After a breakup, some people tend to promise each other that they will still be friends going into the future. However, it is not unusual to see two people who were once love birds ignoring each other.
If you have broken up with your ex-boyfriend and attempts to communicate with him are bearing no fruits, then it would help to first find out why he has been ignoring you. From here, you can then start to take steps to try to get him back into your life, at least as friends if that is what you are wanting.
In this article, I am going to help you understand some of the reasons your ex-boyfriend could be ignoring you and what you can do to get him back when he is ignoring you.
- 1 Reasons Why Your Ex-boyfriend Might Be Ignoring You
- 1.1 You are putting him off by texting him and calling him incessantly
- 1.2 You are acting desperate
- 1.3 He has moved on
- 1.4 He still cares about you
- 1.5 Give him some space
- 1.6 Avoid begging him to come back to you
- 1.7 Show him you do not need him
- 1.8 Practice the no contact rule
- 1.9 Re-invent yourself
- 1.10 Create your own happiness and keep yourself busy
Reasons Why Your Ex-boyfriend Might Be Ignoring You
You are putting him off by texting him and calling him incessantly
If you had agreed to keep in touch after the breakup, it is important to note that you could be suffocating your ex by always calling and texting him. This can feel stifling for guys and sooner or later he will just stop replying. He might feel like you are harassing him and therefore, just decide to shut you out of his life completely. It would be advisable to just let him be by giving him a break.
If you have noticed that his replies to your texts were getting shorter and more abrupt with less or even no emojie’s before the dreaded radio silence came about, then chances are this could be why he’s ignoring you.
You are acting desperate
As a woman, one big mistake is to show your ex-boyfriend that you feel that you are nothing without him. A guy is likely to ignore you if he realizes that you are acting desperate and needy towards him. Telling him you miss him, liking all his pictures and comments on Facebook and Instagram, telling him you want him back into your life, or calling him and texting him incessantly are all things to be avoided if you have broken up. It is important to note that no guy wants a girl who is too needy and acts out of desperation.
He has moved on
If your ex-boyfriend has been ignoring you, then it is possible that he has moved on. I know this is the last thing you would want to hear if you’re wanting to get back together with him, but it is very possible that he is doing it because he probably does not want to disrespect his newly found girlfriend.
Related Article: The most powerful breakup recovery advice ever?
He still cares about you
Many women tend to think that an ex-boyfriend is ignoring them because he no longer has feelings for them or he no longer cares. On the contrary, your ex-boyfriend could be ignoring you because he might still be deeply in love with you and to ignore you could just be a tactic he is using to help him cope with his feelings. If you realize that he is not responding to your texts or calls, the best thing you could do is to give him space and allow him to first heal from the breakup. This is one reason the no contact rule can be so effective (see below).
Here is a great video from coach Adrian with some tips on how you can get your ex to stop ignoring you.
The above reasons are some of the most common reasons why your ex could be ignoring you. This next section below will focus on things you can do to get him back when he seems to be ignoring all communication from you.
Give him some space
If your ex-boyfriend has been ignoring you and you really want him back, it is important that you give him space, as hard as this might be in practice. By giving him space, it might make him realize how much he misses you and he might then decide to contact you. In addition, the fact that your ex-boyfriend is ignoring you means that he wants space. If you keep fighting for his attention, he will likely pull away even more. Giving him space can feel extremely difficult, but it is important that you do so.
If you’re not quite sure about leaving him alone just yet, see our article here on five clear situations where you need to give him space.
Avoid begging him to come back to you
As I had said earlier, men do not like women who act needy and desperate, and begging for love will make him totally withdraw. Therefore, if you really want to get your ex boyfriend back then do not beg him to give the relationship a second chance because this is very unlikely to work and will also cause him to lose a little respect for you. In addition, begging him to get back with you is also likely to damage your self-respect and self-esteem, especially if he rejects your pleas.
Show him you do not need him
If you are still wondering how to get your ex-boyfriend back when he ignores you, the next option would be to show him that you do not need him. It is important to understand that people tend to want what they feel that they cannot have. Therefore, by making your ex-boyfriend realize that he no longer has you, he might be tempted to get back to you. By ignoring him, you make him change his attitude towards you, and the feeling that you are slipping away from his life could make him want to get back in touch with you again.
See also: How to tell if he misses you
Practice the no contact rule
Your ex-boyfriend has probably become so used to you sending him texts, calling him, letting him know what you are up or even letting him know how you feel. If that describes what has been going on with you, then you are losing a lot of credit and self-worth, and it is about time you stopped doing it.
The no contact rule means that you need to cease all communications and contact with him for a period of thirty days. This includes calling him, texting him, liking his social media posts or “coincidentally” showing up where you know he will be. This also means you cant get a friend to give him a message or send a friend to spy on him and report back to you.
If you can practice the no contact rule, it restrains you from convincing your ex-partner that he is making a wrong decision by not being your man. What’s more, the no-contact rule helps you to regain your self-esteem and the respect of your ex-boyfriend, and it also keeps you from fighting with your ex-boyfriend. During this time, both of you get the chance to reflect and gain insights on what you want and chances are that after clear reflection, you could reconcile with your ex-partner. Not only does this technique give the both of you some much needed space, it can also cause him to start to miss you.
If you’re having the opposite issue with your ex, meaning that you are trying to apply the no contact rule, but he is still trying to keep in contact with you, then read relationship expert, Avelon B Mcnae’s article on no contact here.
You could re-invent yourself by looking healthier, getting in shape or perhaps even learning a new skill. Not only does this help to boost your self-esteem, it will also let your boyfriend know that you can cope on your own without him and it may even cause him to doubt breaking up with you.
You could re-invent yourself by changing your wardrobe, going to the gym, and getting a new look that you know he will probably be in to. By re-investing yourself, you are embracing change and this is a good move towards getting your ex-boyfriend back. Afterall, if you broke up then the chances are that either you or he or both of you were not happy with how things were before and a change of pace can help the both of you to view things potentially being different in the future.
Create your own happiness and keep yourself busy
Men tend to be attracted to women who are happy on their own. If you stop acting desperate and needy by creating your own happiness, your ex-boyfriend might realize that you do not depend on him to be happy and this might make him reconsider getting back with you.
In addition, as you practice the no contact rule, remember to keep yourself busy. This will make your boyfriend wonder what you are up to and he might even decide to pursue you once more if he still has feelings for you.
Susan Thiong’o has been working in the field of counseling psychology for over 10 years. Her diverse educational background and work experience in Psychology and Counseling has given her a broad base from which to approach many topics such as parenting, relationships, and mental health.
In her years as a counseling psychologist, she has written various articles in the areas of marriage and relationship issues, mental health issues, addictions, stress, personal growth and developmental issues, parenting, adolescent issues, HIV/AIDS among other topics.