How to keep a man interested in you is a question that almost every woman will come to at some point once they are in a relationship with a guy they really like.
It is normal for a person to have all kinds of insecurities running through their head once they actually get together with someone they’re really keep on if you’re not in a strong place when you meet them. A woman can start to worry whether they’re good enough for their man, if he’ll eventually get bored with her or if he’ll find someone else.
From this, the questions usually arises about how they can keep their man interested in them and hanging around for the long-term, instead of eventually pulling away from the relationship.
According to stereotypes, landing a man is child’s play for any woman. The reality of the situation is a lot more complex, and that certainly holds true when you start looking at your longer-term dating prospects.
Engaging a man’s interest and keeping him focused on you can be a real trial. Here are some tips to make it easier.
Keeping Him Interested In You
Don’t Become His Plus One Too Quickly
Depending on your dating goals, building up a long-term permanent relationship might be your top priority. Even if this is the case, you don’t want to throw yourself into every nook and cranny of your new guy’s life after date number three.
Maintain your own separate life and don’t push him towards sharing things before he’s ready.
Besides respecting your man’s space, this will also help to keep him intrigued by giving him more to find out about you. Let your man know that he’ll have to put in more work to earn access to all the different facets of your life.
If you make yourself an all-or-nothing prize to be won in a single game, don’t be surprised if your man goes looking for a new challenge after winning you.
Be The Right Kind Of Mysterious
The initial process of seduction, no matter who drives it, is all about intrigue and discovering the unknown. You want to preserve as much of that feeling as possible so that you can deploy it over and over again throughout your relationship. This means holding back a few surprises to delight your man when he least expects them.
Be aware that you need to pick and choose your assets to suit what you’ve learned about your guy when you do this! Where one man will be delighted to discover you want him to take you skinny dipping, another may be turned off.
You should tailor your menu of options to fit your partner’s interests. Remember, to do this effectively you’ll need to learn plenty about him.
Let Him Dictate The PDA Rules
This point digs a bit into cultural biases, but you should be prepared to work with what you have. The truth of the matter is that guys are allowed to be way more picky about public displays of affection than women are.
Some guys are happy and proud to smooch their girlfriends on the library steps; others feel uncomfortably exposed even holding hands at the bus stop.
Follow your man’s lead when it comes to PDA. Don’t pressure him into things he’s clearly uncomfortable with and don’t spring things on him without warning. You’ll find that most guys actually find it to be a tremendous turn on to be asked if you can kiss them in public.
Bear in mind, of course, that you shouldn’t let your man’s interests pull you outside of your own comfort zone!
In the rare case that you latch onto a man who’s more interested than you are in getting grabby in public, make sure your boundaries are clearly defined. He’ll appreciate the certainty even if it turns out that your limits are more conservative than his.
Keep Criticism To A Minimum
Of all the things men look for in relationships, constructive criticism is always near the bottom of the list.
Do your best to refrain from being intentionally or even accidentally critical. This seems like obvious common sense, but remember that it’s a lot easier to police yourself on a three-hour date than it is during a long-term relationship.
You need to stay aware of the fact that far from their cliche reputation for being unfeeling and uncaring, men are actually just as capable as women are of twisting words and using them to reinforce their fears.
If you tell your boyfriend you want to spend more time with him, it’s quite possible he’ll interpret this as, “You don’t pay enough attention to me.” Keeping your words free of all possible criticism may well be an impossible goal, but it’s still one you can strive for.
See also: Our Guide To Making a Guy Fall in Love
Show Your Appreciation
This isn’t about meeting some schedule of intimate affection dreamed up by a magazine editor. Okay, it can be about that, but it’s about a lot more than that.
Appreciation means just that – letting your guy know that you recognize something he’s done for you and that it makes you happy.
Clear appreciation can be an enormous motivator, especially as a relationship matures and heads for the long term. Everybody likes to hear that he or she is doing a good job, so make sure your guy knows it when you like the way he’s boyfriending.
See also: How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Loves You
Add Some Spice To Your Relationship
One of the best parts of being in a relationship is to be able to have fun with your man and be naughty from time to time.
Guys love it when a girl gets sexual with them and suggests naughty things that they would like to do with their fella. Of course, how and when you do this all depends on what stage you are at in your relationship and the level of comfort and safety you feel with your guy and only let the relationship develop to this stage when you are ready and you feel that your man is someone with whom you feel safe with and you can trust in order to become more intimate.
With that said, one great way to spice up your relationship is with a few naughty texts at the right times. Guys love getting naughty texts from their lady and ads an element of excitement and passion to the relationship.
To learn all about sexting, see our article on How to talk dirty to your man with text messages.
Demand The Respect You Deserve
Looking back over this article, you’ll see that a fair amount of it involves making an effort to accommodate your man in various ways.
Giving a little something up and taking the time to do things his way from time to time is just an inevitable part of keeping a guy interested in you. Don’t let this process go too far, though.
You should make sure your man understands that you’re not a doormat or a Stepford Wife-in-Waiting who’s willing to change herself on his slightest whim.
There’s a pretty big separation between being polite and affectionate with someone you love and becoming entirely subservient to a man. Make sure you stay objective and stay on the former side of that divide!
Holding a man’s interest is a bit more challenging than grabbing it in the first place. It’s something worth working at if you want to build a long-term relationship, and suggestions like those presented here can help out a lot.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to being our best self in the relationship and showing your guy all the great things about you, how much fun the two of you can have together, and so forth.
Keep your options open and keep looking for ways to hold your guy’s attention!