American Dating Society
The Psychology Of Making A Guy Fall In Love
Getting a guy to fall in love with you is not always as easy as it sounds. While some guys can fall head over heels for a woman’s looks, most guys want qualities that go beyond just the physical side of a woman.
Don’t get me wrong, looking your best is always gonna help to get a guy’s attention and if you’ve got a great, fun-loving attitude then he’ll likely enjoy your company too.
However, the key to getting a man to fall in love with you comes down to two things. Number one, being able to trigger the emotions that make him feel love, fascination and connection. And number two, being able to communicate with a guy in a way that speaks directly to the more primitive, desire-driven part of his brain as a relationship coach, Amy North demonstrates in this video here.
Understanding the actual process of falling in love will also help you to be able to trigger this process in another person.
For example, a good place to start understanding it to take a closer look at your own current beliefs about love. For example, what do you believe right now about love? Do you believe you have no control over it, or that love is a matter of fate?
Is it your perception that when a guy doesn’t love you from the start that he never will?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then chances are you are likely someone who simply believes in fate, chance, and luck. You are not alone! Most people believe that love cannot be controlled or changed.
However, there has been extensive research done that proves otherwise.
While we experience states such as love, fascination, connection, desire and even infatuation as an emotion, there is actually a predictable and repeatable process that triggers each of these states. If you know and understand the process then you can trigger it in any guy at will.
While I will share some info about these processes in this article, relationship coach, Amy North shows you exactly how to do it from start to finish on her website here.
What you need to understand is that love is just another emotion with a process that we actually do to ourselves in response to a trigger. For example, the trigger might be meeting a person who meets our internal map of our ideal lover.
This “map” is often buried deep in our sub-conscious and is basically a list of all the qualities and values we would want our dream lover to possess.
It is indeed possible to gain some degree of influence over love just by triggering a person’s love process.
However, where we run into difficulty is with the perceptions and beliefs that we’ve amassed over the years. We are typically taught that love is completely out of our control and is simply a matter of fate, which just isn’t true.
We now know that reality tells a different story. If you learn the psychology of making a person fall in love with you, your love story can be created. Of course, there is no 100% guarantee of creating feelings of love towards you in every person. However, you will be able to dramatically improve your chances of doing so. So why not give it a try?
A. How and Why We Fall in Love
- 1 A. How and Why We Fall in Love
- 2 B. How to Use Psychology to Ensure Your Love is Reciprocated
Before learning how to make someone fall in love with you, you need to examine the psychology of love. Making a guy fall in love with you is not done through magic potions or chanting sessions under the moon.
You may not realize it, but you, along with everyone else, has a hidden checklist in your mind. You have a set of criteria that a love interest must have before you can fall in love with them. The psychological term for this is “Lovemap.”
If a person fails to meet any points on your list, you immediately, though likely unconsciously, disqualify them from your list of potential loves. In such an instance, you will probably just remain friends with that person.
Each person has a unique checklist. The checklist is based on your values, your beliefs, your past experiences, your background and your previous relationships.
This is also the reason your friend’s significant other or love interest may seem just ordinary to you. Remember; she has the unique love map she’s reading. The mind calculates our love map for us. It is a subconscious act, just like when our brain sends a message for our heart to beat. Since our love map is created subconsciously, we may not understand exactly why we fall in love with the person we do.
As a result, we view love as a mystery and often attribute it to destiny. However, this is not the case. It is all related to the way our subconscious minds work. If you grow your awareness of your subconscious mind’s criteria, you can quickly figure out why you fall in love with a particular type of person. You can then use this information to begin to understand what fulfils another person’s love map.
A love connection will only happen when your checklist is met or when a potential partner sees that you meet their criteria. As a result, your subconscious will keep you in love with that person. It will help you to understand them and will keep you two in love and on a solid foundation in your relationship.
Since your subconscious grabs onto that person specifically, you often find it challenging to let go of that love even years later.
B. How to Use Psychology to Ensure Your Love is Reciprocated
Below are a series of methods, tried and tested, that can make a guy fall in love with you. Learning what makes a guy fall in love will really improve your chances of catching the guy you have set your sights on.
