By Nick Bastion
Texting your ex-boyfriend can be an extremely tricky endeavor to take on, especially because there are no clear “ground rules” on what to do and what not to do.
That’s why I want to take you through the biggest mistakes you can make so that you don’t have to go through the difficult situation of making them and then regretting it right afterward.
(And if you’re looking for the perfect text responses if your ex texts YOU, you can check my article on the subject here.)
So let’s delve into it.
Related article: Text Your Ex Back Into A Relationship
Mistake #1: Contacting Him Right After A Breakup
First of all, before even delving into more specific mistakes, I want to address one point: the importance of “no contact.”
No contact means exactly what you would think; if you have just broken up with your ex, don’t contact him for at least a month. Give yourself this breathing room to truly collect your thoughts, make yourself comfortable and let go of the emotional intensity that’s going to show up if you text right after a breakup.
The reason why texting him right after a breakup is so important is because when you do it in an extremely emotional state, you’re going to end up giving off a needy vibe. Neediness essentially means “needing” the other person to respond to you in a certain way in order to feel OK and remotely relaxed.
Even if you try to pretend to not be “needy,” it won’t help. The thing about neediness is that it comes from within you. It’s a vibe that you give off, something you have to feel in the privacy of your own mind and definitely not in front of him if you want to get him back in your life.
So when you adopt the no contact rule, you give yourself enough room away from the situation to bridge the gap between where you are right now and the right state of mind you need to be in to text your ex. This ties into the second biggest mistake.
See also: Flirting With A Guy Through Text
Mistake #2: Texting Him With The Mindset That If He Doesn’t Respond You Will Be Devastated
This mindset is literally going to set you up for such massive disappointment it’s scary.
The way you have to view texting your ex is that you are going to text him but with the feeling that you will be 100% OK if he does not respond or if he does not respond well. No matter how he responds or whether he simply doesn’t respond you will be OK.
This is going to give you the best shot of actually making him want to text you back because when you genuinely have no vested interest in the outcome of him responding, you are going to give off a happy, comfortable vibe which men are drawn to.
Related article: Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Reply To Your Text Messages
Mistake #3: Sending Him Multiple Messages Without Him Responding
This is a huge and super common mistake that so many women make.
You know what I am talking about. Basically, you text him once and you don’t get the response you want, which instinctively makes you feel like you need to text again just to find out what on earth is going on.
So you text again and he doesn’t text back. Then you get even more frustrated and let your emotions get the best of you, which only makes it worse.
Instead of ending up caught up in this cycle, always remember to not send multiple texts if he hasn’t responded.
First wait for a reply and then you can respond. He might simply be busy or he might not be ready to talk yet. No matter what the reason is, by continuously texting you literally sabotage any future shot at making him want to text back.
It’ll give off a very needy vibe and push him away tremendously. Let the conversation be happy, natural and fun instead.
So there you go. Here are the three biggest mistakes women make when texting their ex. Even if you’ve made one or all of these don’t worry it’s human. Now you are armed with this knowledge that will prevent you from doing anything that will sabotage you in the future.
About The Author: Nick Bastion is a dating and relationships expert with over 10 years of experience helping men and women have the love lives they’ve always wanted. You can find more of his writing at www.vixendaily.com in the Love and Relationships section.