If you have lost the man that you love, and you are trying to figure out a good plan of attack, the last thing that you want to do is resort to desperate measures.
Sulking or acting needy are traits that the majority of men will not find attractive, especially if you are trying to win back a guy who has a set goal in mind for the girl of his dreams. You want to try to stay away from jumping into one-nighters with him or falling victim to a drunk dial or two because you miss him.
These are behaviors that will rarely win a guy over after a breakup and it can end up making you look weak or pushing him away.
Many women will, unfortunately, experience how excruciatingly painful it can be when you still love a guy after your relationship has come to an end.
There can be a lot of insecurities that can come over you, and the last thing that you will want to do is let these feelings win. Instead, you want to be able to overcome the dampened self-esteem and find a way to get back to who he fell in love with in the first place.
Accept Why The Relationship Ended
The first step in discovering how to get your ex boyfriend back is to first take a closer look and discover why the relationship ended. This is not just looking at the final conclusions that drew the relationship to an end, but rather to be clear on all the small steps over time that may have lead to that outcome.
Even though your initial feeling might be to fight the end of your relationship tooth and nail, there could be a lot of strong points as to why it ended. If he gives you the reasons why it ended on his part, muster up the courage to listen to him and what he is saying and feeling. Once you understand him, you can then move on and apologize for anything that you can on your behalf.
This is not the time to try to come out on top to be right. As he sees you apologizing, he will understand that you care about the relationship, and he will then be able to take responsibility for whatever his role was in the breakup.
Cut Out The Desperation
Even if the tears of sorrow may have worked for you in the past, don’t try to weep and convince him that he needs to come back. Being needy and desperate can be a real downer for most guys. Men want to have a woman who is happy with herself.
You need to be happy and make sure that you are living your life to the point of a radiance coming off of you that will lead him to rethink why the two of you are not together. You should never have to try to convince him that you should be together. He needs to be able to view you as his prize to win.
What Was Your Role In The Break Up?
More often than not, a breakup is caused by the actions of both parties. Even though it may be a tough pill to swallow, you need to think of what you may have done that caused the breakdown of your bond. Cut out the idea of trying to blame him for the end and think of what you did specifically that added to your demise.
Once you can see what you may have done, understand it and apologize for it, the chances will be good that you will not have a repeat performance moving forward.
If you have ever heard the old saying that if you love something set it free, you should know that there is a lot of truth to it. Most men love to divide and conquer. With that being said, don’t make it all that easy for him to come back. Instead, make him do a little bit of work for your attention. If the two of you are really meant to be together, he will start to contact you and make plans to see you if he wants to.
However, this is never the time for you to give into a late night booty call as this is not the result you are looking for. Start off with coffee in the afternoon or a lunch date when you are getting back into seeing one another.
Making him work for your attention will make him respect you all the more if and when you do get back together.
Always Put Yourself First
You may feel like you are important, but you also have to convey that you are important and that your feelings have value. This is going to be very attractive to him. Show that you are happy with yourself and make it known that you love yourself. Once you can do this, it opens the door for the two of you to try to connect again. Just like another old saying goes, you can never love someone if you do not love yourself first.
Own What You Want
In any relationship, you always have to be able to show that you know what you want. Do you have a vision for the future? If so, be clear and honest about it at all times. Let everything unfold as naturally as possible, but stand your ground when voicing what you would like to see the two of you doing in the future. Even though it can be easy to become obsessed with the idea of winning your ex back, the last thing that you want to do is let it take over your life as it can just set you up for failure once again.
There are all sorts of people out there today, and you need to make sure that you are never setting yourself up to be with someone who is using you in any way. You want to have a relationship with someone who has intentions of working as a team. If you start to get back together and you slowly start to notice that it seems as though he is in it for the wrong reasons, it is best that you re-evaluate your position and move on if you have to.
In the end, you need to have a strong and healthy relationship that will allow the both of you to be happy and thrive.