Double Texting & Second Texts – 5 Simple Rules to Play it Cool

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Last Updated on June 22, 2021

a woman realising that she sent a double textYou really like someone. And when you like someone, you want to naturally connect with them. So, in our modern dating world, that means, of course, texting.

While texting seems like a pretty easy way of communicating with our new crushes (sometimes a little too easy) because there are no hard and fast rules to it, there isn’t a set-upon etiquette of how to use texts “properly’ when it comes to dating.

However, one big No-No to avoid in the early stages of dating is “double texting.”

If you’re not familiar with double texting, it’s basically what it sounds like: it’s sending two text messages in a row to the same person (your crush) without waiting for them to respond back.

For some, receiving a double text is a big red flag.


Because sending a bunch of blue messages can come across as too excitable and/or needy, especially in the early courtship days.

Instead, you want to come across as interested but not too interested, you dig?

Here are some basic rules when it comes to the double text so you can let them see your best self.

(P.S. if you need more help, then check out the Text Chemistry system by renowned relationship coach, Amy North. Her system teaches women how to create a strong sense of connection and attraction with guys through text messages.)

Double Texting Rules You Need To Know

woman looking at cell phoneOnly Double Text If You Have a Good Reason

Texted a funny GIF and haven’t heard back in a day? Then chill your jets.

Eric Resnick, a dating coach and founder of Profile Helper told Elite Daily, said don’t do it unless you have very good reason to do so. Otherwise, he says, doing so only reads as a desperate move. But if you have something concrete to say, like, you’ll be late for your date or how much you’re looking forward to seeing them, then it’s all good to send the second text.

Consider What He’s Doing

There are a number of reasons why guys don’t answer text messages (which, by the way, is their least favourite method of communicating).

He could be at work. He could be at the gym. He could be out with his friends.

As Adam LoDolce says in his video about “7 Texting Mistakes that Turn Guys Off,” dating and texting is a patience game.

Wait it out.

Before you send a double text, stop for a second and consider that he’s probably genuinely busy and needs some space.

Realizing that his life doesn’t revolve around responding to your messages ASAP while also knowing that his response, or lack thereof, doesn’t necessarily reflect his feelings should help ease your mind (and control your fingers).

Just, let him come to you. It feels better.

You can check out Adam’s video here.

See also: Texting him to keep him interested

Don’t Get Passive Aggressive

If you haven’t heard back from your crush after a few hours (or days), Molly Fedick, editor-of-chief of Hinge’s advice blog, IRL, told Quartz that you want to refrain from playing petty games like sending passive-aggressive comments in order to get their attention.

So no “Where’d you go?” or “You’re a terrific conversationalist.” Just let it go until they respond. If they don’t, well, then that’s your answer. Move on.

See also: Ways to flirt with him over text

Why Are You Sending a Double Text?

Is it out of fear and anxiety?

Do you feel he’s about to ghost you?

Do you question the validity of his feelings?

Sending a text out of fear is never a good idea. It only comes across as needy and projects a bad vibe that he can definitely sense. If you have genuine concerns about your relationship, then your best bet is to refrain from a double text, wait another day to process your feelings, and call him.

Communicate your feelings.

From there, you can talk through what each one of you needs from your texting habits, and see how you can put one another at ease.

See also: Send him these good night text messages

a couple texting each other

See also: How to talk dirty to him with text messages

How Long Have You Been Dating?

When in doubt, consider how long you’ve been dating this guy. If he hasn’t replied back after your first date, and it’s been at least two to three days, then most likely he’s not interested, so you might as well skip the double text.

If you’ve been dating for a few months, then that’s a different story. He knows your texting patterns and you know his.

By now, there shouldn’t be any worry about who texted last or who didn’t. And if he’s freaked out by a double text after dating a few weeks? Then you might want to tell him, “bye-bye”.

Dating is stressful enough without being concerned about sending a double text to your boyfriend.

Final Thoughts

Bottom line: dating is hard, and worrying about double texting can make it worse.

While you definitely want to come across as your best self to a potential new love interest, you also want to remain true to yourself.

By following the above rules, you’ll feel more in control about your dating life, and therefore more confident.

Need more help? Then be sure to check out the Text Chemistry system by relationship coach, Amy North.

And if you want to send a double text because you really like this guy and feel good and secure about it? Then, by all means, go for it.

When it’s right between two people, there are no steadfast rules when it comes to matters of the heart.

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