A lot of the time, it’s hard to tell whether you should get back together with your ex.
Sure, you might miss your ex a lot, but is that a good enough reason to get back together?
This article will give you the top signs that you should get back together with your ex, so you can know whether it’s a good idea or not.
7 Signs You Should Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend
- 1 7 Signs You Should Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend
- 1.1 Sign #1: You Are Both Single (or ready to be single)
- 1.2 Sign #2: Change Has Happened
- 1.3 Sign #3: You’re Doing It For The “Right” Reasons
- 1.4 Sign #4: When You Do Talk To Each Other, It’s Pleasant
- 1.5 Sign #5: You Genuinely Miss Each Other
- 1.6 Sign #6: One (Or Both Of You) Have Forgiven Each Other
- 1.7 Sign #7: The Reason Behind The Breakup
Sign #1: You Are Both Single (or ready to be single)
This is an obvious one but it’s certainly relevant and important to think about.
If he is in a serious relationship or if you are in a serious relationship this is obviously going to make it less likely that you will even be able to get back together… unless one or both of you are ready to leave the current relationship you’re in.
If you are both single, though, this is a much easier situation. This is going to make things a lot simpler and easier.
Related Article: Getting Over A Breakup
Sign #2: Change Has Happened
What do I mean by change?
Well, what I mean is… Something obviously lead to the breakup in the first place, right?
So for getting back together to be a good idea under any circumstance… It’s important that either one or both of you have made the necessary changes (within yourselves) that’ll allow the relationship to actually be successful this time.
Sign #3: You’re Doing It For The “Right” Reasons
Now, here’s an important distinction I want to make when it comes to what your reasons are for wanting to get back with your ex.
It’s common that after a breakup, you’re going to miss the person you were with and seeing them with someone else might make you jealous and angry. (If you’re looking to make your ex miss you a lot, this article on Vixen Daily contains my best advice).
Or maybe you regret your choice and feel as if you won’t be able to do better than them. Or maybe you’re alone and it terrifies you so you want to jump back into the safety of an old relationship. These are all BAD reasons.
Good reasons are that you realized you are genuinely compatible, that you truly do like him for who he is not who you want him to be. This is a good reason.
It has to be based on a genuine liking for him, not an intense jealous emotion or some kind of fear based decision you make because you don’t want to be alone.
Sign #4: When You Do Talk To Each Other, It’s Pleasant
Now, this is making the assumption that you do communicate with your ex in some way… Because, well, if you don’t, how can you know whether or not you should get back together?
The short answer is you can’t.
So before even thinking about the notion of getting back together, it’s extremely important to simply see what it’s like to talk to him and spend time with him.
Does it feel good, effortless and natural? Then that’s a good sign you should get back together.
Does it feel forced, confrontational and uncomfortable? This is obviously going to indicate that you shouldn’t get back together.
Sign #5: You Genuinely Miss Each Other
If you genuinely miss each other, it’s a good sign that you should get back together.
Now, often right after a relationship ends it’s natural to miss your ex way more intensely. And when the breakup is fresh, your ex will miss you much more intensely as well.
However, that’s not a strong sign that you should get back together. That’s because right after a breakup emotions are at their most intense, and it’s good to sit back and get perspective before you make a decision.
Missing each other is only a sign you should get back together if you genuinely miss each other after enough time has passed to get over the initial shock of the breakup.
If you genuinely miss each other even then, it’s a good sign you should get back together.
See also: Signs A Shy Guy Likes You
Sign #6: One (Or Both Of You) Have Forgiven Each Other
Now, I don’t know exactly why you broke up. But a huge problem that ends up coming up when a couple tries to get back together is… how to forgive.
Now, it could be about anything. Maybe it was the flirtatious behavior one of you refused to stop exhibiting.
Maybe it was the way he wouldn’t respond to your texts. Maybe it was how your ex wouldn’t make time for you or you wouldn’t make time for your ex.
I could go on forever with a million different possible reasons for what could lead to resentment and require forgiveness… But the reasons are not what matters.
What’s important is whether either both of one of you can truly forgive the other if there’s any kind of unspoken resentment or anger or negative emotion that’s festering.
If forgiveness isn’t possible, getting back together isn’t a good idea. It will only lead to huge problems down the line.
Sign #7: The Reason Behind The Breakup
Any time I am asked whether someone should get back together with their ex, I always ask: what was the reason for the breakup?
Was it because you were literally constantly arguing and both of you were so miserable being together was more suffering than fun? Was it because someone cheated? Was it because life circumstances got in the way?
You really need to think about what the reasons for the breakup were when thinking about whether getting back together makes sense or not.
For example, if you were long distance and that ruined your relationship… What will change this time? Is someone going to relocate? Are you going to come up with a solid plan to see each other as often as possible and re-establish trust?
Or if someone cheated… Rebuilding trust can be an impossibly hard task. It’s certainly possible to fix but extremely difficult. So you really have to think about whether the issues you had are fixable.
Related Article: How To Move On After The Breakup
About the author
Nick Bastion is a dating and relationships expert with over 10 years of experience helping men and women have the love lives they’ve always wanted. You can find more of his writing at vixendaily.com in the Love and Relationships section.