What To Do If You Think Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Get Back Together (And You Do)

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Last Updated on June 22, 2021

girl thinking of her ex boyfriendWhat a fun situation to be in… you really want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, and yet, he doesn’t seem to want to get back together with you.

Maybe he doesn’t think it’s a good idea because of how things ended; maybe he doesn’t feel the same way about you that he used to… You can analyze the reasons and try to figure it out forever, but this will not help you. Here is what will help yoo.

No Contact

What I mean by “no contact” is that for 30 days, you make it a point not to contact him. Whether you just got over a breakup or broke up a while ago, you still need this month for yourself, to get yourself into a headspace where you will be more likely to make him want to get back together with him.

The problem with contacting your ex right now is that you are going to be in an emotional state (not to say you won’t be in an emotional state in a month, but there is a good reason for taking this “time out,” because you will be “doing things” that unknowingly make it less and less likely for him to want to get back together. (For more on how to make him want to get back together with you, check out my full article on the subject).

Related Article: How You Can Get Over The Breakup

Work On Yourself

What do I mean by “work on yourself?” There are two parts of this, making mindset/lifestyle shifts and the “physical” area of life.

So I will begin with the mindset shifts.

Drop the Neediness

Neediness means you “need” him to get back together with you in order to feel OK. This mindset is actually going to turn him off from the idea of getting back together with you.

When you genuinely drop this mindset, what happens is you end up giving off a totally different vibe… one that is happy, pleasant and going to make him want to be around you more and more.

You cannot pretend not to be needy. You have to actually accept that even if he does not get back together with you, you will be OK.

See also: Text Your Ex Boyfriend Back Into a Relationship With You

Realize There are Other Men Out There

girl upset after a break upI am not saying go out and date a million men or to go out constantly. But what I am saying is just to have some fun flirting, maybe keeping the idea of there being other men out there open.

Don’t be so fixated on your ex that you don’t notice all the other men out there. If anything, going out and having fun with other men will simply help you feel desirable and wanted again (after your ex not wanting to get back together has probably left you feeling undesirable and unwanted).

This is a massive mindset shift that will make you much more attractive to your ex when you know that you are desirable and have options. Options give you the freedom of knowing you have a choice. This affects your vibe and will help when you end up talking to your ex again.

Go Out With Friends

Going out with friends is a good way to have fun, laugh and get your mind off him. This is going to help you drop the needy mindset and put you in a much better mental state.

This will mean that when you do end up talking to him, you give off a fun, happy vibe rather than a bad vibe (a needy one).

Adopt a Hobby

Is there a hobby you used to do that you stopped? Start it again! Is there something you have always wanted to do and pursue but haven’t? Pursue it! Occupy your time and this will help you be in a much better state of mind.


These changes are to make you look and feel your best. Make a concerted effort to focus on being as in shape as possible, make healthy eating choices, spend time on your makeup, get a new hairstyle or go to the salon for a fun color change… focus on looking your best.

I am not saying this to be rude or insulting… I am simply giving you what is most effective when it comes to giving yourself the best shot of getting him back.

So after a month, you can contact him with your non-needy vibe, you will be looking and feeling your best… and it will come across to him.

And if it does not end up working out, you will be OK. You cannot force anyone to like you, and you are better off waiting for someone new who likes you for who you are.

1 thought on “What To Do If You Think Your Ex Doesn’t Want To Get Back Together (And You Do)”

  1. My ex broke it off because i was too clingy and reminded him of hes ex. Since then we have been in a fwb situation butvi still have feelings for him,added to this his flatmate wants to be with me but i do not like him in that way..and ive told him this. My ex flirts with me and we are comfortable around eachother but he says we will always be just friends. Is it possible to get him to want more and how? We never argued or anything whilst we were together and i truely do adore this man. I font want to loose him alover again.

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