Ok, so you’ve split up with your ex-boyfriend, but for some reason, you just can’t get him out of your head. You keep thinking of him; maybe you even find yourself asking, ‘what’s he doing?’ ‘who’s he with?’ ‘is he thinking of me?’ and so on.
Before long, you find all this ‘unknown’ is driving you crazy; do you want him back? Was it a mistake the two of you broke up? What if I text him to find out how he’s doing? Is that a good idea? Before long, you can already feel your head starting to explode!
So, you build up the courage to send that initial text, to put the feelers out and get an idea of what he’s up to, but then the worst happens…he doesn’t reply. What do you do now?!
Well, firstly rest assured that if you were going to make contact with him, then a text message is definitely the best way to go. It’s subtle; it’s less desperate than calling, and it’s generally what everyone does nowadays anyway.
HOWEVER…you can’t just send any text or you could blow your chances with him completely. With the wrong text at the wrong time, you could be throwing away your one and only chance of getting back together with him, forever.
If you send the wrong messages then the next time you see him he could be in the arms of another woman. I can’t emphasize this strongly enough, it’s already a delicate situation to text your ex boyfriend as it is. However, it is totally possible to use text messages to get him back if you do it the right and proven to work way.
There is actually a lot of psychology behind sending text messages to win back your ex boyfriend, more than you would probably realize.
Relationship and strategy experts have worked tirelessly to discover the most effective text messages to send your ex, exactly what to say and when to say it to get your ex boyfriend back into your life and keep him. This system has worked for thousands of women and is regarded as one of the most effective strategies in repairing broken relationships today.
Of course, all of this is way beyond the scope of just one article, so I will outline some of the fundamentals for you here. However, if you really want to discover exactly what this whole strategy is, you can find out more about it here.
Back To Basics
Before you begin, keep in mind the breakup rules basics. Relationship experts recommend a ‘cooling off’ or quiet period, and indeed, this is true.
It is advisable not to communicate with your ex at all for at least one month.
This technique gives him an opportunity to calm down and to cool off. It also gives the both of you that much needed time to reflect on the relationship, the good and the bad points and to give the both of you that much needed time and space to reflect upon what it really is that you want in your life.
Are you still in love with your ex? Do you still want to have a relationship with him? Well, the fact is that this is something that cannot possibly be decided in five minutes or even a few days after the breakup.
Time is the real answer to this question. The reason being that time will help you figure things out. As such, never rush to make decisions that you will regret later in life; especially when it comes to relationships. Give yourself the gift of time.
It is important to know that relationships attract jealousy (of seeing someone you loved having fun without you), which will create both tension and curiosity.
During the cooling off period, you should consider going out to have some fun. Post fun nights out with your friends on your Facebook or your Pinterest page and share them with your buddies.
The aim isn’t really to make your ex jealous, but more to show that you have moved on, or at least to give the appearance that you are doing fine without him.
This technique will make your ex-boyfriend reply to your text messages more readily when you do finally decide to send one. Curiosity will likely get the better of him, and he will feel compelled to reply to you to find out what you’re up to.
When you guys do finally text each other, it will be highly likely that he will want to know what you have been up to and if you are seeing anyone these days. Moreover, he will be curious to know if you have moved on if he has not himself.
What Should You Send In Your First Text?
Most people spend too much time thinking about this, but the best thing to do for the first message is just to keep it short, friendly and casual.
Absolutely under no circumstances mention any negatives from your past with him, ask him why things finished or even ask him a question. Asking a question, no matter how innocent or innocuous it is, means that you want something from him.
Of course, exactly what you should say in that critical first text message will depend on the circumstances of your breakup and how things have been currently left between the two of you. To learn exactly what to say in your text messages to him, watch this video.
Don’t Let Your Feelings Get In The Way
When texting your ex, try to put any feelings you may have to one side. Relationship experts believe that nagging and clinging are the main reason boyfriends dump their girlfriends. So try as much as possible not to show any feelings in your messages to him.
Just assume like you are talking to an ordinary person or friend. Once he has replied, and you have got the conversation going, keep it friendly, slightly upbeat and not too personal. Try to wait for him to ask how you are first before you start to ask more personal questions like how is he doing.
Asking him simple questions about what he knows can be a good way to go. For example, you can ask for the name of the restaurant or any other place he took you to. i.e. “What was the name of that restaurant we went on our first date? … I want to take a friend there but cannot remember the name.”
This kind of text message will likely get a response because it is somewhat impersonal. Secondly, curiosity is likely to get the better of him, and regardless if he asks you or not, he will be wondering who the ‘friend’ is that you want to take to the restaurant.
On the other hand, you may try asking for something you know your ex is good at. For example, assuming that your ex is a good painter, you could try to ask about their painting. If your ex loves going to the gym, you may request him to recommend you a new workout routine or class, and you are asking for their suggestion. Many men love to give advice about things they are good at or know a lot about.
Breakup help: What You Need To Do To Get Over The Breakup
It is important to be tactful in the early stages of texting your ex-boyfriend and to keep your emotions out of it. Try to avoid asking him a question in the first text and from there, try to keep any of your subsequent questions impersonal.
In a nutshell, your early messages will be dependent on how things have been left between the two of you. From there, creativity is required depending upon his responses to you. Once you get to the stage of asking him questions, if you can appeal to his ego and ask him for help or advice with something then you should get a positive response.
NOTE: do not mention anything about your past relations with him or your current situation/relationship in the early stages. The aim is not making him jealous, but leaving a few hints such as “I’m going to a party with a friend” to spark his curiosity to ask you more.
As I mentioned previously in this article, texting your ex boyfriend with the aim of getting him back into a relationship with you is a tricky business if you do not follow a tried and proven to work method.
If you don’t want to leave your relationship to chance and run the risk of losing him forever to another woman, I would strongly advise you learn how to do this properly and follow a step by step, clear method outlined by relationship experts. Watch this video now to discover exactly how to win him back.