you would like to meet with him: tell him the truth, or do something wacky. Personally, I would suggest the first option.
Some women, however, like to stage emergencies, make false threats or promise things that they cannot deliver just to get their ex to meet up with them. These tactics will only make you look a little crazy, and any sane man will start to feel glad that he distanced himself from you.
If you want to meet him, don’t be afraid to say so. You may feel a little vulnerable doing this, but there is great strength to be found in vulnerability, and he will likely appreciate your honesty if he is not a jerk.
What Do You Say to Him in Texts?
Text messages can be a powerful weapon in getting your ex-boyfriend back into your life. However, they can be easily misconstrued so it is imperative that you text the right things at the right times.
To learn how to send the kind of text messages, that will make him think about you in that special way again and make him question whether the two of you should be together, read our article on How to text your ex back into a relationship.
How Do You Make Him Leave His Girlfriend?
Well, you can’t really make him do anything, per say, but you certainly can use the tactics mentioned above to cause him to question whether the two of you are really meant to be together.
Re-establishing that bond with him over time and letting him see all the wonderful things about you that he fell in love with in the first place is a great way to go.
You firstly need to establish that contact and build the trust between the two of you again. If there are any feelings at all on his part, then it may be possible for you to rekindle that flame and stoke it into a happy fire once more.
Should I use the No Contact Rule?
The no contact rule is generally for the first thirty days following the breakup. If you have already gone past this stage, and you want to get back together with your ex boyfriend, then you should start to use the above methods to re-establish contact in a subtle and unassuming way.
The no contact period gives you both that much needed time to reflect on your relationship, what went wrong, how you can avoid these things in the future and discover what it is you truly want from a relationship.
The no contact rule also helps you to avoid looking desperate or needy by trying to contact your ex every five minutes. Having this break will give the two of you time to cool off and reflect.
If you feel that a mistake has been made, and you genuinely feel that you want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, then you have every right to fight for your love, even if he has a new girlfriend. After all, this really may be the guy that you are truly meant to be with.
Take the test right now to discover if you really do have a chance of getting back together with him.
Then, take the steps to re-establish the connection with him in an unassuming way and don’t be pushy, needy or emotional.