By Nick Bastion:
I know how frustrating it can be when you text a guy and are in an excited, happy mood anticipating his reply… only to be met with… radio silence.
Nothing, no response. What went wrong? You ask yourself why you didn’t see this coming? What is his problem? Most importantly, how should you make him stop ignoring you?
This is an extremely common dynamic that happens between men and women. Sometimes it is the man not texting back and other times it is the woman. It really depends. But I have to say…
Men don’t put as much emphasis on texting – and women are more often confused by men’s texting habits.
Why isn’t he texting back? The reasons range from him no longer being interested and trying to let you down gently, or maybe he’s busy and doesn’t want to talk all day. Or maybe he intends to respond but forgets to.
Key Realization: Men and Women View Texting Differently
In general, men are more single-minded and focused on one task at a time.
Usually, a man will not obsess over texting the way some women tend to. Perhaps it is because women tend to talk more to each other about relationship issues or perhaps it is simply social conditioning.
The point is… this happens to the best of us. We all get caught up in a “texting black hole” from time to time, and all you can do is learn from it.
You may also like: Texting Your Ex Boyfriend Back – How To Do It
Are You In A Texting Black Hole?
All this means is you have tunnel vision and end up fixating over a text (or lack thereof) rather than going about living your life without giving his lack of a response too much thought.
The more time you put into thinking about something, the more important it feels to you. Vixen Daily has more about this concept and texting.
This time investment makes him responding seem super important when it’s built up in your mind. You invest your emotional energy into it as well, sitting there with your phone praying for that “ding” sound to soothe your soul.
It’s OK. If this has happened to you, don’t worry…
I’m going to tell you what to do and give you some general texting tips.
Don’t Text Him Again and Again
Do not send him multiple texts if he has not responded.
He honestly might just be busy. Or maybe he is afraid that if he lets the conversation begin and take on this kind of tone (of going back and forth) that you will expect him to continue like that all day. (Try this article at A New Mode for more guy texting psychology.)
Realize He Might Not Be Ignoring You On Purpose
There is a chance that he is interested in you but genuinely has not had time to respond.
The best thing you can do is to wait and see what happens. Don’t assume the worst (yet).
That is unless you have texted him multiple times in a row and it’s been days. Then, you can assume either his phone is broken, or he is trying to let you know that he is not interested.
Send Him Happy, Fun Texts
I am not saying that you aren’t doing this or that you don’t send “fun” texts.
All I am saying is: if you send him texts that are happy and lighthearted he is much more likely to respond than if you send him something that’s more of an emotional melodrama.
I don’t mean “emotional melodrama” in a negative way; I am not trying to criticize you. All I am saying is… don’t be “that girl” who gets lost in a dramatic emotional rant without realizing how he will perceive it.
Men are inherently repelled by this kind of emotional display.
It is nothing personal against you. Maybe you don’t even do this. But if you do ever catch yourself wanting to write him a long, in-depth paragraph about how awful he is for not replying… why would he want to reply?
I’m telling you what is effective. What works.
See also: What Do Men Want From A Relationship?
Be Present In The Moment And Have Fun Don’t Fixate On Texting
All this means is to focus on the quality of the time you spend with him and less on his texting habits.
Remember that texting is just one tiny part of a relationship! Texting is not the relationship. The memories you make together is.
I will leave you on that note: make memories with him, and don’t sweat the small stuff like texting.
About The Author: Nick Bastion is a dating and relationships expert with over 10 years of experience helping men and women have the love lives they’ve always wanted. You can find more of his writing at www.vixendaily.com