Ensure that You Meet His Criteria
Everyone has the list of criteria, a.k.a. The love map in our heads. The list has our basic expectations for the person we meet as a love interest. It’s certainly not guaranteed that we will immediately fall in love with a person we meet who checks off all the boxes we’ve created.
However, if they don’t meet any of those criteria, it is highly unlikely we will fall in love with them. That’s true for the other person, too. Some examples of those criteria might be: “He must be intelligent,” “he must like hiking,” etc. Before trying to use the psychology of making a guy fall in love with you, make sure there’s that potential.
Research his interests and general background. The more you can learn, the more your likelihood of success.
Besides this, there are also universal traits, qualities and characteristics that every man, whether they realize it or not, are looking for in a woman.
However, the key to getting a man to desire you, want to be with you and even fall in love with you comes down to simply being able to trigger his process for love and desire. You can learn exactly how to do this here
Figure out what needs have not yet been met and fill those needs
People looking for partners are typically looking for similarities. For instance, they want to see similar strengths to their own. On the other hand, they want someone with strengths they do not possess.
For example, they may struggle with confidence, so they’ll look for someone who exudes confidence. So, if you know, that’s an issue for the one you love, work on your confidence. Working on that confidence will send a message to them.
Are you trying too hard?
While many people believe they have to be persistent and continually chase after their love interest. However, this can have adverse effects. Such persistence can also put a person off. You might come off as too needy. Also, if a person does respond well to such persistence, it could create an unhealthy, dependent relationship.
So, while you certainly want to speak up for your interest in the guy, you don’t want to obsess over him or make him think you are desperate.
See also: How To Tell If A Guy Loves You
Connect through mutual friends
If you share friends with the guy you are in love with, so much the better. You can discuss the things you like about your common friends. Talk about how you met them, what bonded you and all that jazz.
When you speak about these things with him, you will wire that information into his brain. This will help you to stay fresh in his mind and give you a better chance of getting him to fall in love with you.
Get inside his head
The best way to do this is through repetition. So, if you mention something about you that piqued his interest, make it a regular topic of conversation.
The continual conversation will stick in the subconscious part of his mind. It doesn’t mean call them or find them every few minutes just to talk about it.
However, if you do have opportunities to connect with him in this way, you are likely to be successful.
If you are shy about talking to him, you could ensure you are in his periphery on a regular basis (not so often that you appear to be stalking him, or that will certainly backfire, big time!) However, when you see him around, show him a smile, he’ll more than likely smile back and stick in his mind throughout the day.
If you want to accelerate the whole process and trigger his desire process then next time you speak to him, casually drop these words into the conversation.
Get him to associate you with other positive things in his life
How do people respond when your name is mentioned in a crowd? Do they think of you as happy or fun or do they associate you with something negative like constant complaining?
Do your best to create a positive image in everyone’s minds. This will easily translate to a positive image in his mind. While we know everyone has negative attributes, focusing on the positive is a better way to create good perceptions of you among your peers. This, of course, includes the guy you are hoping will fall in love with you.
Does love at first sight really exist?
It sure does. If you meet a guy, and right away he meets your love map criteria, you could very well fall in love with him right away. You might be wondering how that’s possible if you’ve never spoken to them.
Sometimes physical attributes or the way they carry themselves meet significant aspects of your list. It could very well happen if the way they act, look, etc. brings up images of someone else with whom you have positive associations.
Not surprisingly, a classic example of such an association is when you meet someone who brings memories of someone you’ve loved before. Our lives are often made up of patterns. One such pattern is how we choose the people we fall in love with. We tend to fall in love with similar people.
So, if you see a guy who looks like one you’ve loved before, you may very well find yourself falling in love with him. It is unlikely that you’ll immediately be aware of the reasons you’ve chosen this particular guy. You will likely think of it simply as fate, chance, or fluke.
Of course, the psychology of making a guy fall in love with you is rather complex. However, these tips should give you a good start.
Pay attention to your patterns and highlight your positive attributes.
Also, keep an eye out for his personal desires and what his patterns are. Talk about your mutual interests and friends. Ask him what else he likes to do and start learning about the things that make him tick. Keep in contact, but don’t loom over him.
You don’t need to rely on guess-work to get him to have feelings of desire and even love for you. Just casually say these words to him and watch his pupils dilate as he starts to see you through the eyes of love.