How to get your boyfriend to propose can be a tricky business. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while now and you’re wondering when he’s gonna pop the question, it can start to get a little frustrating if there seem to be no signs that he is getting ready to make his move.
However, there are a few important things to consider when it comes to getting a proposal from your man.
So, considering that you have already decided that he is marriage material, and you indeed want to spend the rest of your life with him, the next two questions you need to consider are;
- Is he ready to get married?
- How can I get him to propose?
This article will cover both important questions and will give you a greater insight into how men think about marriage, what needs to be in place for them to feel that they are ready to pop the question and what you can do to lead him there if he needs some subtle encouragement.
Few things can torment a woman like being in love with a great guy, you’re ready to get engaged, but you’re waiting for him to get around to finally proposing.
It is a common joke in modern society that women mature faster and process their emotions more quickly than men, and while this is almost a stereotype, it is quite true in many relationships. The woman finds herself wanting to be asked the big question, but the guy just isn’t making the move.
So why Do Some Guys Hesitate When it Comes to Marriage?
There are a number of reasons why men hesitate when it comes to marriage proposals.
Some are honestly afraid of commitment, whereas other guys just happen to be in a relationship with someone that they know is someone they are happy dating but don’t necessarily consider marriage material.
This is an extremely important point and comes down to knowing yourself, your standards and your values in a relationship so you know what you bring to the table. Then, once you know this, discovering what your boyfriend holds dear regarding his values in a relationship and the qualities in a person that he looks for when it comes to finding a wife is the next important step.
If your values and ideals match or are very close, then you’re most likely all set. It’s just a case of waiting for him to ask you or subtly steering him in the right direction.
If however, his values and aspirations either don’t match what you want out of life or are way outside of who you feel you are then it may be a good indication to look for someone new.
If there are similarities but also some noticeable differences, then ask yourself if you are willing to make some changes to meet him at his value set.
In other instances, the guy may love things just as they are with you and doesn’t want to rock the boat.
Regardless, pretty much all men have a few predictable mental blocks when it comes to getting married. Because of this, relationship expert T Dub from San Diego has carved out exact strategies for women to be able to uncover exactly what their man’s mental road blocks are and get him to commit without being pushy or manipulative.
If you want to listen to T Dub explaining his techniques then click here.
Find Out if He is Ready
Even if you have been in a relationship with him for a number of years, doesn’t necessarily mean that he is ready to commit to a marriage.
Guys often think of marriage differently that women and will need to be at a place where they feel it is the right time.
This often comes down to having sufficiently experienced certain things in life, such as time with his buddies, adventure and other women. Once he feels that he has experienced these things enough, then he will more likely be in a place to thing about settling down.
This, of course, varies from guy to guy. For example, your man may also be particularly focused on his career and feel that he wants to achieve certain things in that aspect of his life before he wants to get married.
Finances is also a big concern for most guys when it comes to marriage. If he does not feel that he is in a place financially to be able to afford to get married and all that comes along with it, then the idea of tying the knot may make him feel a little anxious.
Related Article: Exact Signs He Wants To Marry You
Test His Readiness
It is important never to put pressure on your boyfriend as this can be a reason why some guys pull away.
It can be a good idea to talk about marriage with him to gauge where he’s at. However, subtlety is the key.
Try to avoid bringing up the subject of marriage bluntly or starting a conversation with the topic. Instead, a more covert way of bringing up the subject is to wait until the theme comes up in your environment when you’re with him. For example, if the two of you are watching TV together and a program about weddings and marriage comes on then it seems more natural to start a conversation about marriage.
You can also test his readiness by seeing if he is willing to have a meaningful commitment to you in other ways, such as moving in together or getting a pet together.
5 Ways To Get Him To Propose
1) Spend time with couples that are already married
Going on double dates with your boyfriend and another married couple is a great way for him to start to feel more comfortable with the idea.
Make sure you pick a couple that has it together and are both apparently very happy being married. Furthermore, if there happens to be a couple of your friends that are married and your boyfriend looks up to, respects or admires the guy for whatever reason, then hanging out with that couple will help to condition him to the idea that marriage is a good thing.
Taking this subtle approach is a great way to avoid honest conversations that might prove uncomfortable, as well as ultimatums which can actually destroy relationships.
Most men, contrary to popular belief, are just as afraid of being alone as women, so they often want to get married eventually, but they also want to be in a happy space and not feel trapped.
