American Dating Society
How To Win Him Back And Make Him Want You
If you have lost the man you love, and you are trying to figure out a good plan to win him back, the last thing that you want to do is resort to desperate measures.
Sulking or acting needy are traits that the majority of men will not find attractive, especially if you are trying to win back a guy who has set ideals in mind for the girl of his dreams.
You want to try to stay away from jumping into one-nighters with him or falling victim to a drunk dial or two just because you miss him.
These are behaviors that will rarely win a guy over after a breakup and it can end up making you look weak or just push him away all together.
The first thing you will need to do is to find out if he still wants you back. If he has really moved on and is not interested in getting back together with you then you could be wasting your time or just end up embarrassing yourself in front of him.
Fortunately, there is a quick and simple test you can take to discover if he still wants you back. To take the test, click here.
Many women will, unfortunately, experience how excruciatingly painful it can be when you’re still in love with a guy after your relationship has come to an end. There can be a lot of insecurities that can come over you, and the last thing that you want to do is let these feelings win.
Instead, you want to be able to overcome the dampened self-esteem and find a way to get back to who he fell in love with in the first place.
Accept Why The Relationship Ended
The first step in discovering how to get your ex boyfriend back is to first take a closer look and discover why the relationship ended. This is not just looking at the final conclusions that drew the relationship to an end, but rather to be clear on all the small steps over time that may have lead to that outcome.
Even though your initial feeling might be to fight the end of your relationship tooth and nail, there could be a lot of strong points as to why it ended. If he gives you the reasons why it ended from his point of view, muster up the courage to listen to him with an open mind and try to understand what he is saying and how he is feeling.
Once you understand him, you can then start to see more clearly how the two of you might be able to patch things up and start to work on the issues that are causing the problems.
Understanding his feelings will not only help you to get to know him on a deeper level, it will also help you to have a more harmonious and meaningful relationship with him and form a stronger connection if the two of you do get back together.
If there is something that you have done wrong then you need to find the strength to apologise and admit the fault. If this is the case then this is not the time to try to come out on top to be right. A lot of people can feel vulnerable when they are apologizing, however there is great strength to be found in vulnerability.
As he sees you apologizing, he will at the very least understand that you care about the relationship, and he will then also be more likely to take responsibility for whatever his role was in the breakup.
Cut Out The Desperation
Even if the tears of sorrow may have worked for you in the past, don’t try to weep and convince him that he needs to come back. Being needy and desperate can be a real downer for most guys.
Men want to be with a woman who is happy with herself, up-beat and fun to be with. Although it is highly unlikely that you will feel like being the life of the party while you’re going through a break-up, not going to the other extreme by crying and acting desperate will definitely count in your favour.
Wherever possible, and once you are able to do so after the painful period has passed, get back to being you, do things that make you happy and do all you can so you are living your life to the point of a radiance coming off you. Women who carry themselves in this way are very attractive to men.
Once he sees and feels this energy from you it can often lead him to rethink why the two of you are not together. You should never have to try to convince him that you should be together. He needs to be able to view you as his prize to win.
To ensure you get that second chance with him, watch this video by relationship expert, Mirabelle Summers.
What Was Your Role In The Break Up?
In most cases, a breakup is caused by the actions of both parties. Often it may seem like one person is completely at fault, but if you take the time to think about how you two have been relating to each other and the events leading up to the breakup, often you will find that there is in fact fault on both sides.
Even though it may be a tough pill to swallow, you need to think of what you may have done that caused the breakdown of your relationship.
If you are struggling to find the reasons why things may have ended, then try to think back to the first time you noticed that he was becoming more distant form you. Understanding why he pulled away can often tell you a lot about him, yourself and the relationship.
Cut out the idea of trying to blame him for the end and think of what you did specifically that added to your demise. In the likelihood that you discover that there is fault on both sides, take the time to understand why it occurred, make peace with it and allow yourself to mentally note not to allow it to happen again if you get back with him or in any other relationship that you may find yourself in.
The next step is to try to meet up with your ex boyfriend if you can. Verbalizing and more importantly, apologizing for what went wrong on your part is a great step in repairing the damage. He will realize that you value him and the relationship and appreciate your honesty and courage.
If you have ever heard the old saying that if you love something set it free, you will probably know that there is a lot of truth to it. Most men love to divide and conquer. With that being said, don’t make it too easy for him to come back. However, before you get to this stage, you need to first build interest on his part in wanting to get back together with you.
Making him work for your attention will make him respect you all the more if and when you do get back together. The first steps to take is to learn how to make your ex miss you. Once you have achieved that you have already started him reaching for a re-connection with you.
Before you can do this, you need to discover if there is any chance in getting back together with him. Here is a simple three-step formula to quickly find out if there is still a chance for you guys.
From this point you can move on to the next stage of building the desire in him to want to be with you again. If the above three-step formula shows that there is still a chance of the two of you getting back together then it is more than possible to re-ignite those flames of love quickly.
Just stop, and imagine for a second, the very man who just before didn’t want to be with you and even told you that he doesn’t want you in his life, turn into a romantic Casanova who won’t leave you alone and literally yearns to be with you. What if you were able to make his heart pound in his chest and feel a special kind of desire for you each time he thinks about you? What would you give to be able to have this effect on your ex boyfriend the next time the two of you meet?
The secret to having this effect on him is known by less than 1% of women on the planet, but is actually quite simple. You can learn more about it here.
Always Put Yourself First
You may feel like you are important, but you also have to convey that you are important and that your feelings have value. This is going to be very attractive to him. Show him that you are happy with yourself and make it known that you love yourself.
Once you can do this, it opens the door for the two of you to re-connect again. Just like another old saying goes, you can never love someone if you do not love yourself first.
Own What You Want
In any relationship, you always have to be able to show that you know what you want. Do you have a vision for the future? If so, be clear and honest about it at all times. Let everything unfold as naturally as possible, but stand your ground when voicing what you would like to see the two of you doing in the future.
Even though it can be easy to become obsessed with the idea of winning your ex back, the last thing that you want to do is let it take over your life as it can just set you up for failure once again.
There are all sorts of people out there today, and you need to make sure that you are never setting yourself up to be with someone who is using you in any way. You want to have a relationship with someone who has intentions of working with you as a team and will love you unconditionally for who you are.
If you start to get back together and you slowly start to notice that it seems as though he is in it for the wrong reasons, it is best that you re-evaluate your position and move on if you have to. In the end, you need to have a strong and healthy relationship that will allow the both of you to be happy and thrive.
Getting back together with your ex-boyfriend can be a challenge. You first need to spend some time reflecting on the relationship and all the events leading up to the breakup. What was your part in it? Taking the time to understand what went wrong will help you to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
If you are still sure you want him back after your time reflecting, the next step will be to find out if he still has any feelings for you at all and whether there may be a chance of the two of you rekindling the flame of love. This step is crucial, so if you haven’t done so already, take the simple test now to find out if he secretly still wants you back.
Finally, you need to work to build the desire in him to want to be with you again and see you in the same way he use to see you when things were exciting and new. You don’t want to leave anything to chance here. Sure he may still have feelings for you, but is that enough to stop him from wanting to experience other women while he is single??
To avoid this heartbreak and to ensure that you re-ignite the flame of desire for you within him and have him start to crave spending time with you more and more, you need to learn the secrets of desire that will make him yours.