There are many times when men close their eyes during sex and there are a number of reasons why he may be doing this.
Sometimes it means he’s trying to get into the flow of his rhythm with you and he doesn’t want to lose control. However, other times it can mean that he’s “somewhere else” mentally and even “with someone else” in his mind.
Of course, your guy may not be doing this at all. There are several other reasons why he may be closing his eyes, which I go into more detail about in this article. However, if you are concerned that he may not really be present with you during sex then you need to give him a strong reason to bring his attention back to you.
According to sex therapist, Felicity Keith one of the most effective ways to turn your man on and create an incredible sexual connection with him is to use the words that ignite the passion and excitement in his brain. Felicity explains exactly how to do it here.
Why Isn’t He Looking At Me?
It has to do with his senses
The first reason that men close their eyes during sex has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their senses. Our five senses (sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch) work collaboratively to contribute to our experiences.
Think about this: have you ever turned the music down while you’re driving to be able to “better see” where you are going in an unfamiliar space? Or, have you ever closed your eyes when you’re listening to something that you are trying hard to hear? If you have, you understand the psychology behind closing off one of our senses in order to enhance another.
Have you closed your eyes while kissing someone? You likely have. The reason for closing your eyes is not because you are thinking of something else, because you are trying to disconnect from the situation, or for any other reason other than to enhance the sensation of the kiss and the emotions that come along with it.
When your man is closing his eyes during sex, there is a very good chance that this is the reason he is doing it: to enhance the physical and emotional experience of it.
Think about when you are getting a massage or experiencing another physically pleasant sensation, or even when you are having sex. Sometimes when you close your eyes, it removes any other outside distractions or focal points and allows you to fully enjoy the experience.
See also: Why men like dirty talk
He is actually enjoying it too much
Most guys put conscious effort into holding back from climaxing during sex so sometimes they close their eyes to concentrate on holding back in order to prolong the experience and to continue your pleasure.
While he is likely fully engaged and enjoying it, he is also conscious of your pleasure in the act and wants you to be able to fully enjoy it for as long as you can too.
Now, add in that men do not want to be “that guy” who is a one-minute man! It bruises his ego, makes him self-conscious, and makes him feel like he is not able to meet your needs.
So if this is the reason, take this as a positive that he is not selfish, that he wants you to enjoy the experience as well, and that he is putting off his own pleasure for the both of you.
Closing his eyes may help to remove the sexy image of you for a few minutes while he adjusts his mindset to last longer or he may have a “go-to” image that is NOT sexy in order to help bring him back before climaxing too early.
See also: The good girl’s guide to talking dirty
He is thinking of someone else
Okay so this is not the response you wanted, but it could be a reality. However, first understand that if he is thinking of someone else, this is a normal occurrence that, let’s be honest, you probably experience too.
If he is thinking of someone else, it is likely that he is thinking of someone who you do not need to worry about – like a celebrity, or possibly a porn star.
As long as it is someone who is “out of reach” that he is not actually able to be in a sexual situation with, there is nothing to worry about. He could also be playing a fantasy in his mind during this time. Unless his eyes are perpetually closed, this is also nothing to worry about.
He could also be thinking of… YOU! He may be playing out his fantasies in his mind, with you as part of them. Or, there is a very good chance that he has taken a snapshot of you in a sexy position in his mind that he is holding onto as he closes his eyes.
If he closes his eyes 90% of the time, it would be worth inquiring about it in a non-accusatory way. Chances are, you have nothing to worry about.
The only time you should worry is if he has been having close relationships with females who you are unsure of – like a new coworker. If this person is someone within reach who he COULD be in an in-person situation with, it is possible that he is thinking of her while he is having sex with you.
While this is an obviously unpleasant thought, this is the less likely possibility and even if it is happening, it does not mean that he will follow through with this fantasy.
Take notice of how often he is closing his eyes. Try to have confidence and reassure yourself that it is likely nothing to worry about. Remind yourself of all the possibilities listed above and that the reasoning for him closing his eyes is likely due to a positive reason related to you as opposed to a negative reason that involves someone else.
If it is persistent and it is bothering you, simply ask him what is going through his mind at that time to help to understand him more deeply and to strengthen your relationship.