If you get your boyfriend to see that some of your friends have happy marriages, he might just start envisioning himself in one, as well as you being the better half of it.
As relationship expert, T Dub explains, there are predictable thought patterns that almost all guys have that cause them to hesitate when it comes to marriage. To find out what they are listen to T Dub explain all here.
2) Covertly bring up the subject
If cramming the social calendar with time among happily married couples doesn’t nudge your long-term boyfriend to leap, then start working marriage into small talk and conversation with him.
Talking about the benefits of marriage, in general, can help him to see aspects of the commitment that he may not have thought of before.
When you have successfully brought up the subject, asking him questions about what his views are on marriage and if he feels he would one day get married himself.
Through a good, open conversation, you should be able to find out what he thinks about the possibility of the two of you getting hitched one day. Again, it is very important how you bring the subject up as you don’t want the conversation to start with him on the defensive.
Just remember that this particular tactic loses its subtlety pretty quickly. Mentioning marriage in conversation two or three times is probably going to be enough for him to take a hint so don’t keep bringing it up again and again. Therefore, when you do get your opportunity to talk about it, be ready with your questions ahead of time to reduce the need for bringing up the subject multiple times.
See also: Find Out If He Loves You
3) Help him understand engagement clearly
Letting him know that although engagement is a pre-cursor to marriage, it does not necessarily need to follow quickly. Letting you man know that once engaged you are happy to spend some time enjoying the engagement process for a while will help to make him fee more comfortable popping the question.
Start dropping hints about your ring preferences, but be careful not to over-do it.
You might not want to specifically say “engagement” at any point, but you can casually mention the recent rings of your friends and why you like them or not.
A more subtle way of doing this is to wait until you are together with your boyfriend and one of your friends who is either engaged or married. Then, taking your friend’s hand and saying something like, ‘Oh wow, I love your ring so much, I really like X, Y Z about it’.
Make sure your boyfriend is in earshot of the conversation is essential, or better yet, also asking your boyfriends opinion on the ring. This will help put the idea in his head and also to give him some clue about what kind of rings you like.
Engagement and wedding rings are something rather special, so also drop hints about what types of diamonds you like, in particular with regards to cuts, sizes, and colors.
If you can find a way to mention your particular ring size in conversation, you might be doing your guy a huge favor. He might be wanting to propose, but has no idea how to get a ring for you behind your back. If you feel it would be okay with him to be less subtle about this, then find a reason to take him to a ring store and try on a few things.
4) Start talking about the future
Or start talking about the future differently. Start peppering conversations with phrases like “if we’re still together,” “if we have kids,” or “if we own a home.” His reactions to that imagery will let you know if his head or heart are also going in that direction.
Anytime you mention the future, say “we” instead of “I” regarding goals and ambitions. If he wants to be a part of your future, he’ll probably pick up that in your vocabulary and feel more of a connection to you. If not, you’ll know soon enough.
5) Arrange a romantic trip away together
If you’re confident he’s ready to propose, and you’re willing to roll the dice, schedule a romantic trip somewhere together. Make sure that the trip is at least two or three months in advance so that he has time to figure out if he wants to propose and then get ready.
However, try not to pin all your hopes on him proposing to you on the trip as he may not if he is still not ready. Just enjoy the trip together, but give him the opportunity to make his move.
If he really loves you, your happiness will be important to him, and if he knows you would love getting asked the question there and then, he might just make it happen.
While Hollywood often portrays the supposed dream proposal as a shock, women are rather intuitive and mostly know it’s coming in advance, even if they don’t know when and where specifically. So look for clues in his behavior to get an idea if he is also thinking this way, but don’t let on.
Even if he doesn’t propose on that trip, you might see couples that do propose, and that can inspire him for next time, so don’t be down-hearted.
These five ways to get your boyfriend to propose marriage to you will give you a whole toolbox at your disposal when you are ready to nudge your significant other into popping the big question.
If you are ready to move on to the grandest stage, romance can have, then choose one of these techniques and put it into play. With luck, your partner is dreaming of a lifetime with you already and is just dragging his feet. Here’s hoping your nudge sees you both go down the wedding aisle!
If after trying these techniques he is still hesitating, then chances are your man has one or more mental road block about marriage. If this is the case then discovering what his blocks are will help you to help him get passed them and take the plunge. To find out what’s holding your guy back and what to do about it to get him to commit, listen to relationship expert, T Dub explain all here.